Should I Get Back With My Ex? 7 Signs to Help You Know

back with my ex

Many of you have written to me recently with the same question as Maryanne:

“I still love my ex and I think he still loves me. Should I get back with my ex or should I just try to forget him?” -Maryanne, Baltimore
When my expert dating coaches and relationship experts have delved into the “should I get back with my ex” situation, we’ve found that often, even though your relationship is officially “over”, he may suddenly resume his normal e-mails or texting you. Or even call you and ask to get together. But before you rush back to your ex and pretend that everything is business as usual, ask yourself: What’s really changed?

RELATED POST: The Guy Who Broke My Heart is Still Contacting Me

Get Back with my ex?

My relationship advice to Maryanne, was simple: Give him some more contact but do not make it too easy for him. For example, in the first few interactions with her ex, I suggested to Maryanne that she challenge him by asking if he has had any further thoughts about the breakdown in their relationship. He wanted to see her, so she just scheduled a half-hour coffee date and made sure that afterward she had other plans. I warned her to not wind up impulsively sleeping with him again when he hadn’t demonstrated much transformation. This is the kiss of death, and I have seen it happen all too often. And then you have to move on. In this case, Maryanne pulled it off perfectly and later I’ll share with you what happened.

Seven Key Signs to Answer : Should I Get Back with my Ex

Now let’s look at 7 key signs to look for to answer the question,”Should I get back with my ex?” There are a number of others that we teach in our Dating Coaching program but we don’t have room here. Here’s the guiding principle: In order to have more and more contact with you, your ex has to show that he is sincere. Words are cheap. More important, watch for his follow-through on actions he promises you. To help you determine whether you should get back with your ex, study if the separation has helped your guy achieve a breakthrough in his commitment to you. Has his acting out stopped? Finally, have his doubts about you and the relationship changed for the better?

RELATED POST:  How to Get Back with Your Ex

Look at the list below and see if he shows at least 3 of these signs, ranging from modest improvements in behavior to deep transformations.

Seven Signs of Change in Your Ex

1. He shows you that he’s worried or upset (this is realistic if he really cares for you!).
2. You wind up having deep, open, and honest conversations with each other about your relationship, what was missing in it, and where you’d like to take it in the future.
3.  He realizes what he did wrong and is sincerely apologetic (not defensive).
4. Wants to make things up to you.
5. Suddenly saying all the things you used to say about the relationship being great.
6. He expresses his appreciation for you and all you bring to his life.
7. If he has cheated, he cuts off contact with his lover.

RELATED POST: Once a Cheater Always a Cheater

Key Considerations

If he demonstrates three or more of these signs and does want to get back with you, make sure you are having serious conversations about your future. Also, determine what it’s going to take to get your relationship to a deeper level. I recommend couples counseling or Love Mentoring with one of my expert relationship coaches. Remember Maryanne? Her ex showed 3 of these key signs and followed through with a few more thoughtful gestures that really touched her heart. With the help of her relationship coach, Maryanne took a firm stance about what she needed from her ex. And within 12 months they were happily married.

If you or a dear friend are asking yourselves, “should I get back with my ex”, you can get in touch with me today to get a personal gift from me to you. I”ll personally select one of our gifted dating coaches to help you handle your unique challenges with your ex boyfriend. And get THE relationship that is just right for you.  This is time-limited, so Click Here now to be matched for free and get your Complimentary Breakthrough Session by phone or Skype.  It can change your life.

Also, check out my latest video on getting back with your ex boyfriend.


find mr. right this year
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Sign up here for a powerful gift!

FREE Top-Tier Love Strategy Session!

Limited time offer

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.


Are you a successful woman who is tired of having NO good men to date?  THIS  is for you!

Hi, I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. My team and I have helped thousands of successful single women, including judges, famous shrinks, CEOs, philanthropists, Directors, professors, and celebrities like Hoda Kotb from The Today Show to find a high-quality man who understands, appreciates and cherishes them, and I'm confident we can help YOU too!

I'm a PBS Love expert and psychologist who has appeared on Oprah, the Today Show and in an Amazon Prime show, Love in 90 Days based on my bestseller Love in 90 Days.  My work has been featured in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, ABC, People, and NPR.

I specialize in helping high-caliber women create feminine self-confidence, dating success, and passionate love matches.

I want to do everything I can to give you hands-on personalized support that will make a lasting difference!

That's why I'm excited to offer a FREE Top-Tier Love Strategy Session via Zoom or phone with one of my gifted coaches.

During your powerful and dynamic one-on-one session, we will help you with your unique dating situation. You'll walk away refreshed and inspired, with a clear step-by-step path forward to move through any obstacles and get the top-tier love you want.  And deserve!

"I followed the program and enjoyed the process. I appreciate Dr. Diana planting very helpful seeds!"
-Hoda Kotb, The Today Show

Here's what women like you are saying:

"My love strategy session helped me to meet a really high-caliber guy!  In it I learned how to tweak my profile to attract great matches.  And my boyfriend is the best!  We are having a blast building our dream house and planning for a cruise to Tahiti ! -Darla, Psychologist & Author

matchmaker, dating coach, dating tips, dating & relationship advice"I was fifty-two years old with a career that was enviably successful. But my love life was not. And I couldn't figure out why. As my love mentor, Diana helped me understand that I not only deserved to have but could have a strong, loving life partner who would always be there for me.  I found true love in three months! And after 4 plus years of marriage, my husband and I still pinch ourselves every day to make sure that it's not a dream!" - Midge Woolsey, PBS Pledge Host


  1. Susan on September 25, 2012 at 6:19 pm

    This is such a great site. I have to have my son read this. His ex is trying to get back with him. Most times it’s the one who has gotten dumped that ends up trying to change. This is great advice.

  2. how do you get an ex back on July 24, 2013 at 7:47 am

    Hola! I’ve been reading your website for a while now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Austin Texas! Just wanted to say keep up the excellent job!

  3. vanessa joe cole on January 26, 2014 at 11:38 am

    I like your information you have provided, thanks. Very useful advice within your post, keep it up!

  4. how to get your ex back on July 21, 2014 at 9:12 am

    Great post! Thanks, dude!

Leave a Comment