Four Ways You Can Overcome Shyness
Recent studies show that ninety percent of all communication is non-verbal.
So what you are NOT saying speaks volumes. Now you probably have been in a situation before where you seen your dream guy and you would love to approach him but just can’t. Most women have the same feeling, and generally speaking, they prefer for the man approach them. It’s really a situation where you have to overcome shyness.
So what can you do? People unconsciously give off signals, especially non verbal ones. If you are shy, the signals you are giving off aren’t the ones that you intend.
Chances are you are an attractive, highly intelligent woman who has a lot to offer the right man in her life, but you just haven’t met him yet. If you overcome shyness and refine your non-verbal skills you can improve the number of men who approach you for dates. Thereby, increasing the odds of finding the One. More importantly, you can direct your non-verbal cues to men you want to meet, letting them know you are available to be approached.
Four Tips to Overcome Shyness.
1. Make eye contact. I do not mean that direct stare that you see in the cheesy chick flicks. It should be a subtle glimpse in his direction, make eye contact, and then look away. This is especially effective when flirting with shy guys.
2. He will notice. Once he does, SMILE. This will give him an invitation to say hello to you. This also shows that you open and friendly. If he does not approach you then he is probably not interested. At least you will not be left wondering if you let an opportunity slip away.
3. Now let’s say you are lucky enough to chat with your dream hunk. Continue using your non verbal cues. First be attentive, let him know that you are listening to him and what he is saying. When you talk to him, touch him. A gentle touch on the arm shows that you are interested in him. And it’s a perfect way to overcome shyness.
4. Mirroring is another subtle method to create a feeling of bonding between two people. It naturally creates a feeling of rapport and trust. The trick here is to follow the other person’s movements with a 30-60 second delay. You do not want to be caught directly mimicking what he is doing. Behaviors that are OK to mirror include leaning forward, taking a sip of a drink, hand gestures when talking, tapping your foot, and facial expressions (smiling, raised eyebrows, or looking away).
Bottom Line for Overcoming Shyness
Keep in mind that if you are doing your best with non-verbal communication, but it just doesn’t seem to be working, then it may be time to change your focus. Try it with another guy to see how you do. It will take some practice to feel natural and at ease. But the effort you put into refining your non-verbal skills is well worth it.
Thank you Ashok for your dating tips on how you can overcome shyness.
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Dr. Diana Kirschner
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.
“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.