If You Are Losing Hope About Love
Is your heart broken? Has your love life gone to crap? Do you simply feel like you are failing in your relationship or marriage? Or that it is failing you? In fact, are you finding it hard to believe in anything really working for you right now? If you are losing hope about love, I know what it’s like—I’ve been there.
When you are disappointed, left, abandoned or hurt and cheated on, it absolutely feels like midnight of the soul. Things go dark, everything looks gray, and it can be hard to find happiness in anything. Sometimes you overeat, or find it hard to eat or stay asleep.
But I want you to know that this hopeless mood can be totally turned around. And very quickly. Even though it seems absolutely impossible for you! Today I am sharing a new seven step mindset shift exercise that can change everything. In fact, these seven steps can take you from disappointment, darkness, hopelessness or despair to new hope and possibilities. And new happiness. I use it myself and it works. So let’s get started.
If You Are Losing Hope About Love Step One: Pick Out a Negative Thought that is Getting You Down.
So let’s look at some common self-defeating and self-sabotaging thoughts like: Nobody wants me; I’m unlovable; I’ll never find love because there is something wrong with me; There are no good men/women on the dating apps; my husband/wife does not love me; I am going to be alone and lonely for the rest of my life.
If You Are Losing Hope About Love Step Two: Imagine Your Upset as a Dark Cloud
Imagine that the disappointment, upset or hopelessness that is connected with that thought is in the form of a dark cloud. Close your eyes and in your mind picture the cloud.
If You Are Losing Hope About Love Step Three: Imagine the Cloud Expanding and Fading Away
Imagine that dark cloud expanding and dispersing. Expanding and expanding out and getting thinner and thinner, lighter and lighter. Close your eyes and see the image fading as it gets larger and larger
If You Are Losing Hope About Love Step Four: Make the Cloud Larger and Larger
Imagine that the cloud is super thin and light as it expands to the size of your city…. your country…. the world. Close your eyes and see it expanding there as it gets even thinner and thinner, lighter and lighter.
If You Are Losing Hope About Love Step Five: Take the Cloud Image Out into Space
So now imagine the cloud as big as the solar system…. the Milky Way…as big as the whole universe…. extending beyond the known universe. Close your eyes and take the image all the way into space.
If You Are Losing Hope About Love Step Six: Imagine You are an Observer in an Entirely Different Universe
Now, imagine you are in a different universe. Look over at the cloud and say, You are only a fiction created by my thoughts. Disappear Now. Close your eyes and do this last step and watch the cloud turn into nothing.
If You Are Losing Hope About Love Step Seven: Make a New Affirmation.
At this point, I’d like you to create a positive self-affirmation like: I see all the wonderful new possibilities for me. I’m free of the past and joyful about the future. I find a love and a life beyond my wildest dreams in a very surprising way. With the Divine all things are possible for me.
So these are seven powerful steps to turn your hopelessness into hope!
If You are Losing Hope About Love: The Case of Anita
Anita, one of our coaching clients, was herself, a therapist in her late 40s. She was enjoying a great relationship with a hottie she met on Tinder—who she saw as her true soulmate. Unfortunately, after four months he ghosted her. Nada. No text. Nothing. Not surprisingly, Anita fell apart emotionally; just sitting on the couch shoveling in the Krispy Kremes as she balled her eyes out. She was in despair and hopelessness about ever finding love. But luckily, she turned to us for coaching.
In fact, Anita’s coach had her do the Seven Step Mindset Shift Exercise to get rid of key negative thoughts and beliefs she had. For example, a prevalent hopeless-generating belief was that she was too old at age 50 to find love. Of course, she was also worried about her attractiveness (or lack of it!). Afraid of never finding love and ending up alone in a nursing home. So each time she envisioned the negative mindset cloud that had to do with the negative thought, Anita learned how to expand it and make it disappear into nothing. Next, she made a new affirmation from a new sense of personal freedom and hope.
So feel free to use them for yourself, if one resonates!
I’m now feeling a touch of heaven that leads me to love beyond my wildest dreams.
I’m in a surprisingly great, lasting soulmate relationship with a great guy who completely cherishes me in forever love.
In silence I attract love today
I courageously stay the course for lasting love that makes me happy and fulfilled in every way.
I’m safe and trust that steady forever love is mine.
I’m happy to say Anita is so much happier and more hopeful now! And she has gotten back out there and dating two very interesting guys!
So remember this exercise, use it and don’t quit before the miracle! But if you are losing hope about love and would like to discuss your unique situation with a professional, you can have a gift Breakthrough-to-Love session by phone, Zoom or Skype with one of my expert Love Mentor® coaches. I’m sure that you will get so much out of it.
Sign up for your Gift Breakthrough-to-Love Session Here!
As a relationship expert, I've helped thousands of women get the love they want - even when it seemed impossible. I’m Dr. Diana Kirschner. You might know me from my PBS Special, seen me on Oprah, or have read one of my bestselling books.
I want to do everything I can to give you hands-on personalized support that will make a lasting difference.
During your powerful and dynamic one-on-one session, we will help you with your unique relationship or dating situation. You'll walk away inspired, with a clear step-by-step path forward to move through any obstacles and get the love you want.
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“I was fifty-two years old with a career that was enviably successful. But my love life was not. And I couldn't figure out why. As my love mentor, Diana helped me understand that I not only deserved to have but could have a strong, loving life partner who would always be there for me. I found true love in three months!*. And after 4 plus years of marriage, my husband and I still pinch ourselves every day to make sure that it's not a dream!” ~ Midge Woolsey
Dr. Diana Kirschner
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.
“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.