Long Distance Relationships: Should I Move 3000 Miles?
The Complexity of Long Distance Relationships
Long Distance Relationships can be challenging. You meet a great person and it feels like a glorious, soulmate relationship. You are dreaming about an amazing future with this great match, who definitely feels like the One. Only problem is, he or she lives a long way away from where you are. And you are afraid that this will be the kiss of death for the whole relationship. Your fear is well founded. Long distance relationships have lots of built-in obstacles.
Seven Relationship Tips to Practice Before You Move
You wonder: Just how do you keep long distance relationships smokin’ hot so you can have the happiest-ever-after you are dreaming about? Here are seven relationship tips to practice BEFORE you pack up your belongings to be with the One. And please watch the video below for additional insight:
Long Distance Relationship Tip 1.
Bookend your days with connection. Each morning and every night make sure you talk with your Beloved on Skype, Zoom, or Facetime. Because eye contact creates oxytocin, the bonding hormone! This will cement you in as a regular part of their day.
Long Distance Relationship Tip 2.
Have phone or Skype sex at least twice a week. Nothing impedes long distance relationships from growing into something more permanent than the absence of physical contact. So try to act like a normal couple in the sexual arena. Hearing and seeing the sexy sounds and sights of each other in a hot mode will bring about bonding and generate good feelings about the relationship.
Long Distance Relationship Tip 3.
Text or call throughout the day so that you are in contact and talking about what is happening for each of you.
Long Distance Relationship Tip 4.
Take turns coming to stay with each other for at least a couple of days. During this time make sure you have a lot of fun and passionate sex, which releases more oxytocin. Over time make these visits longer so that you can see how you do as a couple when you are living together as opposed to living far apart.
Long Distance Relationship Tip 5.
If your Beloved has a crisis, drop everything and be as supportive as possible. Show him or her that they come first in your life.
Long Distance Relationship Tip 6.
Let’s say the long distance relationship is growing for a year or more in a way that feels more intimate, committed and nourishing. At that point, you could consider giving up the life you have in order to move in with your long-distance partner. Before you actually quit your job, give notice to landlord etc., work out a contract with your partner. For example, ask what he is willing to do to support you while you’re job hunting. Or what is your partner committed to in terms of making sacrifices to establish your new life together. With the least stress possible for you.
Long Distance Relationship Tip 7.
Sometimes long distance relationships seem to be progressing but moving in with the partner is not feasible. In that case, discuss with him or her what you would be willing to provide in terms of financial, emotional, networking, job search or other support if your partner would consider moving in with you or into housing together in your area. But even living together has its own issues. Research studies show there may be good reasons to wait before he makes an actual commitment.
Long Distance Relationship Video
Long distance relationships can work out to become very satisfying and committed arrangements. So give these tips an honest try and see if you and your Beloved can grow together despite the obstacles involved. If you need some outside help with the process, be sure to take advantage of a free coaching session to discuss the issues with an expert dating coach.
Now check out this video:
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Dr. Diana Kirschner
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.
“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.