How to Create Committed Lasting Love

lasting love

Do you wonder if a committed lasting love relationship is in your future? Does it seem impossible to achieve? Perhaps you’ve met the One only to see him or her come on like crazy, but then pull back for no apparent reason. So all of a sudden, everything becomes murky and uncertain in terms of your relationship.

You wonder, are you a couple or not?  Has your partner met someone else?  Why are they running hot and cold?  Do you have a future together?  Should you have “the talk” about where things stand? Maybe you blurted out something about the future only to find your heart sinking as your Beloved pulls away and actually leaves. And you worry, Is it me? Is it my partner? Will I ever create a committed lasting love relationship?

Maybe you are in a long term on-again, off-again relationship where one or the other of you periodically withdraws or sees other people.  For example, have you ever been involved and in love with someone for months, or even years, only to find that they simply cannot or will not take that next step into living together or marriage?

The Road to Lasting Love is Full of Potholes

The average time for a couple to move from dating to a committed relationship with a future that includes living together or getting married is from nine months to four years. All this varies considerably from couple to couple.  But usually, if things drag on in an uncommitted state much beyond a couple of years, the relationship will tend to go downhill. And eventually die.

So now it ’s time to learn the single most important thing you can do – whether you are single or in a relationship – to win the committed love of the One you really want.  Here it is:

Create a Lasting Love Intention

Write your goal down as a lasting love affirmation about you or you and your partner in the present tense, as if it is happening right now.  So for example, “I have passionate, fulfilling and lasting love in my life.” You might say, “I deserve a full commitment from my beloved.” Or you could write, “Brad and I commit to moving in together.” Post your Lasting Love Intention where you and you alone can see it every day.  Make sure to read your note several times a day.  Give the love affirmation your full attention for just a few seconds.

You do not have to believe an affirmation in order for it to “work” and come true.  Simply say it and let yourself have a bit of an imaginary fantasy as if it were true.  In fact, the latest research shows that this process can literally retrain and rewire the neural connections in your brain! And with that retraining, come new thoughts, positive thoughts that create even more connections in the brain and so on. So as you practice your Lasting Love Intention affirmation over time, your brain will create more and more connections that help reinforce your belief and love intention.

Practice Your Lasting Love Intention

Reading or thinking the love affirmation will help keep your attention focused on what you want to create. Instead of obsessing about past or current disappointments or worries about the future.  Negative thoughts lead to fear, worry and more uncertainties. In fact when negative thoughts do occur, train yourself to repeat your affirmation in your mind.  Do not fight doubts, fears, negative thoughts or feelings—just let them come but then simply and gently repeat your Lasting Love Affirmation.

Be sure to visit our Happy Couple page for more information on how happy couples create committed lasting love!

Commitment ultimately stems from making a decision about what you are creating in your life. And then, putting your attention on that decision, over and over again. Finally, you must act on that decision, even in the face of disappointments.  You decide, commit and take action towards your own love-filled happy future. And make creating love your priority this year. When you do this repeatedly no matter what, you will create the magical alchemy of committed lasting love for yourself and with your Beloved.  Learn more about how to create a committed true love relationship in the my newly revised bestselling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love, with a whole new chapter on Irresistible Self-Confidence.

love in 90 days




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Dr. Diana Kirschner

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.

“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.

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