How to Date When You Want Kids Now
When You Want Kids Now
Do you feel your biological clock is ticking? Yet you haven’t met the right person to have kids with?
You’ve always wanted children. You figured it was a given that you’d meet the right guy, get married and start a family. Every time you worried it might not happen, you told yourself that marriage and pregnancy were likely just around the corner.
After all, you’ve always gotten what you wanted when it came to your career and goals. You pursued them relentlessly until it worked out.
Yet, here you are, approaching that age when you’re starting to worry it’s getting too late to have children. Your biological clock is ticking.
Lack of Progress in Dating Increases the Pressure
Naturally, you find yourself increasingly stressed when it comes to dating. With every dating and relationship disappointment you lose more hope. And then you wonder, how do you approach the topic of wanting kids? Will it scare him off if you tell him how much you want a baby? Is it better to lay it all on the table or play coy? Should you broach the topic sooner or later?
If this resonates with you, I want you to know you’re not alone. In our Coaching Program, we’ve worked with many of women in this position. And many have gone on to have children! The key is you must know how to balance wanting children and being detached.
You see, attachment to an outcome—any outcome—usually creates a lot of suffering. When you’re very attached to having a child, this is usually the case. You find yourself more and more anxious. And you’re likely giving off an anxious vibe to the men you meet.
Cultivate Detachment When you Feel like the Biological Clock is Ticking
So it’s very wise to cultivate an attitude of detachment about the whole getting pregnant ASAP thing. This does not mean that you do not take right action! On the contrary, sometimes taking right action—for example, exploring freezing your eggs or adopting—can be very helpful in creating emotional serenity about the whole topic of becoming a mom.
For example, one of the women we’re coaching recently started exploring freezing her eggs and noticed that just taking the steps to explore this has made a dramatic difference in her dating. It’s taken the pressure off. She’s been able to have more fun and live in the moment with guys. In turn, she’s attracting more potential partners.
Turn Over Your Biological Clock to the Universe
So how do you create detachment, or as they say in a 12-step program, “Turn it over”? Here I recommend turning to the Divine or your concept of God. Imagine handing your pregnancy wishes and dreams into the hands of whatever Higher Power speaks to you. You can set up what is often called a God Box in order to turn over the issue t o the Divine. Write down a love affirmation that calls to you, like:
“I trust the Divine to bring me to a glorious outcome regarding having children.”
“God, it is all in your hands regarding me having children. Thanks for giving me joy in this arena!”
“Infinitely Loving Divine Presence, thank you for blessing me beyond measure! I have a surprisingly fulfilling and joyful life as a parent and partner.”
Then put your affirmation in the God Box and say, “Thank You!”
You will be very surprised to see your affirmation manifest in an amazing way!
What to Say to Him
Now, when it comes to weeding out potential partners, I recommend that you feel him out in a low pressure way. You might say something like, “I’m surprised you and your ex didn’t have kids?” Or, work it into the conversation in a way the conveys you want kids but you aren’t just looking for a baby daddy. For example, “I definitely want kids. But I want to find the right person first and foremost.” And see what he says.
If he runs, he is doing you a favor. Otherwise he would have wasted your precious time. Remember spending too much time on the wrong guys who don’t have similar life goals will only delay you finding the right One.
Do you feel like your biological clock is ticking and time is running out to have kids? Getting stressed with dating? We’re here to help you. So become a regular reader of the our free dating and relationship advice newsletter. And if you’re struggling and need immediate help take advantage of a complimentary dating strategy session with one of our expert coaches. It can change your life.
Sign up here for a powerful gift!
BREAKTHROUGH-to-LOVE Premium Coaching Session!
Limited time offer- Free
As a relationship expert, I've helped thousands of women get the love they want-even when it seemed impossible. I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. You might know me from my PBS Special, seen me on Oprah, or have read one of my bestselling books.
I want to do everything I can to give you hands-on personalized support that will make a lasting difference.
During your powerful and dynamic one-on-one session, we will help you with your unique relationship or dating situation. You'll walk away inspired, with a clear step-by-step path forward to move through any obstacles and get the love you want.
Here's what women like you are saying:
"My session was an incredible game-changer! I was finally able to see a way forward with my boyfriend and he has proposed!
I'm very grateful!" -Jenn in New Mexico
"I was fifty-two years old with a career that was enviably successful. But my love life was not. And I couldn't figure out why. As my love mentor, Diana helped me understand that I not only deserved to have but could have a strong, loving life partner who would always be there for me. I found true love in three months! And after 4 plus years of marriage, my husband and I still pinch ourselves every day to make sure that it's not a dream!" - Midge Woolsey