How to Get A Guy to Notice You Online & Weed Out DUDs!

how to get a guy to notice you

Are you wondering how to get a guy to notice you online? Someone who is really a winner?

Not only that, but just how do you weed out all those duds, you know, the crazies, losers and ghosters that somehow manage to find you?

It can be super challenging and downright frustrating to find a great match on an online site/dating app!   But finding true love is being done every day.  Even during covid-19. You just need to learn how!  There are eight fantastic ways to stand out and attract lots of great guys while weeding out DUDs (Definitely Unworkable Dudes) who will just waste your time, breadcrumb, disappear or leave you in heartbreak.

For example, one of our coaching clients, a wonderful nurse named Jade, used just one of these messaging/texting tips to find her forever love– after decades of being alone.  So here are eight dating tips that will help you get a great guy to notice you.

How to get a guy to notice you online: Tip #1 Have a fantastic main photo!

This means you are smiling warmly and looking directly into the camera.  Wear a red scoop top—men are attracted to red!  And you want to show a little skin, but not too much décolletage.  Moderate makeup and a trendy haircut will make you super attractive!  Remember, men are very visual creatures and all these tips are based on research on what makes a woman attractive!!  Using a great photo like this will get you lots of guys to choose from and then you can use the rest of the tips to weed out the DUDs.

How to get a guy to notice you online: Tip #2 Challenge some item in their profile

Take a look at an attractive guy’s profile and pick out something you could gently argue against.  For example, if he says he loves long hikes alone with his dog, you could say, “But hiking together can be a high😉”   Think of the repartee you see between lovers in rom coms—they disagree and have a flirtaciously great time doing it! If they do not respond playfully, you may want to weed them out as DUDs.

How to get a guy to notice you online: Tip #3  Ask for more info about something in his profile

See what he says he loves in his profile and ask for more info about it. You will tap into his passion and  he will notice you! And respond.  So for example, if he says he loves windsurfing, you could say, “How did you get into windsurfing?  It sounds awesome!”  Or if he is a LA Clippers fan, ask him who is favorite player is.

How to get a guy to notice you on Bumble: Tip #4  Use a GIF

The very best ice breaker on Bumble is a GIF.  Make it funny and flirty—for example, a GIF of Jennifer Aniston where you say, “Jennifer let the cat out of the bag about your awesomeness😉”   Or find a funny or unique one and say “This one’s for you, Mr Handsome.”

How to get a guy to notice you on Bumble: Tip #5  Ask funny questions

In addition to GIFs you can also ask a funny question like “Do you have a power animal?” or If you had a warning label, what would it say?”  “What’s your secret superpower?”  Or, “What would you do if you won the lottery”?  This differentiates you from all the other women out there.  It makes you stand out because you come across as much more interesting.  These are the kinds of funny questions that our coaching client Jade used to attract a wonderful lawyer who could have had his pick of any number of women.  He was so attracted by her playfulness!  They are now happily engaged.

How to get a guy to notice you online: Tip # 6 Use three magic questions

For example, our brilliant Chief Creative Officer, Emily Manning from suggests, at the very start of the messaging conversation  it’s a game-changer to throw out three questions — two real ones and one funny to lighten things up. One question is ok – but three, ending with a fun one really gets the conversation more interesting and memorable. Something like, “Hey Joe I’m intrigued. I’d love to know a bit more about you! For example, where did you grow up? What kind of work do you do? And, most importantly, what’s your ultimate guilty pleasure/ favorite candy/ favorite movie of all time/secret talent/most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

Pay close attention to how he answers so you can weed out the DUDs!   If he looks like a good guy and appears to have his life together, continue to communicate for fun and see if he emerges as a good candidate. We especially recommend this if your dance card isn’t full as it can keep your high vibe energy going. Even if the guys aren’t serious candidates you can give them a little time to see if they can step up! You can usually tell after a few message exchanges.   The great guys usually see the questions as a fun game – like they need to pass a test. It sets you up right away as the high value decider/ chooser/interviewer.

How to get a guy to notice you online: Tip # 7 Mine for more info about his goals

You can ask questions like, “What brought you to Match (Bumble)?”  Will get a clue about long term goals.  Is he just looking to have fun?  Or to find a relationship?  You can also mix in a funny one, like, “What is your relationship goal? You want 27 kids LOL?”  Once again this sets you up as the chooser.

How to get a guy to notice you online: Tip # 8 Qualify the guy as a good match before you meet!

One key thing that will help you avoid wasting your valuable time with DUDs:  If they ask you out really quickly, qualify them as good matches. Text, “I’d love to meet, Joe! I just need to know a bit more about you first. Then add two serious questions and one fun question. You can even go the silly route – like “Do you take peperoni on your pizza?” Or, “What’s the funniest text you’ve ever gotten?” Google “Fun get to know you questions” to find more options. This is makes you different from the average woman who is just asking same-old “how was your day” questions.

So, if you are wondering how to get a great guy to notice you online while weeding out DUDs, get a great photo, use GIFs, real questions and a few funny ones with guys you are interested in. Ultimately, the best candidates will respond playfully and give you more info about themselves up front. You want a guy who shares about himself, has your sense of humor, a great guy who has it going on!! And you CAN find him!

Here’s my latest video on how to get a great guy to notice you online



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As a relationship expert, I've helped thousands of women get the love they want-even when it seemed impossible.  I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. You might know me from my PBS Special, seen me on Oprah, or have read one of my bestselling books.

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