Overcoming Self-Doubt When Dating
When it comes to dating and romance many women suffer from self-doubt. The self-doubt may be based on a bad track record or negative experiences with lovers. Often, it leads to a sense of despair or hopelessness about meeting a real soulmate. Here is an email from Tatyana in Chicago who is working with Pamela, one of our awesome dating coaches:
I was struggling in a long distance relationship that was not healthy for me. In the beginning of love mentoring, I quickly realized that this type of relationship was a life-long dating pattern. My mentor, Pam helped me peel away at the years of fear and self-doubt that had been running my life and relationships.
How Dating Coaching Helps Overcome Self-Doubt
Now let’s take a closer look at self-doubt. Love is a perilous journey. On the way, we are wounded and filled with disappointments and pains. And, particularly for women, who tend to see themselves as the relationship-makers, this often means that we take these setbacks personally. A guy we are dating disappears on us or things go south in our relationship and we think there is something wrong with us. Was it something I said? Something I did or didn’t do? Am I too fat, too old, too shy and so on ad nauseum.
We can really do a hatchet job on ourselves and end up wallowing in self-doubt. Then the self-doubt triggers all kinds of isolating behaviors like not speaking our minds, not going out with friends or if we are single, pulling back from dating. Isolating then leaves alone with and increases our self-doubt and self-pity. Not a great place to be.
In my personal experience, a loving, caring coach can be very helpful in pulling us out of our self-doubt and isolation and into the light of empowerment. It’s very hard to do it on our own. Try as we might, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, cupcakes, aimlessly watching TV, Facebooking and texting don’t quite work to empower ourselves. But a strong loving mentor can see that we are just self-sabotaging ourselves with the same old fears and self-doubt. She understands and believes in what we really have to offer. And she can help us step out and claim the love that is coming our way.
Tatyana’s Experience in Mentoring
For 3 months, Pam coached me to break out of my hermit ways and encouraged me to date people I may not have considered previously. She gave me new insights in the world of dating and held me accountable when I started to relapse in some of my old ways. I now know for sure, if Pam hadn’t helped me, I would not have been prepared to meet my beloved. And that is exactly what happened. Two months into our work together, I met the One. It’s been over eight months and we are so happy!! Thank you, Tatyana.