What Makes a Man Want to Commit? Four Key Secrets
What Makes a Man Want to Commit? Four Key Secrets
Are you wondering, what makes a man want to commit? So many women are asking this question these days, with the rise of ghosting, bread crumbing and scads of choices right and left (pun intended!) that lure men’s attention away from you.
Maybe you are dating a guy who has come on like gangbusters, giving you roses, moonlight strolls, dinners at a oozy Italian restaurant and juicy interludes in bed where he looks lovingly into your eyes. Things were going great, or so you thought, and then several months in he has a “work commitment” or has to travel out of town, and he just pulls away. No more daily texting, no more juicy dates. And you are left wondering, does he just need space or is he really not feeling it, not wanting to commit to a future with me? How can I help him see how great we are together? How can I get him to come closer and choose me once and for all? To see how great we really are together?
Or maybe you are just sick of a merry-go-round of dating one guy after another for a few months each time, a merry-go-round of being excited about each new man, thinking he’s different, only to be disappointed time and time again. Or perhaps you’ve been dating a guy for a whole year and things are not moving forward to living together or getting engaged. And you are definitely feeling frustrated and anxious.
Well, there are four key secrets that do make a man want to commit. And, while there are no guarantees, you can use these keys to optimize the chance that he will commit to you once and for all.
What Makes a Man Want to Commit? Secret #1: Make Sure you Continue to have Fun!
When researchers asked men why they married their wives, they say,” Because I feel good around her!” So once you enter a gray zone with a guy where you have been together for at least a few months, but it is just not clear where things are going,, don’t flip out, get anxious, needy or resentful yourself. Make sure you continue to have fun with the guy. Suggest dates that you will love and enjoy yourself thoroughly. This sets the stage for him to enjoy himself and associate you with good times!
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What Makes a Man Want to Commit? Secret #2: Get your Diamond Self Glow On
Your Diamond Self is your best self identity, it’s the you you really are, under your insecurities and self-doubt. It’s the you that you love, where you know you deserve a commitment. Give your Diamond Self an empowering self-loving nickname. It will bring our your real charisma, playfulness and personality. By reading my book, Love in 90 Days, tens of thousands of women have done the Diamond Self work and love it!!!! Here are some examples of great nicknames they have given themselves:
Beloved Chosen Goddess
Vive Love Vixen
Precious Loving Lioness
Play full out and give yourself a nickname like this that makes you smile! Then dress the part of Sparkalicious Sunshine or Vive Love Vixen. Do some shopping and also buy a piece of jewelry that speaks to you in this identity. When you are in your Diamond Self identity you will be great fun to be with and your guy is likely to get how special you really are!
What Makes a Man Want to Commit? Secret #3: Support his dreams for the future.
Commitment is all about the future. The best relationships have a dynamic where each member of the couple helps the other’s dreams of the future come true. Find out what his work aspirations, family goals, dream trips and experiences really are. Does he want to become a doctor? Build a business? Go to India? Encourage him to play full out and go for his dreams. Envision where you could go along and be helpful to him. If you develop a compelling and exciting shared future vision he is more likely to commit.
What Makes a Man Want to Commit? Secret #4: Show him what life is like without you
If you have been together for a year or so and your guy is waffling about a commitment, show him what life is like without you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you pull away he will appreciate you to the max. So if he is just not stepping up, let him know that you need some space to think about things. Text and call less. For sure, do not see him at the usual times. Spend some time pampering yourself instead.
Khloe, a 39 year old dental hygienist in our coaching program was wondering, What makes a man want to commit? She was going through the merry-go-round of dating many guys, with each one starting out strong and ending up breaking up with her. In fact, her biological clock was ticking away and her dream of bouncy babies was beginning to fade. Her coach asked Khloe to be much more selective in who she dated. So she screened out men who had baggage from old relationships and ruled out the commitment-phobes. Then she concentrated exclusively on looking for guys who were marriage material.
Khloe Meets her Guy
As a result, Khloe met Greg, a headhunter at a large firm who wanted a family. But after four months of dating they were in that gray zone where things were not clear. Khloe braced for rejection. But her coach did not let her become distant and quiet as she usually did at that point with guys. Instead her coach encouraged her to have fun, talk about Greg’s dreams, and to be her Diamond self. Khloe’s nickname was the Chosen, Safe, Self-Expressed Goddess. And she had a lot of fun with this. She did some Diamond Self shopping and bought herself a red velvet jacket that made her feel like a million dollars. Plus, a faux ruby ring that reminded her of her nickname. As it happens, by month ten Greg proposed and bought the Chosen, Safe, Self-Expressed Goddess a big juicy diamond ring. Surprised, Khloe was speechless.
Of course, Greg was ready. You can’t make a guy commit if he truly is not ready. There are many readiness factors that you have to look at: Is he established enough in his career; has he dated enough women to know the One when he meets her; and does he not have too much baggage in the form of bitterness and distrust of women. And then there are some men are just commitment-phobes and deep down do not want to change. So, if you give things you best shot with a guy and he doesn’t rise to the occasion, move on. There are soooo many men out there for you!
If you’re struggling with a man who doesn’t want to commit, you can get in touch with me today to get a personal gift from me to you.
As a PBS love expert, I’ve helped thousands of women dealing with men’s commitment issues. So that they can get the love they want. My gift to you is I will personally select one of our gifted dating coaches to help you handle your unique challenges and get THE relationship that is just right for you. This is time-limited. So Click Here now to be matched for free and get your Complimentary Breakthrough Session by phone or Skype. Without a doubt, this session can change your life.
Also, for lots more on what makes a man want to commit, get my free Must-Have Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter. In fact, it even comes with 3 free Essential Love Trainings for anyone looking for love:
- What Men Want in a Relationship (It will surprise you!)
- How to Find Love When You Feel Deserted
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Dr. Diana Kirschner
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.
“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.