How to Get a Guy to Like You: What Men Love

how to get a guy to like you

How to Get a Guy to Like You: The Psychology of Men in Love

You may be seriously interested in a new man you met socially or through a digital connection, but you wonder, how to get a guy to like you?  No matter how old you are, whether you are in your 30s,40s, 50s or 60s, you may still be wondering about this question. Dating is often like being in high school all over again!  Because, no matter what age you are, it is still very hard to understand the whole secret psychology of men in love.

First of all, let me be clear on one thing—you can’t make anyone like or love you.  It is either there or it isn’t. But you can optimize the chances that the magic will happen.  In our vast experience working with tens of thousands of single women we have found five great ways to allow a guy to see your real, best self and to get chemistry going. and after you read the post, be sure to watch the video on how to get a guy to like you.

How to Get a Guy to Like You-Tip #1: First You Have to Like Yourself.

You have to like yourself and feel confident first and foremost. This simple truth bears repeating! Liking yourself is key because it allows you to relax, be real and have fun! Everyone is interesting when they are real, because they can be fully present, playful, self-expressed, funny and flirty. You can share your own unique humor, your cute little gestures, your amusing quirks, and your true warmth.

In fact, liking yourself helps the guy you are interested in to be relaxed and have fun with you too.  He will feel good around you and have a great time. He can truly appreciate you and to choose to be with you.  When you ask men why they chose to marry their wives, they most often say, because I feel good around her!

The Diamond Self Process and Liking Yourself

Of course, liking yourself may be hard if you are feeling anxious and shy around the guy to begin with! This is where what I call the Diamond Self work comes in.  You can access true self confidence by working on yourself at the level of identity. Recent research shows that there is no such thing as a fixed structure in the brain that represents self!  The “I” or personal identity you think is permanent is actually a process in your neural network that is always in flux. Joe Dispenza, a researcher, describes the process:

You are a work in progress. The organization of brain cells that makes up who you are is constantly in flux.  Forget the notion that the brain is static, rigid and fixed. Instead, brain cells are continually remolded and reorganized by our thoughts and experiences….nerve cells can be seen as dancing patterns of delicate electric fibers in an animated web, connecting and disconnecting all the time.  This is much closer to the truth of who you are.

So there is a constant play of brain structures that represent your identity!  Your brain and its neural networks are that malleable.  What this means is that you can train and thereby change your brain’s image of self, including its physical representation of you, which is your body image.  You can do this by deliberately adding a picture of a new you, your Diamond Self, into the constantly changing energy flow of identity. The result: Liking yourself!

How to Get a Guy to Like You Tip #2: Give Yourself a Diamond Self Nickname

To activate your Diamond Self Identity and create the “you” that you like—simply do what the celebrities do all the time—rename yourself!  This about what you really appreciate and admire about yourself, your personality, your heart and soul.  Be playful and grand and give yourself an empowering, self-loving, lovable nickname.  Here are some examples to get you thinking:

Beloved Mighty Isis

Amazing Grace

Enchanting Goddess of Light

Sparkalicious Susie

Vivacious Vixen

Saucy Minx

Irresistible Jewel

Princess of  Inner Sparkle

You get the idea!  So go ahead and play with a Diamond Self name for you!  Jot it down.  Post it where you will see it every day—which will anchor it in..   Your closet is a great place to anchor in your Diamond Self name!

How to Get a Guy to Like You Tip #3: Change Your Wardrobe

I want you to go shopping and buy some clothes and inexpensive jewelry that reminds you of your Diamond Self!  Dress the part of Sparkalicious Susie or Vivacious Vixen!  Have fun with this!  Make sure that you choose some red clothes.  In research studies men consistently rate women who wear red as more attractive.  There is a shade of red that flatters every skin tone—you can look for a more  orange-red or a purple-red that works with your skin tone.

A scoop top that shows some décolletage also is seen as more attractive by guys.  In addition, research shows that women who have an hourglass figure are rated as more beautiful.  But you don’t have to be Angelina Jolie!  A great belt and a good bra can give you the hourglass effect.  Try it!

How to Get a Guy to Like You Tip #4: Flirt

Even if you area shy, there are many ways to flirt and have fun with a guy!  Here are a few of them:

-Smile and make eye contact

-Touch your chin, chest or face.

-Be affectionate—hug, kiss on the cheek when you see him.

-Touch his arm when you are speaking

-Ask him for help. Then, appreciate and validate his help. Remember, that asking for help takes him back to our biological origins, with the cave  man being the provider in a pair bond. Men love to be of assistance to women.

There are more flirting tips in Love in 90 Days. And read this post if you want to know how to approach a shy guy.

How to Get a Guy to Like You Tips #5: Be Ready to Cut Bait and Move On

Once again, I want you to remember that you can’t make anyone like or love you. You can do these things so that a guy knows the real you better and sees that you are interested.  But if you do all of these things with a guy you like and he is not acting more interested, affectionate or flirty, or not asking you out on date, move on! We are in age of abundant love where 200 million people are doing online dating each month, all over the world! Believe me, here are plenty more partners available—who will like you, a lot!


The Case of Loni

For example, Loni, a 50-something sales woman came into our coaching program, fixated on Ken,  a guy in her office. It seemed, that Ken was possibly interested, but was too shy to approach her.  Loni wasn’t sure how strong to come on to him or what to do.  And she was in a gray zone waiting to see what happened with him for a whole year.

When Loni came into coaching, her coach showed her how to use all the techniques in this article.  So Loni changed her clothes, flirted, and made eye contact with Ken.  Nevertheless, he didn’t respond!  Loni’s coach encouraged her to get out there and date to break free of her Ken fixation.  Almost immediately, Loni met a guy who really appreciated her. In fact, she is having the time of her life dating him. At last, she feels chosen and wanted for who she really is.

Like Loni, you deserve a love that makes you happy! If you feel smitten with someone and wondering how to get the guy to like you, take advantage of a gift session with one of my expert dating coaches by phone or Skype!  Even one session can be so very helpful to allow you to know what the next right action is with this particular guy.

Here is a juicy video on How to Get a Guy to Like You.  Enjoy!


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Are you a successful woman who is tired of having NO good men to date?  THIS  is for you!

Hi, I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. My team and I have helped thousands of successful single women, including judges, famous shrinks, CEOs, philanthropists, Directors, professors, and celebrities like Hoda Kotb from The Today Show to find a high-quality man who understands, appreciates and cherishes them, and I'm confident we can help YOU too!

I'm a PBS Love expert and psychologist who has appeared on Oprah, the Today Show and in an Amazon Prime show, Love in 90 Days based on my bestseller Love in 90 Days.  My work has been featured in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, ABC, People, and NPR.

I specialize in helping high-caliber women create feminine self-confidence, dating success, and passionate love matches.

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