How to Find Your Soulmate: 10 Creative Actions

how to find your soulmate
Wondering just how to find your soulmate?   I’ll make it really easy for you.   In fact, I’m going to show you how to use your creativity to develop a powerful Soulmate Intention. This intention will help you replace knee-jerk pessimism with hopefulness, clarity and right action in actualizing your vision of the kick-A love you want.

So now let’s concentrate on the place that makes it all happen.

Your imagination

As George Bernard Shaw wrote,

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire; you will what you imagine; and at last you create what you will.”

How to Find Your Soulmate: Tapping into Your Creativity

I am going to teach you how to use your creativity to find and plug into a Soulmate connection filled with heart fulfillment and joy.  I know, you don’t really think you have much creativity!  Not to worry, in the next section you will be brainstorming about thoughts, images, and feelings that have to do with your best partner. This process, in and of itself, will start to retrain your focus.  Then, once you finish brainstorming, you will combine those thoughts and feelings into a single Soulmate Intention that is one sentence long.

How to Find Your Soulmate:  Brainstorming a Vision of Just-Right-For-You Love

As you approach the vast ocean of online and offline  dating, the key question to ask yourself is: What would it be like to be with my true Soulmate? This is your main brainstorming question. You have to know who you are looking for, because you are going to be sorting through lots of guys quickly to find him. I will be giving you all the tools you need to do that in other articles.  But you have to be clear in order to find the love that feels like you have come home…that makes you feel chosen, cherished, and head over stilettos in love.

There is no need to be shy or embarrassed about what you want or how realistic it may seem to you. Be honest with yourself and let yourself picture your ideal life with your Soulmate. Above all, you DECIDE what kind of Soulmate calls to you. Emotionally. Intellectually. Physically. Spiritually. And as a Life Partner.

How to Find Your Soulmate: What Would It Be Like Emotionally?

Do you yearn to:

  • Create a sense of coming home, a WE-ness with a shared connection and trust that deepens over time?
  • Feel peaceful, settled, relaxed and just able to be yourself?
  • Express your REAL thoughts and feelings and feel completely understood?
  • Be able to wipe away your bitterness and pain from the past?
  • Feel like you are with your absolute BFF?

 How to Find Your Soulmate: What would it be like Intellectually?

Do you yearn to:

  • Be able to brainstorm, plan and do things EASILY together?
  • Finish each other’s sentences?
  • Feel understood, like you get each other completely?
  • Discover how clever or witty YOU really are?
  • Help each other manifest dreams that have meaning and passion?

 How to Find Your Soulmate: What would it be like Physically?

For example:

  • Feel like you are having an affair, with mad attraction and passion that grows over time?
  • Have your sensual and sexual NEEDS MET with some 50 Shades of Grey panache?
  • Share tender eye contact, caring touch, holding and sweet affection?
  • Fit and mold together like two connecting puzzle pieces?

How to Find Your Soulmate: What would it be like Spiritually?

Do you yearn to:

  • Feel like your partner was sent by God or your Higher Power?
  • Relax in the knowledge that your relationship is protected and strengthened by God or your Higher Power?
  • Experience unseen hands helping you navigate the rocky times you may encounter?
  • Have a sense of a shared spiritual or religious mission?

How to Find Your Soulmate: What would it be like As Partners in Living?

For Example:

  • Share or feel free of financial burdens and responsibilities?
  • Have help in parenting your children (especially your problem kids)?
  • Hand over pain-in-the-butt household chores so that you have more time to relax or enjoy yourself?
  • Plan for life ADVENTURES small and large?
  • Partner in a work or leisure activity (start a cupcake business, ride bikes in the woods, or work a spiritual program together)?
  • Be on a shared mission to make a real difference in the world together?

How to Find Your Soulmate: Write down the thoughts that inspire you

Firstly, brainstorm and write down those special thoughts about finding a Soulmate that inspire you.  So that you feel good or great when you think about them.

Secondly, once you’ve answered the questions, write down the most important answer from each of the five sections. Emotionally: What is the key element? Intellectually: What’s most important? Physically: Is it affection or sensuality? What aspects really matter? Spiritually: What calls to your soul the most? As Life Partners: What stands out for you? Lastly, look at your answers. Maybe only two or three of them are really critical to you.  Either way it’s great because you are now ready to craft your intention.


How to Find Your Soulmate: The Story of Chloe

Let me tell you about Chloe, a successful 41-year-old legal secretary, who had recurrent dreams about a soulmate lover.  She writes,

  He came to me in the middle of a restless night.

      His seeking lips, his hands trembling with gentle urgency. I held back and stiffened, but my renegade hands took on a life of their own, exploring the solid sculpted terrain of his back and shoulders. The touch of his fingertips filled me with sweet sensations, irresistible quivers. His intoxicating smell gave me seismic pleasures that shook me, sent walls cracking, falling, chunks of myself, my rigid vigilant cage, tumbling away in sweet surrender. With one timeless kiss he took me where there were no walls; only delicious rivulets, the divine co-mingling of Soulmates, male into female into male.

Then it was all over. Chloe woke up from her wondrous Soulmate dream and made herself a K-Cup of espresso.  As the caffeine kicked in she decided that it was time for her to get over the heartbreak of Gil and the fresh wound of having been dumped for a 24-year-old babe.

Chloe Takes Action

Yes, Chloe decided.  I am going to find the guy in my dreams.  Bravely, she started her iPad and googled ‘online dating sites.’

165 million responses came up.

