got over her ex

How Darlene Got Over Her Ex

I couldn’t resist sharing how one of our Love Mentoring® clients, Darlene got over her ex: a very cruel, self-centered and stingy ex named Jim. A man who used and used her and then MOVED ON.  Darlene’s Love Mentor suggested one simple exercise that finally helped her so that she got over her ex.

Darlene’s Coach Uses an Empty Chair Technique

She told  Darlene to sit opposite an empty chair and have an imaginary conversation with Jim.  Here’s what Darlene said:
“You are so classically narcissistic! You only think of yourself. First, you sucked me in with all this generosity. But once you had me, you only took, took, took. And you were the one who abandoned the relationship, even though I bent over backward for you, you jerk! Withdrawing slowly from me to the point where there was nothing left. You stonewalling jerk!! Even though you were the one withdrawing, you provoked me into ending it by actually going on Match!!!! How humiliating!!”

At this point Darlene took a pillow and hit the chair that the imaginary Jim was sitting in.  Then she continued:
“And now I hear you are happy. It makes me so upset! You never deserved me and I hope in your next relationships you’ll get exactly what you dealt out–a lot of BS in a charming voice. You wasted my time and my life these past 2 years. I fell for it, I didn’t self-protect, I was too anxious to be in a relationship and I ignored the signs. I wanted someone else to do the hard work for me.”

Darlene Has a Breakthrough

Finally, Darlene had her “aha” moment, a moment in which she got over her ex:

“Well Jim, I have learned that I have to do it. I will watch out for myself. I will speak up for myself!”

Airing these pent-up issues and feelings helped Darlene and she got over her ex. Later that year she moved forward into a relationship with a terrific guy she met at church.

Bottom Line

If you want to get over your ex for good and for all, allow yourself to be with and process your own thoughts and feelings. No matter how painful they are. Surrender them to the Universe or Higher Power and ask to have them removed. They’re not doing you any good. But feel them fully. So try the empty chair yourself. You CAN get over a painful relationship and move on.


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  1. ruth on November 26, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    im still not over my narcistic ex who has moved on so quickly and cut all contact,he didn’t have much feelings for me and emotionally abusive of me and im so hurt but I am totally in love with him still. I simply feel like I cannot go on without him no matter how much help I am seeking, please advise me what to do. I have tried everything, im still not over it.

  2. Joyce Meyers on November 27, 2013 at 2:49 am

    for me time will heals all wounds…i still avoid him it still hurts to see him..its been over 3 u really ever really get over them…no u dont u just learn to move forward…hating him doesnt help either..time will help ease the pain..

  3. Dr. Diana Kirschner on November 27, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    Dear Ruth
    You are not alone. Many women have written to me and which is why I wrote this article. During this difficult time you could benefit greatly from a consultation with one of my expert Love Mentors. To sign up go to I’m sending you healing energy.
    Dr. Diana

  4. Dr. Diana Kirschner on November 27, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    Thank you for your wonderful support to Ruth. I do believe that there are other things we can do (besides letting time pass) that help us heal from heartbreak. Check out this article
    Much gratitude
    Dr. Diana

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