Self-Sabotaging Mistakes that Turn Men Off

Wondering whether you turn men off in your dating and love life? Lots of women do this. And it is accidental and unconscious and sometimes very hard to understand! This can be especially troubling when it comes to the guys you like, the very ones you are interested in! Who then proceed to disappear on you.

It’s super disappointing when things go south with someone you are into. But it could be just a matter of you doing some very small things that turn men off. And I am going to review the most common turnoffs, with the help of an amazing dating coach, Mark Rosenfeld, who you will soon meet in the video below!

So you can upgrade your dating skills and keep the guy you want.

Sometimes it seems like the chances of finding and keeping your soulmate are slim to none. You may feel like you will never find the one true love who will overlook your foibles and hang in there to make your relationship work! I know. You may even be burnt out with dating altogether. I understand. But just check out the rest of this blog and video to help you get where you truly want to go in your heart of hearts.

Mistakes that Turn Men Off: Being Judgmental Etc.

One of the things you may be doing that turns men off is being too judgmental and picky. Especially about looks, income, and other more superficial things.

Other things that turn men off include:

Being too nice, where you tend to turn yourself inside out to be who the guy wants
Not being yourself–you tend to NOT be real about asking him to fill your own needs and wants
Settling for crumbs, where the guy sees you rarely and gives you only a small amount of his time or attention
Playing hard to get and keeping your distance

How NOT to Turn Men Off

So, let’s make sure you are choosing the right guys to spend your precious time with! Ones who will respond when you stop doing these small things that turn men off. Men who are not as picky about how you are acting. I call these true soulmates, who are totally into you. There are key questions that separate what I call a DUD (Definitely Unworkable Dude) from a STUD (Seriously Terrific, Utterly Devoted Dude). They weed out those who are heart-breakers or not good love matches. There is no perfect guy. But you can find a wonderful guy who is willing to grow into an almost perfect STUD! Who will find almost anything you do endearing!

The Two Questions to Ask Yourself

When you meet someone, ask yourself the following questions:

Is this guy:

Crazy About Me?

Eager to see me
Reluctant to leave me
Interested in me and my life
Wants to be helpful
Is verbally and physically affectionate
Wants to be sexual with me
Acts like I am very special; doesn’t really want to date others
Willing to hang in there as I work the Program of Three

Willing to Grow?

Takes suggestions or advice
Is self-reflective
Is willing to go to therapy or life coaching
Takes growth courses
Meditates or prays
Is in a 12-step program or men’s group

How to Evaluate Your Date

If a guy is willing to grow, he can have straight talk with you about things that turn him off. And this can be super helpful: you want to have a win-win relationship where you both grow together!

A guy has to meet at least several of these standards in each of the two categories to be eligible to date you. In fact, choosing from this pool of men will save you a lot of wasted time with men who are not into you, scoundrels who betray you, or narcissists who blame you for any and every problem. Using the DUD/STUD screening greatly increases your chances of finding your soulmate who loves you unconditionally and sets you up to have a solid, long-lasting love relationship. This means that your partner is your best friend who overlooks things you do that tend to turn men off.

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You’ve Built a Beautiful Life. Now It’s Time for a Love That Matches It. ❤️

Hi Love, I’m Dr. Diana Kirschner,
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