Signs You Will Never Find Love: Five Hacks to Overcome Them
Are you wondering about signs you will never find love? All single people have felt this way at one point or another. Here are 10 key signs that show that you may have given up on finding love.
- You are too depressed to try
- You have a family background of abuse, negativity or emotional abandonment
- You have had toxic relationships in the past
- You don’t know how to go about dating successfully
- You are in heartbreak
- You don’t feel attractive
- You have a lot of negative self-talk, criticizing yourself all the time
- You are very critical of the matches you are seeing online or meeting—there are no good matches left in your area
- You have never had a relationship
- You don’t believe love is possible for you, because you are too old, too fat, too (fill in the blank)
If you have four or more of these issues, you are definitely love-challenged.
But the great news is that you can overcome these challenges and succeed!
“How,” you ask…
First please understand that many, if not all of these “signs” are beliefs based in repetitive thoughts you are having. Reality can be very different than beliefs or thoughts. But thoughts do seem very real to us. And we tend to repeat them to ourselves over and over.
Here are five ways to transcend and undo negative thinking and banish “signs” you will never find love. So that you do find true soulmate love!
Overcoming Signs You Will Never Find Love#1: Know that you are doing it
You are reading this right now because you want to learn and you are willing to expand yourself when it comes to dating, my love! This shows a strong will, resilience, willingness and coachability! These are the KEY hallmarks of successful people in every arena, including love. Which means, drum-roll please,
You are doing it!!! You are doing it!!! Yes, you are doing it!
Please take a moment and say out loud, “I am doing it!” three times. This will help it imprint psychologically.
Overcoming Signs You Will Never Find Love#2: Flip the switch from negative signs to an attitude of gratitude
Some small things in your life are going right. If you flip the switch to an attitude of gratitude, you will instantly feel much better! Gratitude is the master emotion that leads to happiness. Here are gratitude affirmations that will end burnout and thinking about signs you will never find love once and for all!
- I notice and appreciate my dating accomplishments small and large
- Thankful for my willingness to go on a courageous journey to understanding love
- I see wonderful things I have created that increase my inner and outer beauty.
- Grateful and touched by the blessings and gifts that have come to me.
- I celebrate myself for all the courageous chances I have taken in my journey to love.
- I notice and enjoy the amazing new dawn of love I am entering now.
Overcoming Signs You Will Never Find Love#3: Reward yourself to create constant wins
This means you get a reward for any dating progress, large or small! You will be in a state of constant wins—which releases the feel-good neurotransmitter, dopamine! You will experience success after each step toward your love goal. This is a matter of focusing on PROGRESS! Reward yourself for:
- Tweaking your profile
- Posting a great main photo
- Reaching out to guys/gals online
- Not reacting when someone ghosts or disappoints you (this counts big time! It is just part of the game)
- Working your online sites or apps (Even if you are seeing the same old losers or absolutely no one who is even in the ballpark!)
- Switching up sites/apps that you are using
- Messaging back and forth with a match on the dating site
- Moving on to a text or phone relationship
- Going on a date. (NO matter what happens!!!)
- Leaving a relationship that is not working (takes tremendous courage!)
- Casually dating two or three contenders at once
- Going exclusive with the One
- Getting an inspiring coach to give you a super-boost!
Some fun rewards include:
- Taking a candlelit bubble bath
- Giving yourself a pretty mani-pedi
- Doing a little shopping online or IRL
Overcoming Signs You Will Never Find Love#4: Get Support
So now, let me tell you about Emma, 38, who came to us for coaching. She saw lots of signs that she would never find love. Emma had an abusive background and was abandoned by her raging alcoholic father early on. Her mother was super critical of her, especially about her not being married. So she wound up believing that she was less than, that she did not deserve to have it all. Emma’s relationship-killer belief was that I can’t have love because there is something wrong with me. Even though she was a very successful nurse. But her biological clock was ticking furiously. Emma so wanted a husband and children before it was too late!
She had gone on 100 dates in the last year, and yet, rarely got asked out for a second or third one. Emma had had only 2 brief relationships, each of which only lasted 4-5 months. She was lonely, alone and becoming more and more depressed about it. All her friends seemed to be happily married with great kids. But not her. It was putting a strain on her friendships. Emma just felt like damaged goods. She felt so isolated and lonely that she even had to go on anti-depressants.
Emma Begins to Transform
The problem was that Emma was trying too hard. Even though she was thin and actually gorgeous, She was very shy and tried to be what she thought the guys wanted her to be. Or what the dating gurus and books told her to be. And the result was she came across as cold, distant or boring.
In fact, we’ve found that guys like real women, women who are utterly themselves. Who can joke and flirt and help a guy to feel attractive.
It is not about your dress size, or age. It is about how you radiate your real essence. How you shine. And everyone shines. It is just that sometimes, like Cinderella, your shine is covered over from fear, or the suffering from old wounds. So you feel you will never find love. This is what was happening to Emma. But then she did our explosively powerful inner Diamond Self work and her feminine power came alive. And it was irresistible. More on Emma’s love breakthrough later! But support was absolutely critical in her case! And it could absolutely transform your love life to the upside! If you want to talk with one of my handpicked, gifted coaches in a gift session, click here. And you will know what I mean!
