Discover the Hidden Beauty in Your Face

hidden beautyHere’s another client story from our Case Studies Blog.

Dear Dr. Diana, I just broke up with my boyfriend and was thinking about dating. But now that I am over 40, every time I looked in the mirror I saw another gray hair, another wrinkle. It got to the point that I was seeing my mother’s face as my own when I looked in the mirror. Then I did the Discovering the Hidden Beauty in Your Face exercise from your book, The Diamond Self Secret! Now when I look in the mirror, I see the twinkle, the sparkle in my eyes, and I actually see a lot of beauty there, a strength and loving presence that I was not noticed before! Thanks from the bottom of my heart! ~Kali

Chances are, you have never really seen the hidden beauty in your face.

You have missed the symmetry, the sparkle that comes from the depths of your eyes, the way your eyebrows frame those eyes. The little crinkles of pure happiness that come from your mouth when you giggle or laugh out loud. Imagine looking at your face like a good archetypal mother or a loving partner would see it. This is the Discovering the Hidden Beauty in Your Face exercise.

Every day before you brush your teeth, spend three minutes REALLY looking at your face in the mirror. Look for beauty. Look for character. Look for the twinkle, the sparkle of your soul. Look at that person in the mirror AS IF YOU HAVE JUST FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THEM. What do you notice? Do you see how your beloved changes from day to day?

Do you see the absolute perfection of the imperfections in that face? Do you see the hidden beauty? The ineffable presence of consciousness that is deep in the eyes? Keep looking—it is all there.

The Hidden Beauty Exercise: Debra

Here is what happened to Debra, a nurse in our Dating Coaching program who used the Hidden Beauty exercise to build self-esteem and transform her dating life.

When I hit my forties, I really stopped looking at my face in the mirror. I didn’t want to see aging at work, eroding my skin and dragging down my face. I would just slather on some moisturizer and lip gloss and rush out the door. When my mentor gave me this exercise, I was feeling afraid to actually do it. But the first morning I truly looked at my face in a loving way, I saw the laugh lines that look so great around my eyes. And my hazel green eyes are well, actually, gorgeous. And kind. Very kind. So funny to say all that! The weird thing is I am making more eye contact with people, including the guys I am dating! And they are calling me back more than ever before.

As they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul. So is the face. Your face. Look closely next time around at the mirror, look for the true hidden beauty in your face and you will see it. And please continue reading more true stories on how women are transforming themselves. I promise that You’ll be inspired.


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Dr. Diana Kirschner

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.” ~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.


  1. carmel on March 31, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    Need some help 🙂

  2. Tiny on April 23, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    This was a awesome word of advice. To see my self as my boy friend does.

  3. april on December 28, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    my name is april my just broke up with me because i said i was not ready to get marrid tell what i can do

  4. Dr. Diana Kirschner on January 20, 2015 at 12:39 pm

    Hi April
    Sadly this is a common problem but it usually works out for the best.
    Dr. D

  5. Jay King on March 10, 2015 at 3:06 am

    Great Article Dr. Diana.
    Self-Confidence is key, It all starts within you… love yourself so others may love you too..

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