The Loving Mother Meditation
As I’ve mentioned before, the primary relationship we have as a template for intimacy is our relationship with the mothering one. In order to build on that, here is a guided imagery loving mother meditation that can help you develop self-love based on the archetype of an unconditionally loving mother. (Not your real mother, even if she was unconditionally caring!) If the word mother brings negative associations to mind, you can substitute “angel” or “goddess.”
Start by sitting in a comfortable private place. Put on uplifting or inspirational music and then close your eyes and take some deep breaths to relax. After the music ends, read each paragraph of the guided meditation to yourself and then take a few seconds to close your eyes and imagine it happening. Let whatever images come up play out in your mind. This is like feeding yourself extremely nutritious food, but it is food you can use to build your mind instead of your body. It can help you build positive associations about yourself. Feel free to go with any other loving images that might come to mind as you do the exercise.
If you want a truly powerful experience, I’ve recorded this meditation (see below for a free MP3) so you can simply listen to it with eyes closed as you sit in a private place.
Loving Mother Meditation
Feel the tension draining out, out of your fingertips out of the soles of your feet. I’d like to take you on a journey to a special place, a place that is just right for you. your own special place…it may be on a beach, in a meadow or on a mountaintop… it’s a place where you feel safe, you can feel the ground underneath you… see the sky above… feel the air brush against your cheek…you hear the wonderful sounds…. as you know that you are in a place that is just right for you….your own special place., all the right feelings, all the right sights, all the right sounds…feeling safe, secure, content, happy. Free your deeper mind…for greater creativity and the ability to use incredible resources available in your consciousness.
Loving Mother Meditation: Being Held
You might like to fantasize…live it right now… as you imagine a real loving maternal presence, the Great Earth mother or Angel or Goddess), holding you in the most tender way…. a comfortable way that is just right…. and she is looking at you and filling you with light and love…she may remind you of a very loving person you once saw, or of a saint, goddess figure… or she might be a mermaid holding you in the healing waters…she can be in any form that is just right for you…and as you feel her tender touch, see her beaming open smile… feel her eyes looking deeply into your eyes…catch her lightly perfumed scent…it is remarkably easy and effortless to take in her great appreciation and love for you… you realize that she has chosen you and only you….and she sees… in you perfection….the perfection of the Divine.
Loving Mother Meditation: Merging
Now imagine gently floating out of your body and into hers…so that you can see what she sees and feel what she feels….hear your voice the way she hears it….notice the wonderful details about you that the great mother appreciates….you may experience a rush of really good feelings about yourself that absolutely and permanently melts away any and all doubts and fears… see beyond the negative self judgments… and right into your own perfect nature…..becoming clear about… just how beautiful you really are…. inner and outer beauty.
Seeing yourself through the eyes of this great loving mother… seeing you… in all your perfection….. and looking through her eyes you can’t help but be struck by the fact of your unique, exquisite nature…your real innocence, purity and radiance…….like the mind-stopping beauty of the most wonderful flower….the real existence of your divine self…your loving nature…and you accept…. just how exquisite you really are…you know it…how precious, how beautiful you are.
Loving Mother Meditation: Returning to Self
And now imagine floating back into your body…and you feel her love pouring into you even more strongly and you know that it is the love that is meant just for you…it may be like a flowing light that changes colors, now purple, now blue now golden radiant, lovely… the love pouring in… filling you with warmth and such a good, good feeling…as you say to yourself.. I am… beauty….beauty, itself…the love may come as a melody, a love song….from those who love you now…from those who loved you in the past and those who will love you in future… and you see it coming through her eyes…through her heart to your heart.
When there is this much love some people feel a compulsion to feel appreciation for themselves in all ways…to feel absolutely complete…free…content….able to be with a child-like innocence…filled with joy… profound loving connection and free and easy giving to others…and very optimistic about creating a real lifelong love relationship…you will find that you can express your natural beauty more and more each day…and when you look in the mirror you will automatically focus on the positives and approve of yourself.
Loving Mother Meditation: Your Relationship
And I don’t’ know if you know yet just how relaxed and confident you’ll be around your special man, …you can now imagine how radiant, confident, playful, real and at ease you will be….you find it surprisingly easy to relate to him…as you feel your real charisma and fun personality naturally play out.
With the Great Mother’s blessing you feel you deserve a great lasting love and you are certain that the universe will give it all to you. And now take a moment and get an image of you fully actualized as an amazing woman who knows her own worth,…who is fully open to love from the Diamond Self of your partner…as you create roots and wings together for each other in a loving giving way. You can see that you were meant to have the highest uplifting love with this man who is your best friend, your sexy lover, willing to be better and better as you are willing to be a better and better person.
And you see that the love you’ve been getting is getting better and better…not too much and not too little…just the way you want and need it to be…..all that you rightfully need and claim…all that you need and claim as your birthright….and you feel happy, strong, very strong in and of yourself. secure… and you know that you can have absolute trust in yourself, in your own knowing, your own intuition, your own strength and protection …..you feel so good…so very good…better than you’ve ever felt before. You take great pleasure in your delightful and beloved Diamond self.
Loving Mother Meditation: Owning Self-Love
And now park the feeling of self love …right in its own special place in the deepest part of your mind. ..park it permanently….in the very deepest part of your mind….and then in the deepest part of your heart….so that it can be with you 24/7…and this means, as you know…you take healing, strengthening love… love’s feeling, love’s light, love’s melody with you…wherever and whenever….and you have it while you are sleeping…while you are walking down the street…at the computer…while you work……and most of all, when you are with your Beloved….anytime, anywhere…in a way that is just right for you….
And you know that it is all parked right down there, deep…exactly where you need it to be…where it will color and shape your relationship…in such surprising, powerful and wonderful ways…you are awestruck and so grateful…so very grateful to have this ongoing love… like a force that is greater than the mightiest nuclear power…greater than the power of the sun…filling you and your Beloved and your world.
Loving Mother Meditation: Instructions
This meditation takes about 20 minutes to complete. You can do part of it or the whole thing. Use it to calm yourself down after a fight to stop from binge eating or drinking. Use it to prevent yourself from making a phone call or sending an email or text that you’ll regret later. Nourishing yourself with a loving meditation will restore you to sanity and bring out your Diamond Self. Believe me, the world will appear to be brighter.
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Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.
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