How to Date When You Want Kids Now

biological clock is tickingWhen You Want Kids Now

Do you feel your biological clock is ticking? Yet you haven’t met the right person to have kids with?

You’ve always wanted children. You figured it was a given that you’d meet the right guy, get married and start a family. Every time you worried it might not happen, you told yourself that marriage and pregnancy were likely just around the corner.

After all, you’ve always gotten what you wanted when it came to your career and goals. You pursued them relentlessly until it worked out.

Yet, here you are, approaching that age when you’re starting to worry it’s getting too late to have children. Your biological clock is ticking.

Lack of Progress in Dating Increases the Pressure

Naturally, you find yourself increasingly stressed when it comes to dating. With every dating and relationship disappointment you lose more hope. And then you wonder, how do you approach the topic of wanting kids? Will it scare him off if you tell him how much you want a baby? Is it better to lay it all on the table or play coy? Should you broach the topic sooner or later?

If this resonates with you, I want you to know you’re not alone. In our Coaching Program, we’ve worked with many of women in this position. And many have gone on to have children! The key is you must know how to balance wanting children and being detached.

You see, attachment to an outcome—any outcome—usually creates a lot of suffering. When you’re very attached to having a child, this is usually the case. You find yourself more and more anxious. And you’re likely giving off an anxious vibe to the men you meet.

Cultivate Detachment When you Feel like the Biological Clock is Ticking

So it’s very wise to cultivate an attitude of detachment about the whole getting pregnant ASAP thing. This does not mean that you do not take right action! On the contrary, sometimes taking right action—for example, exploring freezing your eggs or adopting—can be very helpful in creating emotional serenity about the whole topic of becoming a mom.

For example, one of the women we’re coaching recently started exploring freezing her eggs and noticed that just taking the steps to explore this has made a dramatic difference in her dating. It’s taken the pressure off. She’s been able to have more fun and live in the moment with guys. In turn, she’s attracting more potential partners.

Turn Over Your Biological Clock to the Universe

So how do you create detachment, or as they say in a 12-step program, “Turn it over”? Here I recommend turning to the Divine or your concept of God. Imagine handing your pregnancy wishes and dreams into the hands of whatever Higher Power speaks to you. You can set up what is often called a God Box in order to turn over the issue t o the Divine. Write down a love affirmation that calls to you, like:

“I trust the Divine to bring me to a glorious outcome regarding having children.”

“God, it is all in your hands regarding me having children. Thanks for giving me joy in this arena!”

“Infinitely Loving Divine Presence, thank you for blessing me beyond measure! I have a surprisingly fulfilling and joyful life as a parent and partner.”

Then put your affirmation in the God Box and say, “Thank You!”

You will be very surprised to see your affirmation manifest in an amazing way!

What to Say to Him

Now, when it comes to weeding out potential partners, I recommend that you feel him out in a low pressure way. You might say something like, “I’m surprised you and your ex didn’t have kids?” Or, work it into the conversation in a way the conveys you want kids but you aren’t just looking for a baby daddy. For example, “I definitely want kids. But I want to find the right person first and foremost.” And see what he says.

If he runs, he is doing you a favor. Otherwise he would have wasted your precious time. Remember spending too much time on the wrong guys who don’t have similar life goals will only delay you finding the right One.

Additional Resources

Do you feel like your biological clock is ticking and time is running out to have kids? Getting stressed with dating? We’re here to help you. So become a regular reader of the our free dating and relationship advice newsletter. And if you’re struggling and need immediate help take advantage of a complimentary dating strategy session with one of our expert coaches. It can change your life.

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Are you a successful woman who is tired of having NO good men to date?  THIS  is for you!

Hi, I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. My team and I have helped thousands of successful single women, including judges, famous shrinks, CEOs, philanthropists, Directors, professors, and celebrities like Hoda Kotb from The Today Show to find a high-quality man who understands, appreciates and cherishes them, and I'm confident we can help YOU too!

I'm a PBS Love expert and psychologist who has appeared on Oprah, the Today Show and in an Amazon Prime show, Love in 90 Days based on my bestseller Love in 90 Days.  My work has been featured in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, ABC, People, and NPR.

I specialize in helping high-caliber women create feminine self-confidence, dating success, and passionate love matches.

I want to do everything I can to give you hands-on personalized support that will make a lasting difference!

That's why I'm excited to offer a FREE Top-Tier Love Strategy Session via Zoom or phone with one of my gifted coaches.

During your powerful and dynamic one-on-one session, we will help you with your unique dating situation. You'll walk away refreshed and inspired, with a clear step-by-step path forward to move through any obstacles and get the top-tier love you want.  And deserve!

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  1. Parth Mayn on September 2, 2017 at 3:41 am

    Hi Dr. Diana Kirschner

    I love the premise of your site..Very nice well-written blog and title and I love the ideas you have shared in your blog post above.

    Keep up the great work, and all the best wishes for continuing success in your own endeavors.

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