This is another research article in the Understanding Men Blog that answers the question of who are the marrying kind of men.
Who really are the marrying kind of men?
Some women think they don’t exist anymore like an extinct species of mammal. And here’s yet another email on this topic:
“Dear Dr. Diana,
I’ve done it again. Fell for the wrong guy. He had no interest in a serious relationship or making a commitment. Obviously, I missed the signs. So could you tell me please what are the signs of the marrying kind of men? Please tell me what to look for?” Susan in Omaha
Susan, I’ve got good news for you and for the many others who ask the question, “who are the marrying kind of men?” Over the past few years, researchers have looked closely at the types of men who are more likely to be interested in a long-term relationship or marriage. And those who are likely to be commitment-phobic or players.
The tell-tale signs based on research that can guide you towards the marrying kind of men.
Rutgers University and The National Marriage Project conducted a national study that showed that married men were more likely than single men to have grown up with both biological parents. Almost half of the married men reported going to religious services several times a month, while less than one quarter of the unmarried men did. When the researchers sorted out the “Marrying Kind of men”, they found a similar difference. Those who came from traditional backgrounds in intact families and those who attended religious services regularly each month were more likely to agree with: “You’d be ready to marry tomorrow if the right person came along.” Also, a Gallup poll showed that the vast majority of these marrying kind of men are seeking a “soulmate” who will fulfill their emotional, sexual and spiritual desires. They also wanted someone who was willing to share bread-winning responsibilities.
Seven significant differences between the ‘marrying kind of men’ and the non-marrying kind.
Marriage avoiders were more likely to:
- Distrust women to tell the truth about prior relationships.
- Worry more about the risks of divorce.
- Say they did not want children.
- Believed that singles have better sex lives than marrieds.
- Agree to: “There are so many bad marriages today it makes one question the value of marriage.”
- Say that at this stage of life they just wanted to have fun.
- Express the concern that, “If you marry, your biggest concern would be losing your personal freedom.”
Ladies, there are some important clues here.
Obviously, there are wonderful, available guys who don’t fit the complete profile of the marrying kind of men. Nevertheless, the research is convincing that good parental role models and a spiritual or religious background help in molding guys who want commitment. If marriage is your goal, you may want to watch early on for info and clues about a guy’s upbringing. Look for eagerness for marriage and practicing spiritual or religious activities. Single dads can often be great prospective partners.
On the other hand, definitely watch out for a guy’s general distrust of women and fears about losing personal freedom. Don’t waste your time on the ‘non marrying kind of men’. They will only break your heart.
Be discerning in looking for the right one and find out what any serious contender is offering you. Remember that you deserve a loving commitment.