Holy crap! How can I possibly figure this out?  Chloe took another sip and shook her head, scowling. Chloe knew she had to figure out what really mattered to her in a relationship.  So she had a coaching session with one of my expert Love Mentors. In the free session, Chloe came up with three must-have characteristics of a Soulmate relationship. It had to be passionate, feel like she was coming home and it had to be a true life partnership. Chloe crafted a Soulmate Intention that sent shivers down her back:

My Soulmate and I are completely at home with each other and enjoy a passionate, loving life partnership.

And Chloe’s life began to shift!  More later.

Everyone has a different Soulmate intention. For some people it is very much about chemistry and mad-joy passion.  For others it is mainly about emotional security, trust and the  comfort and pleasure of nesting together.  What is it for you?

How to Find Your Soulmate: Create a Can’t-Miss Soulmate Intention

When you find an imagined state of affairs with images, sounds, and feelings that are right for you, it’ll call to you. You’ll feel it. You may laugh or cry, or both.

  • Build your Soulmate intention from this imagined state of shared joy—from pure possibility not with any idea of whether you can or cannot do it—even if you feel that it’s totally impossible!
  • In fact, make your Soulmate intention a statement about your love life as if it were happening right now.

Imagining your love life from pure possibility allows the brain to perform a mental rehearsal of what it expects to find in the online frontier.  Then as you practice your Soulmate Intention over time your brain will create new and greater numbers of neural connections so that thoughts having to do with making an intimate relationship become associated with the intention. The net result is a more powerful “muscle’ around creating a love that is just right for you. And this strength will help your online dating journey become so much easier to navigate.  You will be amazed at how alert you are to small and subtle signs in men’s photos, profiles and emails. And therefore to how quickly you find your true Soulmate.

How to Find Your Soulmate: Imagine There are No Limits

Now go ahead and craft your Soulmate Intention as a statement created as if there were no limits.  A simple global statement that you make regardless of your present real-life circumstances. Make sure, to state your intention in one sentence, in the present tense.  Because this will retrain your brain to look for, find and create the Soulmate love you are intending.  For example:

  • I meet and marry my true Soulmate who fulfills me emotionally, intellectually and physically.
  • I have a committed loving, passionate, monogamous life partnership with my Soulmate.
  • My devoted Soulmate companion goes on adventures with me.
  • I joyously marry the Soulmate who is sent by God.
  • My loving Soulmate and I share a passionate happy life together including children and service to the world.
  • My Soulmate and I understand each other completely and help each other manifest our dreams.

If it feels great to think your Soulmate Intention, then it is right on target. If it’s scary, that’s good too. An intention that is at the edges of what you believe is possible will ultimately lead to a great, soulful adventure as you fulfill it.

How to Find Your Soulmate:  How to Have Your Soulmate Intention Manifest

So go ahead and write down your Soulmate Intention and put it up in a private area where you can look at it with your full attention for a few moments every day.

To help Soulmate love come into your life more quickly, bookend your days by putting your full attention on your Soulmate intention for just a few seconds when you wake up and before you fall asleep.  Don’t try to think or say it assertively.  Simply put your full attention on it for a few seconds as if you were looking at a glorious rose or sun-splashed meadow.  This is how you can make intentions manifest–by not trying (surprising but true).  Aim to make this a simple habit, like brushing your teeth. Creating and focusing on an intention sets you in motion toward your love goal and doesn’t take much effort.  But the results can be amazing.

How to Find Your Soulmate: Practice Even if Your Down

I know that at times you will still feel hopeless or down. That’s OK.  In fact, it’s more than fine to feel whatever you are feeling.  But just know, that your intention will work. Over time, you will appreciate more and more how absolutely unique and wonderful you are, in your own delicious, amusing, and brilliant way.  And how much you deserve to be cherished and adored by a Soulmate.

Soulmate Intentions almost never play out the way you expect. Instead, they manifest as delightful surprises. Continue to practice, and, while there will be obstacles on your online dating journey, there are magical times ahead when the love you will receive is better than you ever imagined.


How to Find Your Soulmate:  Chloe’s Happily-Ever-After

So remember Chloe?  Her Soulmate Intention was My Soulmate and I are completely at home with each other and enjoy a passionate, loving life partnership.  Four months into her coaching sessions, Tom appeared.  He was a bit older, a lawyer who was 50, but he had a vintage Porsche 911.  He was crazy about his dog.  More than that, Tom was even crazier about Chloe.

When they talked, no matter where, from Starbucks to the top of the Empire State Building, time stood still and everything stopped.  Her heart and mind were riveted by him. More intoxicating than that, the touch of Tom’s fingertips on her back filled her with sweet sensations, irresistible quivers and made her tingle.

While Chloe held back from sex with him for three months,  Tom just wanted her all the more.  During that time they sailed off into the countryside in the Porsche, ran with the dogs in the meadow, took in fascinating antique car shows, dined at candlelit hole-in-the-wall restaurants and shared a passion that was going to blow the lid off.

Nine months later Chloe married her Tom at an ornate and rambling estate overlooking the Atlantic Ocean.  Her coach, who got to attend the wedding, wept as Chloe was driven up in a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud.  Scotty, the Dane, was a ring bearer. Then, they exchanged hand-written vows sharing their Soulmate commitments to each other.  In fact, just like Chloe, you can succeed in finding your soulmate!


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Are you a successful woman who is tired of having NO good men to date?  THIS  is for you!

Hi, I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. My team and I have helped thousands of successful single women, including judges, famous shrinks, CEOs, philanthropists, Directors, professors, and celebrities like Hoda Kotb from The Today Show to find a high-quality man who understands, appreciates and cherishes them, and I'm confident we can help YOU too!

I'm a PBS Love expert and psychologist who has appeared on Oprah, the Today Show and in an Amazon Prime show, Love in 90 Days based on my bestseller Love in 90 Days.  My work has been featured in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, ABC, People, and NPR.

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