Soulmate Talking: The Power of Speaking Your Truth

soulmate talking

Soulmate Talking: The Power of Speaking Your Truth

Ever wonder how happy couples communicate with each other? What is the secret of their soulmate talking behavior?
Well, I just got an email from Ellen, in Iowa who’s feeling frustrated in her relationship with her live-in boyfriend:

Dear Dr. Diana,

Sometimes I feel like it is impossible to tell my boyfriend what I really think, feel or even want.  Even though it is so important to me to feel like I am understood in this relationship.  I’m afraid it is all too much for him. Or that he will disappear on me. What should I do?

Ellen, speaking your truth is vital to creating a real love that lasts. I call it Soulmate Talking.

Soulmate Talking

Here’s an excerpt from  my relationship advice book, 30 Days to Love: The Ultimate Relationship Turnaround Guide . It’s free right now with Kindle Unlimited. This little book will help you learn the skill of soulmate talking so that you and your partner can  have more of your needs met in the relationship:

“We all have to have courage to have loving straight talk with our partners. I call this Soulmate Talking– communicating who you are and what you really need. Here’s how the great psychoanalyst and philosopher Erich Fromm described it:

“There is nothing of which we are more ashamed than of not being ourselves. And there is nothing which brings us greater joy and happiness than to think, feel, and say what is ours.

How Happy Couples Use Soulmate Talking

Healthy partners clearly explain what they think and feel. More importantly, they express what they want and need so that they can help each other win and come through for one another. They make statements like, “Honey, I feel a bit lonely. Please sit with me,” or “Sweetheart, I’m really tired and would love it if you cleaned up the kitchen tonight.”

How often do you find yourself in an inner rant, full of resentment because your partner should have known? It is amazing how we all get into the expectation that someone should be able to read our minds and just know what we need. And, of course, deliver it. This is simply not fair.

So in the next day or two, please avoid relying on mind reading, in which you assume that your significant other should just “get” what you really want and provide it without you having to ask. This negative pattern sets your partner up to fail, which creates disappointment, anger, and emotional alienation.

RELATED POST: ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

Ask For What You Need Lovingly

The idea that makes it all work is to lovingly say what is on your mind and ask for what you need. Take some quiet time alone and journal about it a bit to understand exactly what you do want. You will gain a lot of clarity that way.

There’s another benefit gained from expressing your truth and, most importantly, your deeper needs for encouragement, support, and dedication. We now know through research on healthy couples that having your partner’s help in growing as a person and vice-versa also improves the quality of the whole relationship. In fact, as Pearl Buck once said, “Love dies only when growth stops.” So reach for your courage, take a risk and practice soulmate talking. As they say, No guts, no glory.”

One of my personal reasons for writing about soulmate talking is that I’ve found that many women find it extremely difficult, if not impossible, to speak their truth in a way that it can be heard. Yet it is absolutely essential for a true passionate relationship. If you do not speak your truth, a distance will grow between the two of you and love will disappear from your relationship. That’s when people start having affairs. And not with each other.

And just for fun, take my soulmate quiz and see how your guy scores on that. It’s another part of the extensive soulmate blog.

 

find mr. right this year
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Sign up here for a powerful gift!

FREE Top-Tier Love Strategy Session!

Limited time offer

Name(Required)
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

dianacircle

Are you a successful woman who is tired of having NO good men to date?  THIS  is for you!

Hi, I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. My team and I have helped thousands of successful single women, including judges, famous shrinks, CEOs, philanthropists, Directors, professors, and celebrities like Hoda Kotb from The Today Show to find a high-quality man who understands, appreciates and cherishes them, and I'm confident we can help YOU too!

I'm a PBS Love expert and psychologist who has appeared on Oprah, the Today Show and in an Amazon Prime show, Love in 90 Days based on my bestseller Love in 90 Days.  My work has been featured in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, ABC, People, and NPR.

I specialize in helping high-caliber women create feminine self-confidence, dating success, and passionate love matches.

I want to do everything I can to give you hands-on personalized support that will make a lasting difference!

That's why I'm excited to offer a FREE Top-Tier Love Strategy Session via Zoom or phone with one of my gifted coaches.

During your powerful and dynamic one-on-one session, we will help you with your unique dating situation. You'll walk away refreshed and inspired, with a clear step-by-step path forward to move through any obstacles and get the top-tier love you want.  And deserve!

"I followed the program and enjoyed the process. I appreciate Dr. Diana planting very helpful seeds!"
-Hoda Kotb, The Today Show

Here's what women like you are saying:

"My love strategy session helped me to meet a really high-caliber guy!  In it I learned how to tweak my profile to attract great matches.  And my boyfriend is the best!  We are having a blast building our dream house and planning for a cruise to Tahiti ! -Darla, Psychologist & Author

matchmaker, dating coach, dating tips, dating & relationship advice"I was fifty-two years old with a career that was enviably successful. But my love life was not. And I couldn't figure out why. As my love mentor, Diana helped me understand that I not only deserved to have but could have a strong, loving life partner who would always be there for me.  I found true love in three months! And after 4 plus years of marriage, my husband and I still pinch ourselves every day to make sure that it's not a dream!" - Midge Woolsey, PBS Pledge Host

Leave a Comment