Sex On The Third Date: Yes or No?
Sex on the Third Date: Yes Or No?
Do you ever wonder whether to have sex on the third date or risk losing the guy? Maybe you’ve heard the urban legend that tells you it’s either fish or cut bait at that point. And that he will definitely walk if you don’t put out. But isn’t it true that after only three dates you have no clue as to who this other person is? There is no way to know whether this guy is into you or not. Or if he is a player. Or if he actually will respect you more and want you more, if you hold off on having sex for longer than three dates! Read on and be sure to watch the video at the end.
Why Having Sex on the Third Date May Be Self-Sabotaging
Having sex drives up levels of the hormone, oxytocin, which in turn can create a strong biological attachment. Oxytocin has been called the cuddle, bonding, or tend-and-befriend hormone. Throughout the whole sexual act you will experience increases in this hormone. This means that your body may start the attachment process with almost anyone you bed, whether or not you know: a) if you like them; b) if they are the kind of partner you want; or, c) whether they want to be in a relationship with you.
In addition, rushing into an intimate relationship can cause the release of dopamine, which is the infatuation biochemical. This means your body may organize you to feel like you are wildly in love, even if this person is not someone who will be the kind of partner you truly want. It’s the number one mistake women make in dating.
Bottom line on Having Sex on Third Date:
Until you get to really know someone, it’s not manipulative if you hold off on sex. This is true for both men and women who are interested in a long-term relationship. It is not some secret agenda that you have to hide. Instead, it has to do with being clear about one’s relationship goals. And finding someone who is truly compatible and shares a similar vision.
The decision to wait is totally in line with the powerful Love in 90 Days Dating Program I describe in my dating advice book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. Our love mentor clients are having great success in finding soulmates online and off and creating true love and committed relationships. How? By first casually dating a few guys and not having sex with any of them. At the outset of dating a little kissing and canoodling is OK. Until they meet the right One. Even then they wait to have sex. When you follow this dating and mating advice, you be more likely to find the One. And then, you will have the juicy, true love connection that is not only passionate but feeds the soul.
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Dr. Diana Kirschner
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.
“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.