As an independent, successful, loving woman, you have it going on. You shouldn’t have to settle with just anyone. You deserve a partner who is an equal. A man who is not only crazy about you but also smart and successful– who has that IT factor. So, apart from online dating and trying to run into guys outside office buildings … how to meet people to date that are the kind of men you want and deserve??

By networking!

Yep, the single best way to meet people to date is through networking. More specifically, going to events, classes and activities that successful men would like, such as golf, sailing, professional groups, business networking happy hours, investment classes, and so on. I call these mentastic activities!

Now, I know, what you’re thinking: That networking is tough. Striking up a conversation with a total stranger can be scary even for those of us who are very confident.

But it doesn’t have to be.

You can network like a pro, no matter how nervous you feel about it! So here are my five special hacks for how to meet people to date.

How to Meet People to Date: Imagine That The New Person Is Your Best Friend

Imagine meeting one of your best friends or a dear relative for dinner.  Think about how accepted and warm you feel, how comfortable, how real, and how relaxed you are.  Now imagine being that connected to the new person you’re talking to, a date, or a friend who is the latest addition to your network.

So try a little experiment: before you meet someone, close your eyes and think: this is a wonderful relative, or a best friend with whom I feel really comfortable and warm.  You will be more relaxed and this attitude in turn will put the person you’re with at ease as well.

How to Meet People to Date: Use a Ten Second Soundbite Intro

Research says you have from 6 to 30 seconds to make an impression on someone.  The most frequently asked question you will be asked is, “What do you do?”  The last thing you should say is “I’m an accountant,” or “I’m an actress.”  Generally, no one cares what you do for a living.  What you need to convey is how you can help them in ten seconds or less.  For that, you need to develop a personal soundbite. You want the person to be so intrigued that he/she must get to know you.   For example, an accountant or bookkeeper might say, “I help change people’s relationship to money.”   For example, an actress  could say, “I take people on vacations of the mind.”  A real estate agent could open up intrigue by saying, “I help people to live their lives in beauty and comfort.”

Your own unique soundbite will lead to a much richer opening conversation. Make it a part of any introduction.  Remember, you’re not just talking to one person; you’re potentially talking to a whole new network of family and friends.

How to Meet People to Date: Be Completely Focused on the Other Person

Create a positive memorable impression and a strong connection by completely focusing on the other person.  Ask questions and allow yourself to discover the special qualities of the person standing in front of you. Suspend your usual inner chatter or typical commentary.  Think of the delighted discovery of a mother seeing her infant for the first time.  For example, study the person’s face, eyes, listen to their voice, and notice what you truly like.

How to Meet People to Date: Be Generous Beyond Expectation

So this is the one-step technique that creates instant friendship. Be surprisingly and thoughtfully generous. You can do this even with a simple, heartfelt compliment;  make it specific and detailed. In return, you’ll almost always get a lot of warmth back and a sense of immediate connection. Generosity always comes back many times over.  Always.  Sometimes not in the way you expect. But it does.

How to Meet People to Date: Create A Home For Networking and Coupling

Create a place in which you are not embarrassed by your own clutter or dirt; an environment that is a warm, welcoming reflection of your Diamond Self.  Organize your stuff, paint, get a cool lamp, plant or throw.  No matter how big or small, make your home inviting to yourself and a man.

So, here’s your assignment: pick one networking event, new class, or activity to go to or try this week and use these techniques. Remember, if you want to meet a successful loving man, you can’t hide out at home hoping he’ll fall onto your front porch. You must take action!