How A Diamond Self Identity Led to Romance

diamond self identity

This is another post in our Case Studies Series.

I want to zero in on how one simple step, creating a diamond self identity, can change your dating and love life.

You may be packing a few extra pounds or even more weight.  Or you may be feeling a bit wrinkled, worn and old.   You may be burnt out from the dating scene.  But it truly does not matter!  You can take a simple step, empower yourself in a fresh new way and create an awesome romance.

Sally Engages a Love Mentor

Let’s talk about  Sally, who works with Tamara Green in our Love Mentoring® program.   She is about 50 lbs. overweight and in her 50’s.  Although she has not lost any weight and her age certainly has not changed, she took the simple step I am about to share with you and her whole life changed.  When Sally started Love Mentoring® she was not dating at all.  Now almost every man she meets asks her out, she’s so appealing.    In the last year, four men have asked her for an exclusive relationship.  Sally is someone who had trouble getting even one date. Now she’s a dating queen!

In the past, Sally would say things  like, “I’m too unattractive to men”, “Men want thinner women”, “I’m too old”, “No man wants a woman with a health problem.”  In other words, she was very focused on what was wrong or unattractive about her.   This kind of negative self talk is what tends to shackle you,  hold you back from getting out there. Your inner critic stops you from meeting people and fulfilling your dreams of companionship and passionate love.

How to Create a Diamond Self Identity

The awesome simple step Sally made was to create a diamond self identity which turned this negative self talk into a positive internal dialogue. Sally’s  Love Mentor showed her how these negative self-doubting thoughts came from a negative and disappointing self identity.   So Sally needed to create a new Diamond Self Identity that was beautiful and very alluring to men.

Sally used this Diamond Self Identity process that can help you turn your negative thoughts about yourself into positive ones.  It involves two steps:

  • Ask your best friends to tell you what is most wonderful about you–why they love you, why they love to be around you.  What is beautiful and attractive about you. Write down their answers. 
  • Ask them to help you create a new Diamond Self nickname based on what they perceive about you.

Sally Chooses a Diamond Self Identity

For example, Tamara showed Sally how she actually had a very magnetic personality.  Sally’s best friend told her that she was very curvy and reminded her of a luscious Venus figure from antiquity.  Tamara and Sally came up with a nickname that was  Luscious and Alluring Venus (LAV for short)!!! You could even hear the difference in Sally’s voice when she played around with that Diamond Self Identity.

Take a few moments and call a friend or two and ask them what is really attractive about you.  Then ask them to help you jot down nicknames you might give yourself. Don’t be shy!  Think Aphrodite, Queen Latifah (born Dana Owens), Luscious Liz, Amazing Grace.  Just free associate to the wonderful things your friends say about you to help create your Diamond Self Identity.

Sally used her positive shift to give herself a makeover so that she looks younger, feels younger and, of course, feels so much better about herself. Sally used to avoid mirrors. Now when she looks in the mirror, she is pleasantly surprised by how good she looks.  Now that she has accessed her Diamond Self Identity, she operates from it in everything that she does. Sally’s amazing.  She uses every opportunity to meet men.

One day, she was walking into a restaurant and this man was walking in at the same time. Seeing that he was alone, she very brightly said, “Hi, how are you today?!”. The surprised man warmly smiled back and said, “Much better now!” He quickly asked if they could sit together. They had a great meal together, laughing and telling stories of their travels.  They have now been dating for 4 months, and he’s very smitten with her too.

Bottom Line

This can happen for you.  Yes, you.  You can instantly boost and build your self confidence and build self esteem. And find a real love match that is just right for you.  So please begin working on this simple step for yourself.  Call your friends, jot down some nicknames. And to help you with the Diamond Self Identity Process, I’m happy to say that Amazon is streaming my Show, Love in 90 Days. It’s free with Prime Video. In it, I take you through the Diamond Self Identity. So I’ll be your guide in taking you through this life-transforming process.

 

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Dr. Diana Kirschner

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.” ~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.

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