How do you keep sexual chemistry juicy? That amazing, electro-magnetic feeling of physical attraction between two people, that turns on sensory receptors and causes a person to feel more alive.  The pull is to be close and touch, to caress and pleasure each other fully.  And finally, to lose the two separate selves and become one by surrendering together in an expanding wave of sexual union and orgasmic release. Sounds delicious, right? But how to keep sexual chemistry juicy in an established relationship even as you are together for years and years.

That is the challenge. And yes, it can be done!  How do I know? Because I’ve done exactly that in my own marriage. In fact, when things solidify in your relationship and you get to know each other’s likes and dislikes in the bedroom, you can find more fulfilling sex that creates even greater chemistry over time. So here are five proven ways for how to keep juicy, passionate love that gets hotter and hotter.

How to Keep Sexual Chemistry Juicy Tip #1:  In an established relationship, be sure to make time for sex

As a relationship begins to solidify and grows to the commitment stage and then, perhaps marriage, sexual chemistry has to be cultivated and kept alive. Healthy couples kindle and rekindle their chemistry.  This starts with fulfilling each other’s sexual needs regularly.  Healthy couples do not let sex fall to the bottom of the To-Do list.  They make time to have sex, no matter how busy they are.  Because they know the rule: If you don’t use it, you lose it!

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How to Keep Sexual Chemistry Juicy Tip #2:  Switch things up in the bedroom

Falling in love produces the brain chemical dopamine. And novel activities keep that dopamine infatuation going.  So vary the places you make love, change the way you set the stage through flirting, candle lighting, a bubble bath, feathers, sex toys, whipped cream or new kinds of lingerie, or sexy outfits. You can have fun reading erotic stories, magazines and comics or watching erotic movies together.  Share fantasies. Don’t worry, only about 95% of people report having sexual fantasies.  Start off slowly and just describe a fantasy about the two of you.  Begin the story and ask your Beloved to end it.  And if a “quickie” happens be sure to enjoy it!

Take it all as fun and games. This adds even more bonding and relaxation with each other and opens the door to more chemistry.

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How to Keep Sexual Chemistry Juicy Tip #3:   Learn what works best for you and ask for it!

Ultimately you are responsible for knowing your body and creating the conditions for your own sexual pleasure. Find an undisturbed place where you playfully touch and stimulate different parts of your body and learn about what sensations feel good to you. A good vibrator can be very helpful in learning about what stimulation will bring you to orgasm.  The more you know about your own body the better you and your lover will be able to please you.   Guide him by saying positive things like, “I love it when you stroke my breast gently.”  Or “I would love you to use your magic mouth on my tummy and work your way down.”

How to Keep Sexual Chemistry Juicy Tip #4: Learn what works best for him

In order to learn what works for him, try touching, massaging, licking or stimulating all the different parts of his body.  Observe and ask him questions about what feels good.  Try different sexual acts, variations in intercourse positions and most importantly, oral sex.  Virtually all men adore oral sex.  If you have a problem with this, consider the fact that if your man showers, chances are his mouth has more germs than his penis does!

How to Keep Sexual Chemistry Juicy Tip # 5:  Be fully satisfied

In the end, you can achieve satisfaction, orally, manually or through intercourse. Satisfying sex releases endorphins, which elevate mood and lower stress and pain levels. So after having sex each partner associates feeling good with the other. Testosterone, the sexual hormone engine for both men and women, also generates feelings of connection.  And finally, having sex drives up levels of oxytocin which explains why for many men, having sex is usually synonymous with feeling intimate and close.

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How to Keep Sexual Chemistry Juicy: Next Steps

If you or your partner has problems in the sexual arena first try breaking through your barriers on your own. Otherwise, if you feel you need help, sign up for a complimentary coaching session by phone, Zoom or Skype.

If your partner has erectile dysfunction there are medications available that have been very effective. Don’t let a physical problem prevent either of you from having sex.  Check with your physicians.  Treat this problem as you would diabetes or any other serious illness. It will be well worth it.

Good, frequent sex promotes your own health, that of your man and the vitality of the relationship. Research shows that good sex with your partner is correlated with a reduced incidence of breast cancer in women who have never had a child, more restful sleep, pain relief, elevation of mood, looking younger, overall fitness, longevity and happiness! So keep your sexual chemistry juicy!