Intentional Dating: Six Hacks to Finding Love

intentional datingIntentional dating is where you create your future love relationship. That creation is based on your own vision of what great love means to you!  In my experience, it is the most powerful way to go about finding a soulmate and the unique relationship of your dreams.  Here then, are 6 hacks to help you make it all happen.


What is your intention about creating love in your life? Think about this carefully.  What is the real calling of your heart?  I don’t want you to think about  what you usually spit out when friends ask you what you want in a relationship. I want you to dream big, outside the box and create your real intention as an affirmation, as if there were no limits.

State it in one sentence, in the present tense. For example,

  • I give myself a fulfilling relationship with a loving life partner who is surprisingly perfect for me in all ways.
  • Or, My loving spouse and I share a fulfilling life together including art, children, and service to the world.
  • Or, I have passionate lasting love with a man who is just right for me in every way.

Write your love intention and read it. Does it make you feel good? If not, tinker with it until you feel happy just imagining or thinking about it. Once you’ve created a love intention that’s just right for you, post it in your closet or in a place where you will see it every day. What we envision and put our attention on tends to come to us.  It is like placing an order with Divine Intelligence!



Sit upright in a comfortable position with a clock nearby. For ten minutes listen to your favorite uplifting music or meditate. Then for the next ten minutes, sit quietly, close your eyes, and use the love intention you created over and over again as a mantra. That is, softly say it in your mind without forcing. Pause for about fifteen seconds between repetitions of your love intention. When nagging doubts, negative self-talk, and other distractions intrude, simply observe them. Do not fight or resist them. Instead, just notice these passing clouds and gently return to the love mantra. Occasionally eye the clock to time yourself.

Note: If need be, shorten the love intention statement so that it is under ten words.

In fact, Mantra-based meditative processes have been repeatedly proven to de-stress and promote self-actualization in those who practice them. So give yourself an even better gift: practice your love meditation every day.

Intentional Dating Hack #3:  PUT THE WORD OUT

Put the word out to your family, friends, and co-workers that you are looking to meet a great guy. Tell them the gist of your love intention, e.g., “I am looking to get married to a wonderful man who want children.” Saying it aloud is a form of anchoring it in your mind. Initially it may be embarrassing or hard, but then it will get easier. Ask them who they know. Get at least three of them to promise to set you up. Then, follow up to make sure it happens.


Listen to a love song that inspires you. Imagine that you have found your life partner and the love you really want. Think about three different scenes or interactions between you and your partner in which you feel incredibly loved, grounded, or peaceful. Then write them down.

Iris, a marketing consultant and coaching client, created three love scripts.

First scene: We’re having a lazy morning, snuggling on white sheets and white pillows. We’re giggling, talking—really talking—laughing and he says so genuinely, “I could look at you forever.” He’s lovely, brown hair parted down the center, a little grey mixed in, a kind and handsome face. He’s tallish, broad-shouldered, cares about the world. Most of all, he is a good solid guy with a heart as big as they come but an uncommon wisdom. His default setting is to do the right thing even when it is hard.

Second scene: We’re standing talking and I tell him I’m pregnant. He scoops me up in his arms, lovingly, protectively. With my head against the hair on his chest, he says he’s so happy. Tears roll down my face. I tell him I’m so happy that he’s happy, and that I was worried. He looks at me and says, “I hate all those other men who led you to feel that way.”

Third scene: We’re in a village in Africa; we’re so happy working together for UNESCO or some other organization. He’s speaking to a villager in his native tongue. The man mentions that my heart is as large as my lovely bottom in a language I don’t understand yet. My man diplomatically says something to him that I’m his—and to back off in a good natured way. Whatever he does apparently defuses the situation and everyone has a good laugh.

Iris was able to meet and marry her true soulmate, and much that she writes about above came true!  Make a note of  your Inspiring Love Song and ideal love scenes so that they are foundational to your intentional dating.


Make a vision board that features inspiring photos of loving couples and the love future you are living into.  After every each and every date, no matter how disappointing it is, Put a STAR on the edges of your vision board!  Because, with each date  you are sorting through guys and getting  that much closer to priceless soulmate love!  You are moving ahead to your final goal of juicy soulmate love!!!

Intentional Dating Hack # 6: GET POWERFUL SUPPORT

I can see you succeeding right now, just using a few of these steps, my love!  So go for it intentionally—no need to suffer as you make your way to the love that meets the calling of your heart!  If you need more support, have a session with one of my amazing coaches.  It’s on me!  Or simply fill out the little form on the right-hand column.→→ →

Congratulations on taking action for your love life by using these 6 hacks!   No matter how much or little you have done, you are consciously working towards the love you so deserve!


find mr. right this year
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Tired of loneliness and disappointment in your love life or marriage? This will change everything...

As a relationship expert, I've helped thousands of women get the love they want-even when it seemed impossible.  I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. You might know me from my PBS Special, seen me on Oprah, or have read one of my bestselling books.

I want to do everything I can to give you hands-on personalized support that will make a lasting difference.

That's why I'm excited to offer a FREE 40 minute Breakthrough-to-Love-Coaching Session via Skype, Zoom or phone.

During your powerful and dynamic one-on-one session, we will help you with your unique relationship or dating situation. You'll walk away inspired, with a clear step-by-step path forward to move through any obstacles and get the love you want.

Here's what women like you are saying:

"My session was an incredible game-changer! I was finally able to see a way forward with my boyfriend and he has proposed!

I'm very grateful!" -Jenn in New Mexico

matchmaker, dating coach, dating tips, dating & relationship advice"I was fifty-two years old with a career that was enviably successful. But my love life was not. And I couldn't figure out why. As my love mentor, Diana helped me understand that I not only deserved to have but could have a strong, loving life partner who would always be there for me.  I found true love in three months! And after 4 plus years of marriage, my husband and I still pinch ourselves every day to make sure that it's not a dream!" - Midge Woolsey

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