How to Be a High Value Woman & Stop Settling for Less

high value womanFeeling like a high value woman who deserves to be cherished and completely beloved is not so easy to create! Especially if men have disappointed you and even broken your heart. It is not easy at any time or for any woman. Even celebrities confess that they are insecure. Accessing self-confidence is a challenging process for all of us. It certainly was a struggle–a major knock-down-drag-out struggle–for me. But, as I struggled, I learned one simple, incredibly powerful secret to creating the confident ‘me’ who is a high-value woman and the love-filled life I wanted to live.

How I Learned to Become a High Value Woman

I learned how to harness the natural growth pattern of life to help me shine. And that is the secret I want to share with you in this blog. It will boost you up beyond your wildest dreams. This secret certainly has worked big-time for me! I am sitting here, more in love with my hubby Sam than I’ve ever been. Here in my dream condo on the 14th floor, with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the azure waters of the ocean. I’ve been blessed to be on my personal mission to bring love to you! I never ever would have dreamed that I would be able to have the high-value self-worth to create the life I am living, given my background as an unwanted nobody’s girl. When I was born my father didn’t even want to come to the hospital to see me. You get the picture!

But I was able to create a new identity for myself that took me from unwanted and devalued to feeling like a high-value woman. This secret made it so–and rapidly. As you learn about my core secret, you will understand the process that will make your high-value positive self-affirmations pop and manifest.


Self-Confidence & the High Value Woman

Let’s look carefully at the goal– being, owning and acting as a high-value woman who has real-life, irresistible self-confidence. Yes, yes, yes!  It is a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.  This is the kind of self-confidence that makes you attractive, magnetic, charismatic, the kind of confidence where you can be truly real and authentic, make silly mistakes and elegantly recover your poise, live out your quirks and eccentricities and know that they make you adorable, fun, funny, loving, and lovable. The ‘it’ factor that draws guys to you. Think such self-confidence is impossible for you? Well I want you to hear me right now: I’ve seen that kind of sparkling self-appreciation emerge over and over in our clients’ lives, no matter what they have been through!

The Challenges of Becoming a High Value Woman

I’ve seen that magic of becoming a high-value woman unfold in many students and clients. Among those that felt old and over the hill because they were in their 40s, 50s, or 60s. Also, in women who are 50 pounds overweight and feeling that weight in more ways than one. I’ve seen that transformation in women who have been cheated on, who feel rejected, crushed, abandoned and humiliated. At first, they come to the Love in 90 Days Program, unempowered and believing that they may never be chosen because of their issues and baggage. They believe they have to settle or grasp at whatever crumbs they can get because this is the best they can do. Until they practice the powerful process you’re about to learn.

RELATED: Do You Need a Love Coach?

How a High Value Woman is Created

Now, let’s look at the three powerful practices that create the experience of being a high-value woman. At its core, self-confidence is an experience, a sense of self-assurance based on a set of affirming beliefs about yourself. In fact, these beliefs are grounded in appreciation of your own personality, beauty (everyone has beautiful aspects!), spirit, sensuality, humor, brains, and unique attractiveness. So know you have it, my love! Just take my word for it! You have it going on! Because each person does in their own unique way!

High Value Woman: Practice 1

Let’s get started on your journey to living your life full out as a high value woman. The first step is to find your own unique expression of confidence—one that tickles you, that you find intriguing, or flat out would simply love to have. You start by deliberately making positive statements about yourself in your mind and aloud that are inspiring and nourishing. And you truly allow yourself to play with the process. To be bold and grand, even if you are not feeling it!

Using affirming beliefs leads to positive self-talk, which is very powerful. Participants in one study who said self-affirmations before a new social encounter reduced their thoughts about being rejected, compared with another group that focused on the event and worried about who would be there.
Just pretend for a moment you can choose who/how you want to be regardless of any challenging reality or heartbreak you may be facing right now. Go ahead, play full-out, be creative and push the envelope.

High Value Woman: Practice 2

First, jot down ideas about how a high-value woman feels. Then, get the engine going until you feel freer and freer to write down whatever comes to mind. If a statement feels scary, that is good—you are pushing the edges of your growth. If it feels great to think of a particular affirmation, then it is right on target. Putting your attention on a positive belief about yourself is one of the most powerful creative forces at our disposal. For example, practice some of these affirmations:

Begin with “I am“:

Lovable and appealing.
Fun, funny and irresistible.
A beautifully unique child of God.
Sparkling and radiantly alive.
Delightful and adorable.
Radiate and attract love.
Charismatic and magnetic.
Charming and captivating.
Engaging and enchanting.
Lovely and fascinating in a way that is easy and effortless.
Entirely deserving of miraculous, surprising, lasting love.

When you make self-affirmations, you build on positive experiences from the past, and, more importantly, you are programming for new fulfillment of being a high-value woman in the future. Global or glowing affirmations about yourself don’t necessarily work in the time frame you would like—usually they take longer. But they do work. Make no mistake about it. The more attention you put on the loving self-declaration, the more quickly it will manifest. But you have to put your attention on it like you would on a mantra—lightly and without attaching to the affirmation too tightly. I call this Mantra Affirmation Activation.


High Value Woman: Practice 3

The general rule of Mantra Affirmation Activation is, when doubts or other negatives arise, treat them as if you were sitting in meditation: observe them without judgment. Notice and acknowledge your self-doubts and do not fight them. The more you acknowledge the doubts without struggle, the more quickly they will go away. then, always return to your high-value woman affirmation, like you would go back to a mantra after a distracting series of thoughts. In this way you will be flowing with the natural zig-zag pattern of growth.

So for example, if your affirmation is “I am a darling funny, cherished, high-value woman” and you immediately think, “Ha! I am a fat pig!” accept that pushback comment. And repeat the affirmation to yourself– “I am a darling funny, cherished, high-value woman”. In fact, gently go back to the affirmation, no matter what negative comments you get from the peanut gallery of your critical mind! Just go back to the affirmation! And the affirmation will win! You will experience being a high-value woman and get the great love you deserve! You go girl!


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Are you a successful woman who is tired of having NO good men to date?  THIS  is for you!

Hi, I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. My team and I have helped thousands of successful single women, including judges, famous shrinks, CEOs, philanthropists, Directors, professors, and celebrities like Hoda Kotb from The Today Show to find a high-quality man who understands, appreciates and cherishes them, and I'm confident we can help YOU too!

I'm a PBS Love expert and psychologist who has appeared on Oprah, the Today Show and in an Amazon Prime show, Love in 90 Days based on my bestseller Love in 90 Days.  My work has been featured in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, ABC, People, and NPR.

I specialize in helping high-caliber women create feminine self-confidence, dating success, and passionate love matches.

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