This case studies post is an article by one of our Love Mentors®, Jim Delpino. Jim has been in private practice for 30+ years. He has helped many women learn the lovemaking secrets that lead to greater sexual fulfillment and passionate relationships.
In my practice I’ve found that most adults do not have a working knowledge of lovemaking secrets. They don’t know how to really pleasure themselves or their partner. And I’m not counting watching porn as an adequate resource. So read on about a couple who learned key lovemaking secrets on their way to a lasting passionate relationship.
Simone & Jordan Struggle in the Bedroom
Simone and Jordan had been married for thirteen years and enjoyed a wonderful lifestyle, as Jordan has a very successful career. They traveled the world and felt very blessed to be leading a life that was the envy of most of their friends. All seemed good at first glance, however in the bedroom things had not fared well. So Simone signed up for a free love mentoring session to discuss the lovemaking issues the couple had. Simone told Jordan she wanted him to attend sessions and he agreed.
In a private session with Simone, she shared with me that while she masturbated several times a day, she had never been able to have an orgasm with Jordan. Like many women she had never been able to express her sexual needs to her man. Also like many women she had been afraid of shattering his ‘fragile male ego’ in the bedroom and so she became adept at faking orgasm to please her husband. From her masturbatory experiences, Simone knew exactly what needed to change. Simone knew that the pace of lovemaking needed to be slowed and that the depth of penetration needed to be altered. But how would she present this information to Jordan?
Lovemaking Secrets 1. Simone Tells Jordan the Truth about their Lovemaking
We practiced several role plays until Simone was comfortable with the idea of discussing things with Jordan in a sexy, fun and alluring fashion. Her script turned out to be something like this: “You know baby how I love to be with you. You make me feel so wonderful and sexy. Lately I’ve been having this fantasy about you that makes me feel wild inside. You have always been a wonderful lover and so responsive to my needs. My fantasy is that you make me wait longer to have an orgasm, by going slower and not as deep inside of me. This kind of teasing will set me on fire and I think I will just lose control.”
Lovemaking Secrets 2. Prolonging Desire
This kind of sexual adjustment reminded me of the couple Anastasia and Christian in “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Once Anastasia allowed Christian power over her their sexual relationship blossomed. Jordan, like most good men wanted to please his woman. When I met with him, he shared Simone’s fantasy with me and felt as though he now had the keys to the kingdom. I reinforced with him the idea of building her desire and increasing her longing. This avoided the trap of injuring the fragile male ego and launched their love-making to great new heights. Jordan’s sexual confidence increased as he learned to make his multi-orgasmic wife shudder with pleasure at the thoughts of what he would do to her when he came home from work. An erotic interplay worthy of 50 Shades of Grey!
When Simone and Jordan became more emotionally involved and connected their “having sex” turned into hot erotic lovemaking. Their passion increased and they began to experiment with other ways to light the fire of their love.
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