How to Flirt When You’re Shy
Flirting is one of the secrets to an amazing relationship.
People sometimes see flirting as “bad” or “manipulative,” but the reality is it’s just about being playful, complimentary and fun in the company of someone else. Flirting can be a complete encounter in and of itself; it doesn’t mean you have to go any farther.
Good flirting is a win-win. It boosts your self esteem and helps you see the lighter, happier side of life. And it helps the person you’re with feel great about themselves!
Learning How to Flirt is so Important
1. It makes YOU feel good about yourself. And when you feel good about yourself, you’re instantly more attractive! People who are enjoying themselves tend to draw in more people and experiences to enjoy!
2. Men are often insecure and need clear ‘go’ signals from women. Flirting gives your date or partner clear “go” signals that you find him attractive.
3. Flirting keeps the spark alive in an existing relationship. It’s a kind of mind foreplay that keeps you in the great feminine/masculine dance. And it shows your partner that you still find him attractive. I love to flirt with my husband and we’ve been married for decades.
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So how you flirt is key especially when you’re feeling a little bit shy or unsure. I bet you didn’t know that shyness is actually cute to many guys! If you’re nervous, blushing or shy, embrace it. This kind of energy is particularly endearing and attractive.
In this video, I share some EASY flirting techniques that will help you break free of any shyness and get a shy guy to open up.
How to Flirt Better by Overcoming Shyness
As I said in the video, you can actually get rid of shyness altogether! Here’s the ultimate secret to getting out of your shyness shell.
First of all, when you’re feeling shy, notice that it’s a sign that your attention is inwardly focused on YOU. You’re focused on something that is “not good” about you right now or on how “bad,” “inadequate” or “unattractive” you think you’re going to be if you say or do something. The key to feel more confident in that moment is to put your attention OUTWARD. Focus in on something about the other person — like the guy’s great eyes, his beautiful briefcase, or even the meal you’re eating. And then make some juicy comments about that. Such as, “Wow, you have the most amazing eyes.” Or, “I love your shirt, where did you get it?” Or, “This is the most savory, yummy dish.” Those flirting comments will get him to respond positively. And then build from there into more fun and bold flirting.
This is also key when you’re with a guy who is on the shy side. More reserved guys tend to give almost no “go” signals in the beginning. So that makes you feel even more self-conscious. If you put your attention outward on HIM and make a positive comment about whatever you’re noticing about him – you’re inviting him to relax out of his shyness.
Flirting successfully involves having a conversation about what you have in common. That allows the guy to focus outside himself so that he will relax more. Have you ever noticed how when one person looks toward the sky, other people follow with curiosity? That’s exactly what happens when you put your awareness outward!
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How to Flirt: 16 Flirting Moves to Try out.
1. Make eye contact and smile. If he makes lingering or repeated eye contact back, he is probably interested.
3. Look at him, look away, look back.
4. While sitting, cross your legs and jiggle your foot in his direction.
5. Touch him lightly on the arm, shoulder or neck.
6. Touch your lips, neck or chest.
7. Play with your hair, clothing or an object.
8. Whisper in his ear.
9. Give him a mini-massage.
10. Laugh at his jokes.
11. Compliment him.
12. Say his name a lot; give him a complimentary nickname.
13. Ask open-ended questions.
14. Ask for help with something.
15. Ask what he likes to eat or what sports, hobbies, or movies he likes. Once you find something in common, ask him if he’d like to do it some time.
16. When leaving, say you’d like to see him again.
RELATED POST: HOW TO FLIRT WITH A SHY GUY
If you need help with learning how to flirt, how to exude irresistible confidence or to attract really terrific guys, please take advantage of my gift to you. I will personally match you with an expert dating coach for a free session.
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Dr. Diana Kirschner
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.
“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.