My Husband Checks Out Other Women
It all started when you kept noticing that your husband checks out other women. And your jealousy just amped up from there. You may have made jabbing accusations, started a yelling match, sulked or made your partner pay in the bedroom. You felt justified, righteous; worried and sure that your partner was in the wrong.
What you really wanted was reassurance and love–the glorious unconditional kind. Sometimes you got it. Sometimes you didn’t. Sound familiar?
Most of us have had a few incidents with the monster called jealousy. We all know that jealousy can cause painful heartbreak, scads of worry and out-of-control outbursts. And it definitely can lead to emotional infidelity and outright affairs. So here 4 typical situations in which you catch your husband checking out other women. And when you’ve done reading be sure to catch the video at the end where I help a reader with this problem.
RELATED POST: JEALOUSY AND EMOTIONAL CHEATING
My Husband Checks Out Other Women: Situation 1
Let’s say your partner spends what seems to be an awfully long time laughing at some cutie’s jokes. That worried jealous feeling in your gut can serve to show you that your partner is desirable to you. We have a tendency to devalue anyone who wants to be in a club that would have us as a member. Plus after awhile of being in a relationship, the sparks tend to die down. So seeing someone validate your partner’s attractiveness is a good thing. It fans the sparks you still have for your partner. That flash of green in your eyes is a sign that you still care about and want him or her.
My Husband Checks Out Other Women: Situation 2
He’s talking to a hot girl and the waves of insecurities and negative self-talk roll over you until you’re practically drowning in them. She has such thin thighs….my thighs are fat…. She is so bubbly…and I am boring. He is smooth, knows what to say…. I never seem to make her happy.
My Husband Checks Out Other Women: Situation 3
If you see your partner paying attention to some well-kept, in-shape person, you may be jealous and angry. But also it’s an opportunity for you to reevaluate your priorities like going to the gym more regularly. If you see your partner flirting with a good-looking gal or guy, you may worry that they are headed for the nearest bedroom. What do these worries mean about you not your partner?
My Husband Checks Out Other Women: Situation 4
Your partner is paying someone a lot of attention, listening attentively or making eye contact. You think: I need more of that. More attention, more compliments, more affection, more sex.
My Husband Checks Out Other Women: The Fix
So definitely work on making it happen. When you are feeling jealous, think about what you might need from your partner. And use positive and straight talk to ask for it, both in and out of bed. For example, you might say, “Honey, I would love it if you would rub my shoulders and tell me how sexy my neck is.” If you are feeling loved and grounded in your relationship you are less likely to become jealous. If you are fresh from a night of passion and “I love you” you are the hottie and another person cannot compete!
What If You Can’t Turn Jealousy Around?
Of course, some of us have chronic and major struggles with jealousy. In fact, if you have the same scenario playing out over and over again where anger and fighting keeps erupting you may have a serious problem with the green-eyed monster. This often occurs if your partner has cheated on you in the past or if you are terribly insecure about your attractiveness to your partner. The type of saga may drag on with one lover after another. It results from picking players or people who are not into you or provoking good partners into unfaithfulness with your constant accusations.
Serious and chronic jealousy is a type of paranoia that destroys love. You might want to consider relationship coaching to learn how to turn your jealousy around. So be sure and watch the short vid below where I answer a reader’s concern that her husband checks out other women.
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As a relationship expert, I've helped thousands of women get the love they want-even when it seemed impossible. I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. You might know me from my PBS Special, seen me on Oprah, or have read one of my bestselling books.
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