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Marrying Kind of Men: Seven Key Signs

marrying kind of men marriage materialThis is another research article that answers the question of who are the marrying kind of men. If you want to know if your guy is marriage material check out my newly revised book, Love in 90 Days.

Who really are the marrying kind of men? Who is Marriage Material?

Some women think they don’t exist anymore like an extinct species of mammal. And here’s yet another email on this topic:

“Dear Dr. Diana,

I’ve done it again. Fell for the wrong guy. He had no interest in a serious relationship or making a commitment. Obviously, I missed the signs. So could you tell me please what are the signs of the marrying kind of men? Please tell me what to look for?”  Susan in Omaha

Susan, I’ve got good news for you and for the many others who ask the question, “who are the marrying kind of men?”  Over the past few years, researchers have looked closely at the types of men who are more likely to be interested in a long-term relationship or marriage. And those who are likely to be commitment-phobic or players.

The tell-tale signs based on research that can guide you towards the marrying kind of men.

Rutgers University and The National Marriage Project conducted a national study that showed that married men were more likely than single men to have grown up with both biological parents.  Almost half of the married men reported going to religious services several times a month, while less than one quarter of the unmarried men did.  When the researchers sorted out the “Marrying Kind of men”, they found a similar difference. Those who came from traditional backgrounds in intact families and those who attended religious services regularly each month were more likely to agree with: “You’d be ready to marry tomorrow if the right person came along.”  Also, a Gallup poll showed that the vast majority of these marrying kind of men are seeking a “soulmate” who will fulfill their emotional, sexual and spiritual desires. They also wanted someone who was willing to share bread-winning responsibilities.

Seven significant differences between the ‘marrying kind of men’ and the non-marrying kind.

Men who are not marriage material were more likely to:

  • Distrust women to tell the truth about prior relationships. 
  • Worry more about the risks of divorce. 
  • Say they did not want children. 
  • Believed that singles have better sex lives than marrieds. 
  • Agree to: “There are so many bad marriages today it makes one question the value of marriage.”
  • Say that at this stage of life they just wanted to have fun.
  • Express the concern that, “If you marry, your biggest concern would be losing your personal freedom.”

Ladies, there are some important clues here. 

 Obviously, there are wonderful, available guys who don’t fit the complete profile of the marrying kind of men.  Nevertheless, the research is convincing that good parental role models and a spiritual or religious background help in molding guys who want commitment. If marriage or a lasting love relationship is your goal, you may want to watch early on for info and clues about a guy’s upbringing. Look for eagerness for marriage and practicing spiritual or religious activities. Single dads can often be great prospective partners.

On the other hand, definitely watch out for a guy’s general distrust of women and fears about losing personal freedom. Don’t waste your time on men who are not marriage material. They will only break your heart.

Be discerning in looking for the men that are marriage material.  But if you need help figuring that out please ask for a free coaching strategy session.




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Dr. Diana Kirschner

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.

“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.


  1. Indian matrimonial on July 28, 2010 at 5:20 am

    “Love in 90 Days” was very nice book I got many things on dating.

  2. Thomas on October 17, 2010 at 9:44 am

    Heh. No.

    As it happens, the religious do not only have higher marriage rates than agnostics and atheists; they also have significantly higher divorce rates.

    What this suggests is that religion is that the whole traditional religious lifestyle which you claim makes men more likely to marry actually makes them more likely to marry for the sake of marrying itself – even if it’s with the wrong partner.

    Your article conflates two fundamentally distinct concepts.

    The first is that men who are not looking for commitment, distrust marriage and feel that serious relationships would harm their freedom are poor candidates for long-term relationships. This is true, but also obvious.

    The second is that those with a traditional upbringing are likely to emulate their parents’ lifestyle and thus seek out marriage. While true, this is strongly misleading. It fails to acknowledge the fact that to be a proper marriage partner, more than a mere desire to be married is needed.

    Men who believe they are “supposed” to get married may get married despite having serious doubts about the relationship, or despite not having reached the emotional maturity needed to make a relationship work.

    If a woman wants to figure out whether a man is interested in marriage, the best thing to do is to listen to what he says about the matter. A novel thought, I know. If she wants to figure out whether he is good “marriage material”, the proper thing would be to look at his behavior – and realize that in marriage, his personality will still be the same one he had before getting married.

  3. Dr. Diana Kirschner on October 20, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    Hi Thomas
    What data are you using to make the point that the religious “have significantly higher divorce rates”? Please share
    Dr. D

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