10 Narcissist Red Flags to Watch Out For
Entering a new relationship can be exciting and filled with potential. However, it’s essential to keep an eye out for narcissist red flags to ensure you’re not getting involved with someone who will cause emotional distress. In fact, narcissistic individuals can make relationships toxic. By recognizing the warning signs early, you can protect yourself from unnecessary heartache.
In this post, we’ll discuss 10 narcissist red flags to watch out for in a relationship. We’ll also provide a case study of one our clients to help you better understand the signs.
Narcissist Red Flags: Excessive Need for Admiration
A narcissist constantly seeks admiration and validation from their partner. They crave compliments and often fish for them. For instance, your partner might say, “No one understands me like you do,” expecting you to agree and shower them with praise.
Narcissist Red Flags: Lack of Empathy
Narcissists struggle to show empathy for others. If you share your feelings or problems with them, they may dismiss them or make it about themselves. For example, when you’re upset about a challenging day at work, they might respond, “You think that’s bad? My day was even worse!”
Narcissist Red Flags: Grandiosity and Arrogance
A narcissist tends to exaggerate their accomplishments and may come across as arrogant. They believe they’re superior to others and deserve special treatment. For example, your partner might regularly brag about their achievements or expect others to admire them without question.
Narcissist Red Flags: Manipulation and Control
Narcissists often use manipulation tactics to maintain control in a relationship. They might use guilt, fear, or passive-aggressive behavior to get what they want. For example, if you plan a night out with friends, they might say, “I guess I’ll be all alone again while you’re out having fun.”
Narcissist Red Flags: Entitlement
Narcissists believe they’re entitled to special treatment and may have unrealistic expectations of their partner. They might demand constant attention and expect you to prioritize their needs above your own.
Narcissist Red Flags: Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the narcissist makes you doubt your perceptions and memories. They might deny saying or doing something hurtful or twist the facts to make you question your sanity. For instance, they might accuse you of being too sensitive or overreacting when you confront them about their behavior.
Narcissist Red Flags: Jealousy and Possessiveness
Narcissists often become jealous and possessive, fearing that their partner will find someone better. For example, they might monitor your whereabouts, question your loyalty, or become upset if you spend time with others.
Narcissist Red Flags: Love-Bombing
In the courtship phase, narcissists may shower you with love, attention, and gifts to make you feel special. This tactic, known as love-bombing, is designed to make you dependent on their affection. So once they’ve gained your trust, they may start showing their true colors.
Narcissist Red Flags: Blame-Shifting
A narcissist rarely takes responsibility for their actions and often blames their partner for any issues that arise. If you confront them about their behavior, they might accuse you of causing the problem or being overly sensitive.
Narcissist Red Flags: Triangulation
Narcissists sometimes use triangulation to create competition and drama in their relationships. For example, they might compare you to an ex-partner or flirt with someone in front of you to make you feel insecure.
Narcissist Red Flags: Elena’s Journey with a Narcissist
Now, let’s consider the story of Elena. Elena started dating Philip a few months ago, and everything seemed perfect in the beginning. Philip showered her with compliments, gifts, and affection, making her feel incredibly special. However, as time went on, she began noticing some concerning behaviors.
One night, Elena shared her feelings about a difficult situation at work. Instead of offering support, Philip dismissed her concerns and started talking about his problems, making it all about himself. Elena also noticed that Philip would constantly fish for compliments and become upset if she didn’t praise him enough.
Moreover, when she spent time with her friends, Philip became extremely jealous and possessive. He would send her numerous texts, questioning her loyalty and whereabouts. He even started accusing Elena of flirting with other men, although she had given him no reason to think so.
As the relationship progressed, Elena found herself questioning her own sanity. For example, Philip would often gaslight her by denying hurtful things he said or twisting the facts to make her doubt her perceptions. When Elena confronted him, he shifted the blame onto her, saying that Elena was overly sensitive and imagining things.
Finally, Elena decide to reach out to one of our relationship experts. The Love Mentor helped Elena understand the dynamics and red flags of a narcissistic relationship. Then, she guided Elena on how to set boundaries and prioritize her emotional well-being. As expected, Philip was not interested in a relationship where Elena’s needs were as important as his own. Freed from constantly worrying about Philip’s behavior, Elena went on the Program of Three. Today, she’s in a committed relationship with a guy who is genuinely crazy about her.
Narcissist Red Flags: Conclusion
It’s crucial to be aware of narcissist red flags in a relationship. By recognizing the warning signs, you can protect yourself from emotional distress and make informed decisions about your relationship. So don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance if you suspect you’re in with a narcissist. Just sign up on the side panel on this page for a free consultation.
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Hi, I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. My team and I have helped thousands of successful single women, including judges, famous shrinks, CEOs, philanthropists, Directors, professors, and celebrities like Hoda Kotb from The Today Show to find a high-quality man who understands, appreciates and cherishes them, and I'm confident we can help YOU too!
I'm a PBS Love expert and psychologist who has appeared on Oprah, the Today Show and in an Amazon Prime show, Love in 90 Days based on my bestseller Love in 90 Days. My work has been featured in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, ABC, People, and NPR.
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