Sudden Break Up of a Long Term Relationship: 5 Best Hacks

sudden break up of a long term relationship

Coping with the Sudden Break Up of a Long Term Relationship: 5 Best Hacks

Coping with the sudden break up of a long term relationship is a true challenge for anyone. Divorce or separation after a long term relationship is the number two top life stressor following right behind being widowed. A severe loss can plunge you into depression and health problems.  So do not let yourself go for several months without taking steps to recover.

Why is the loss so painful? Studies have shown that the break up of an intimate relationship activates one of the same areas of the brain as physical pain!  The more loss the people felt, the more activity they had in the anterior cingulate, which also registers physical distress. In other words, your pain is physiological. They also found that the broken heart syndrome is due in part to stress-induced cardiomyopathy (chest pains etc.)

But research has also shown that there are proven ways for coping with a sudden break up of a long term relationship so that you can recover more quickly.

Coping with the Sudden Break Up of a Long Term Relationship: The Case of Julie

Julie, a pediatric nurse in her 50s, was married to Carlos, a surgeon, for 12 years.  Out of the blue  he came home one day and announced he was leaving.  Julie felt like she was broadsided.  She asked why and Carlos said that he felt that they had grown in different directions.  Something just didn’t feel right to Julie and when he was asleep she grabbed his phone and found out that he had an ongoing relationship with his young nurse, Anne. Devastated and heartbroken, she realized that it was an affair that was breaking up her marriage, not a bunch of psycho-babble.  Julie could not eat or sleep and felt broken.  Carlos proceeded to move in with Anne in the following month.

After a few months of serious grief and feeling desperate, she starting coaching with one of my experts.  First, her coach provided a much-needed sounding board for Julie, as she cried her heart out.  But then she made a number of suggestions. These included spending time with her closest girlfriends which was very comforting.  And rather than engaging in futile fights with Carlos, she started a kickboxing class and got her anger out there.

Julie’s coach took her through the diamond self process.  For example, Julie gave herself the Diamond Self nickname of Resilient, Triumphant Irresistible Goddess.  She then went out and had a makeover, with that nickname in mind.  Julie started to really like the way she was emotionally handling the divorce.  And owned how great she looked. She is currently dating two very interesting men and having lots of fun.

Now, here are five hacks for dealing with a sudden break up that have helped many people, including Julie, turn this painful time into a whole new rebirth for themselves!

Coping with the Sudden Break Up of a Long Term Relationship Hack 1: Spend Time with Close Friends

The same UCLA researchers found that spending time and sharing with close friends can offset the pain you feel. In fact, sharing causes the release of natural opioids, which are like the painkillers found in opium.

Coping with the Sudden Break Up of a Long Term Relationship Hack 2: Use Anger As Fuel To Better Yourself

If you are feeling angry, channel it into kick boxing, lifting weights or cardio.  Exercise lifts your mood and youthifies your body. You will de-stress, find more peace and sleep better!

Coping with the Sudden Break Up of a Long Term Relationship Hack 3: Give Yourself a Makeover.

First, think about how sorry your ex will be when he or she sees how fantastic you have become. This thought alone can fuel your rebirth.   So make yourself more attractive, healthier and more peaceful.

Then, invite your friends to come over for a ‘New You’ party where they help give you a makeover.  Let them go through your clothes and accessories, getting rid of unflattering stuff and putting together some hot looks for the new you.  Ask them for referrals to great hair salons or clothing shops. Find a look that makes you feel great.  You can also have a big reveal party for yourself.

Coping with the Sudden Break Up of a Long Term Relationship Hack 4: Get Out There and Date Off- & Online

Start as soon as possible, even if you don’t feel like it.  The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll move on.  At this moment your chances of meeting the love of your life could be better than ever!  The average marriage now lasts under seven years and this means new singles are coming on the scene all the time. Hundreds of million people are now using online dating. You don’t need to worry about getting into a rebound relationship: new research shows that people marrying on the rebound are no more likely to fail than those who wait.

So don’t worry if you are older. In fact, The American Association of Retired Persons found in a recent survey that 70 percent of single baby boomers are actively dating.

Coping with the Sudden Break Up of a Long Term Relationship Hack 5: Meditation and Relaxation

Johns Hopkins researchers recommend practicing relaxation and meditative techniques to get rid of heartache. These include meditation and other spiritual practices, deep breathing or journaling out your feelings.  So make these a part of your daily life and you will bounce back more rapidly from the sudden break up of your long term relationship. In fact, make sure you create a daily practice where you commune with a Power greater than yourself.

Coping with the Sudden Break Up of a Long Term Relationship: A Gift For You

If you’re having difficulty getting through your suffering, I’d like to gift you with a session. My expert coaches have helped many people get through heartbreak and loss from sudden break ups of long term relationships so that they can start living anew. Please don’t try to get through this alone.




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  1. Uwagood on April 29, 2022 at 6:34 pm

  2. Kylie on July 30, 2022 at 4:36 am

    I have experienced this worst situation. All these points have written by Dr. Diana are useful for those who are going through the breakup trauma. Even I use these methods to cheer me up at that time and yes it is hard but no one can change the reality and you should move on.

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