I get tons of emails asking me about flirting tips for women and especially how to get a shy guy to come out of his shell. Well, with a shy guy you have to be more available, take the lead more often and maybe even give him the first kiss. Keep in mind, however, that he needs to be responding very positively to each of your moves. If he doesn’t respond to you, end the relationship because you don’t want to be stuck in a fantasy where you are crazy about someone who is truly not into you.
Eight flirting tips that bring a shy guy out of his shell
#1 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: See him when he is in his element.
If he plays sports, go watch. Be there as he finishes a marathon. If he is giving a talk, try to arrange to be in the audience. When a shy guy is in his element he will be at the height of his charisma and at a high point of self-confidence. Bottom line: he will be feeling very good about himself. And this means he will feel empowered to make a move on you if he is really interested.
#2 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: Compliment him.
Notice something about him or what he is doing that you really like and praise it with a specific and sincere compliment. For example, Your blog about going to Sicily was hysterically funny and made me want to go! This builds his self-esteem and will tend to get him to talk more about the topic. And it may even get him to show off a bit for you.
#3 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: Say his name a lot; give him a complimentary nickname.
This indicates that you are noticing him and that he is important to you. He will bond more quickly with you when you use his name. Also, choose a complimentary nickname based on one of his qualities that you admire. For example, if he is into playing baseball, call him “Jeter.” This will get him to laugh and open up with you about his baseball experiences.
#4 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: Ask open-ended questions.
Good examples are, “How did you get interested in (your job)?” “What brought you to live in the city?” “How do you manage to train for a triathlon when you work full-time?” These kinds of questions will help a shy guy open up and talk about himself. And this will lead to him feeling known and being comfortable with you.
#5 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: Ask for help with something.
Men love to help women. They are biologically wired that way! Ask him to fix your computer, your car, your bike, your door—you name it. He will enjoy coming through for you and feel much more connected to you. Ask him questions about what he is doing—this will get him talking more. When he is in the “helper” role he is much more likely to share with you.
#6 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: Ask what he likes to eat or what sports, hobbies, or movies he likes.
Shy guys can be very interested in you, but petrified to make the first move. It is very easy to open the door to a common interest by asking about food, hobbies or other fun activities. When you hit on something you both love, you will instantly become more bonded. It is easy, then to make the first move and ask about doing the activity together. This is a good litmus test that will show if he is interested or not. When you are opening the door that much, if he does not respond and make the date, chances are he is not into you.
#7 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: When leaving, say you’d like to see him again.
This is an easy, non-threatening way to show that you are interested in him. If he responds positively, by smiling, nodding or saying “yes” he may be feeling some attraction to you. At that point, make sure he has your contact information!
#8 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: Make Physical Contact With Him.
If you’ve spent some time together, make physical contact with him. Being physical releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone so he may feel closer and start responding to you immediately. In addition, touching him gives him permission to make an affectionate gesture towards you later on—where he holds your hand, puts his arm around you or kisses you.
So practice some or all of these flirting tips and you’ll bring out the best in guys. And for more information on how to flirt and bring out your charisma sign up for our free Dating Tips Newsletter.