Overcoming Signs You Will Never Find Love#5: Do the powerful diamond self exercise
In fact, your brain cannot tell the difference between your outer reality and the images you create in your imagination. So here is a brief, super-powerful guided imagery designed to help you get the love that meets the calling of your heart, starting right now !!!! (No matter what has happened in the past, or how disappointing the guys in your area are!!!)
Put your feet on the floor, sit up straight, and take a few deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth.
So I want you to pretend it’s three years from now. I know there’s no such thing as a perfect world but bear with me … let’s pretend it’s perfect. Absolutely perfect. No barriers, nothing stopping you. Describe your perfect life. If you find there’s a little voice in your head telling you, “That’s silly, you can’t have that”, just ignore it. Your life is perfect. You have everything you’ve always wanted and longed for. Imagine it now, how it looks, sounds, how incredibly great it feels”.
Overcoming Signs You Will Never Find Love: Envisioning the Future
First off, ask yourself, what is your Beloved like? What is the adventure of your life together? Do you have a darling baby? Are you traveling together? Do you live in a darling house overlooking nature?
If you could have everything you just described, VERY IMPORTANT, How would your life be different? Describe it to yourself.
Everything you just described is 100% achievable. There is absolutely NO REASON why you cannot have the love, joy, security, and family life you would love to have. In fact, all you need is the roadmap to get there!
Now I want you to close your eyes again and give the future YOU that is living into your incredible love vision a nickname! Have fun and play with this, I will say some examples to get you going on this exercise, Beloved Mighty Isis, Chosen Irresistible Goddess of light, Saucy Minx, Vivacious Vixen, Captain Jack, Courageous, Resilient Queen of love, you get the idea! I call this the Diamond Self work, and it totally sets our work apart from any other love coaching. In this work you become your very own fairy godmother! It changes everything, once you learn how to integrate the identity you prefer!
Overcoming Signs You Will Never Find Love: Emma’s Breakthrough
So remember, Emma, who was looking for signs she would never find love? She worked with her coach to get rid of her limiting beliefs about love. Emma also gave herself the Diamond Self Name, Chosen Irresistible Secure and happy Goddess of Laughter and Light. At first she thought it was ridiculous–almost embarrassing! But then she went shopping and bought some very flattering red flowing dresses that showcased her curves. She started to feel feminine, magnetic, super attractive to men. Emma was shocked when she started dating 4 great guys who kept asking her out! One whisked her off to Paris for a whirlwind weekend–and they had a glorious time. In fact, Emma is now married to him and pregnant with her first baby!
Ok, you may still be thinking, Great dr. Diana, but, “I really am too old/fat/ ugly”. Or I am in a city where all the great men are taken. All I see online are old guys and losers. Whenever you get a sabotaging thought like that, I want you to Visualize a big stop sign in your mind. Or simply say stop in your mind when a self-sabotaging thought threatens to take you over.!
Signs You Will Never Find Love: The Case of Sandy
Next, let me tell you about one of our coaching clients, Sandy, who was 50 pounds overweight and in her late 60s. She was endlessly dieting to get back her thin figure, which she believed she had to do to date successfully. But she would wind up binge eating as she escaped with cherry Garcia into rom com after rom com. Because Sandy saw many signs that she would never find love.
Sandy was a very successful therapist with an international reputation, yet she herself felt lonely, unattractive and like a nobody’s girl in her heart of hearts. Sandy started coaching with us while she was in a complete dating desert–with no guys at all. She did our powerful process fully and let go of those nasty self-sabotaging thoughts about being undesirable, too old, and too fat. Every time a sabotaging thought came up, she said stop in her mind and visualized a big red stop sign, Sandy gave herself the nickname, Saucy, Curvy Minx. Dressed the part and went on two sites.
In fact, she never lost any weight at all!
Now Sandy says, I’ve come to know Dr. Diana as the DIVINE DR. D. because she is quite the magician. She’s not really a magician with a magic wand, much as it seems that way, but has developed a unique set of techniques to shift the mindset for dating and finding lasting love. I’ve progressed from the occasional date to having 5 (!!) very appropriate and appealing men buzzing around me and quite interested! In her coaching you become your own fairy godmother and come to believe in your “Diamond Self” It’s such an exciting and fun process!
Just like Emma and Sandy, you can banish signs you will never find love from your mind. In fact, you can go on the greatest adventure of your love life.
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As a relationship expert, I've helped thousands of women get the love they want-even when it seemed impossible. I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. You might know me from my PBS Special, seen me on Oprah, or have read one of my bestselling books.
I want to do everything I can to give you hands-on personalized support that will make a lasting difference.
During your powerful and dynamic one-on-one session, we will help you with your unique relationship or dating situation. You'll walk away inspired, with a clear step-by-step path forward to move through any obstacles and get the love you want.
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"I was fifty-two years old with a career that was enviably successful. But my love life was not. And I couldn't figure out why. As my love mentor, Diana helped me understand that I not only deserved to have but could have a strong, loving life partner who would always be there for me. I found true love in three months! And after 4 plus years of marriage, my husband and I still pinch ourselves every day to make sure that it's not a dream!" - Midge Woolsey