How Do I Get My Husband Interested in Me Sexually?
Have you been wondering? How do I get my husband interested in me sexually? Well, you’re not alone. Most couples after a few years together find that their sex life has become less frequent and even boring. But there is hope. As our coaching clients Simone & Jordan discovered.
Simone & Jordan Struggle in the Bedroom
Simone and Jordan had been married for thirteen years and enjoyed a wonderful lifestyle, as Jordan had a very successful career. They traveled the world and felt very blessed to be leading a life that was the envy of most of their friends. All seemed good at first glance, however in the bedroom things had not fared well. So Simone signed up for a free love mentoring session to discuss the lovemaking issues the couple had. Simone told Jordan she also wanted him to attend sessions when asked and he agreed.
In a private session with Simone, she shared with me that while she masturbated several times a day, she had never been able to have an orgasm with Jordan. Like many women she had never been able to express her sexual needs to her man. Also like many women she had been afraid of shattering his ‘fragile male ego’ in the bedroom and so she became adept at faking orgasm to please her husband. From her masturbatory experiences, Simone knew exactly what needed to change. Simone knew that the couple needed to slow the pace of lovemaking and that they needed to vary the depth of penetration. But how would she present this information to Jordan?
How Do I Get My Husband Interested in Me Sexually? Simone Tells Jordan the Truth about their Lovemaking
We practiced several role plays until Simone was comfortable with the idea of discussing things with Jordan in a sexy, fun and alluring fashion. Her script turned out to be something like this: “You know baby how I love to be with you. You make me feel so wonderful and sexy. Lately I’ve been having this fantasy about you that makes me feel wild inside. You have always been a wonderful lover and so responsive to my needs. My fantasy is that you make me wait longer to have an orgasm, by going slower and not as deep inside of me. This kind of teasing will set me on fire and I think I will just lose control.”
How Do I Get My Husband Interested in Me Sexually: Prolonging Desire
Jordan, like most good men wanted to please his woman. When I met with him, he shared Simone’s fantasy with me and felt as though he now had the keys to the kingdom. I reinforced with him the idea of building her desire and increasing her longing. This avoided the trap of injuring his ego and launched their love-making to great new heights. Jordan’s sexual confidence increased as he learned to make his multi-orgasmic wife shudder with pleasure at the thoughts of what he would do to her when he came home from work.
As Simone and Jordan connected on a deeper level, sex turned into hot erotic lovemaking. Their passion increased and they began to experiment with other ways to light the fire of their love.
So now, here are five more tips that have worked for many of our clients and for me in my long-term marriage. I can honestly say that our sex life is better and more fun than ever!
How Do I Get My Husband Interested in Me Sexually: Novelty
Novelty is the key! New experiences create dopamine, the brain chemical associated with exhilaration and ecstasy. Dopamine is what’s responsible for a lover’s high and also for infatuation. If you start with your juicy Diamond Self name (like Saucy Mink or Naughty Vixen), new lingerie or sexy clothing, and set the stage for having an affair, you are off to a good start. If you and your partner still have obstacles, I want you to put one thing into your minds right now. Here it is:
Sex is play.
How Do I Get My Husband Interested in Me Sexually? Sexual Play
Remember, be playful with your Beloved. Tickle and tease him or her. Give your partner a sexy Diamond Self nickname. Ask about sexual desires or fantasies, and playfully or humorously offer to fulfill them. You want to get into a more playful spirit to free yourselves up to create new and novel ways to bed each other. For example:
- Vary the way you set the stage by using dimmed light or candlelight, or running a bubble bath or steamy shower.
- Use feathers for exquisite arousal.
- Use sex toys with each other or in front of each other.
- Order sex toys together online.
- Put whipped cream on each other.
- Wear sexy role-play outfits—doctor and nurse, cop and criminal, master and slave.
- Meet at a bar as strangers.
- Vary your foreplay.
- Read books about tantric sex or sex manuals.
- Try new positions
How Do I Get My Husband Interested in Me Sexually: Make Sure You Both Are Fully Satisfied
First of all focus on your own pleasure, and then encourage your partner to do the same. Practice the Sexual Trance. It involves an inward focus in which each partner focuses on his or her own pleasurable sensations and creates a fulfilling sexual release. In win-win sex, each of you finds a strong release in orgasm. We have already dealt with you and finding out what turns you on. Next, onto your partner’s sexual needs.
For example, if you are a woman in a heterosexual relationship, try touching, massaging, licking, or stimulating all the different parts of his body to learn what turns him on. Observe and ask him questions about what feels good. Try different sexual acts, variations in intercourse positions, and most importantly, oral sex. Let’s face it: virtually all men adore oral sex. If you have a problem with this, consider the fact that chances are his mouth has more germs than his penis does.
For example, if you are a heterosexual man, romance your woman by setting the stage with flowers, candles, romantic dinners, etc. Then tell her you want to learn how to make mad passionate love to her. Take her to bed and start your exploring and experimenting with touch and massage; use your mouth and genitals. Observe her responses, and ask her to tell you what feels good.
How Do I Get My Husband Interested in Me Sexually: Become an Expert on What Turns You On
The more you know about each other’s body, the better you and your lover will be able to please each other. Guide each other by saying things like, “I love it when you stroke my breasts gently.” “I would love you to use your magic mouth on my stomach and slowly work your way down.” Or, “I love it when you tease my backside.”
How Do I Get My Husband Interested in Me Sexually: Validation
Say (truthful) things like, “I feel great when you do this!” “Your touch is amazing!” Or, “You are a great lover!” In fact, even if you have problems now, both of you can recover and find new heights of pleasure. So you just have to set the stage to have a great sexual relationship.
Gay & Lesbian Partners
So none of this is all that different for gay and lesbian partners. The recipe is to pay attention to your partner’s physical responses, set the scene to have a passionate feast together, be present, and enjoy. In fact, our gay and lesbian coaching clients have reported that these five tips have dramatically improved their sex lives.
RELATED POST: How to Be More Sexually Intimate with Your Partner
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As a relationship expert, I've helped thousands of women get the love they want-even when it seemed impossible. I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. You might know me from my PBS Special, seen me on Oprah, or have read one of my bestselling books.
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