8 Best Flirting Tips to Bring a Shy Guy Out of His Shell

flirting tips shy guy

Eight Best Flirting Tips With a Shy Guy

I get tons of emails asking me about flirting tips for women and especially how to get a shy guy to come out of his shell. Well, with a shy guy you have to be more available, take the lead more often and maybe even give him the first kiss.  

Keep in mind, however, that he needs to be responding very positively to each of your moves. If he doesn’t respond to you, end the relationship because you don’t want to be stuck in a fantasy where you are crazy about someone who is truly not into you.

RELATED POST: How to Flirt

Eight flirting tips that bring a shy guy out of his shell

#1 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: See him when he is in his element.

If he plays sports, go watch.  Be there as he finishes a marathon. If he is giving a talk, try to arrange to be in the audience.  When a shy guy is in his element he will be at the height of his charisma and at a high point of self-confidence.  Bottom line: he will be feeling very good about himself.  And this means he will feel empowered to make a move on you if he is really interested.

#2 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: Compliment him.

Notice something about him or what he is doing that you really like and praise it with a specific and sincere compliment. For example, Your blog about going to Sicily was hysterically funny and made me want to go! This builds his self-esteem and will tend to get him to talk more about the topic.  And it may even get him to show off a bit for you.

#3 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: Say his name a lot; give him a complimentary nickname.

This indicates that you are noticing him and that he is important to you.  He will bond more quickly with you when you use his name.  Also, choose a complimentary nickname based on one of his qualities that you admire.  For example, if he is into playing baseball, call him “Jeter.”  This will get him to laugh and open up with you about his baseball experiences.

#4 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: Ask open-ended questions.

Good examples are, “How did you end up in the city?”  “How do you manage to train for a triathlon when you work full-time?” These kinds of questions will help a shy guy open up and talk about himself.  And this will lead to him feeling known and being comfortable with you.


#5 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: Ask for help with something.

Men love to help women.  They are biologically wired that way!  Ask him to fix your computer, your car, your bike, your door—you name it.  He will enjoy coming through for you and feel much more connected to you.  Ask him questions about what he is doing—this will get him talking more. When he is in the “helper” role he is much more likely to share with you.

RELATED POST: What Makes Men Fall in Love? The Most Important Factor

#6 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: Ask what he likes to eat or what sports, hobbies, or movies he likes.  

Shy guys are often petrified to make the first move.  It is very easy to open the door to a common interest by asking about food, hobbies or other fun activities.  When you hit on something you both love, you will instantly become more bonded.  It is easy, then to make the first move and ask about doing the activity together.  This is a good litmus test.  When you are opening the door that much, if he does not respond and make the date, chances are he is not into you.


#7 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: When leaving, say you’d like to see him again.

Tell him you’d like to get together again.  If he responds positively, by smiling, nodding or saying “yes” he may be feeling some attraction to you.  At that point, make sure he has your contact information!

#8 of 8 Best Flirting Tips: Make Physical Contact With Him.

If you’ve spent some time together, make physical contact with him. Being physical releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone so he may feel closer and start responding to you immediately. In addition, touching him gives him permission to make an affectionate gesture towards you later on—where he holds your hand, puts his arm around you or kisses you.

So practice some or all of these flirting tips and you’ll bring out the best in guys. And if you need more help in overcoming shyness and learning how to flirt, get in touch with me today to get a personal gift from me to you. In fact, I will buy you an introductory session with a gifted dating coach who will give you a free session by phone or Skype. This is time-limited, so Click Here to change your life.


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Hi, I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. My team and I have helped thousands of successful single women, including judges, famous shrinks, CEOs, philanthropists, Directors, professors, and celebrities like Hoda Kotb from The Today Show to find a high-quality man who understands, appreciates and cherishes them, and I'm confident we can help YOU too!

I'm a PBS Love expert and psychologist who has appeared on Oprah, the Today Show and in an Amazon Prime show, Love in 90 Days based on my bestseller Love in 90 Days.  My work has been featured in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, ABC, People, and NPR.

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  1. Dr. Diana Kirschner on September 30, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    I’m very sorry that happened to you. But there are plenty of great women out there for you. One may actually read this reply and want to contact you.
    Wishing you love Dr. Diana

  2. Andrew on October 1, 2010 at 5:34 am

    All good advice, Dr. D, but you under-estimate the degree of shyness and fear of embarrassment many men feel. If a woman did these things toward me and followed your advice she would give up on me and never know that about a year later I would suddenly realise that she might have been giving me the green light to make a move. Too late by then!

  3. shures on October 1, 2010 at 6:59 am


  4. shures on October 1, 2010 at 7:00 am

    tips for guys

  5. seraph5555 on October 1, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    as a shy guy i gotta say this is pretty spot on

  6. Foreveralone:( on October 5, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    Just gotta say that people are different, I dont like that girl says my name or that she compliments me… Best tip is to be his friend, no one is shy with his/her friends. When you are at friend level, you get to know him better. Knowing other person is allways a good thing. Worst scene is that when you both are shy… You cant know the real “feelings”. I am shy when I have not drink alcohol, when I boost my ego with alcohol I became my alterego or something like that… When I drink I get contact with girls. Only downside is that no one takes that drunkshit seriously… And when I am clearminded again I cant do a shit… My problem is that I am affraid of fail so bad that I cant do my move. And when its case of another shy person, you wait and she/he wont do the move you became paranoid… Now I am in this situation… I dont know her feelings(Ive heard that she likes me but… I am just not sure) I have feelings towards that girl but I just cant do a shit.

  7. John on October 7, 2010 at 6:07 am

    Brad, that’s just the nature of some girls and hardly Dianas fault. It sucks, but it’s part of life that some run away from love. But wasn’t the attention better than the alternative of never getting anywhere, as we shy guys usually have it?

    Person 023, -oh yes We do! I.e. talking or performing for an audience is hardly the same as making it with a girl you fancy. Nor is being good at sports. Or being highly intellegent. Sometimes these things just makes it worse because no one thinks it could be like that. With some you wouldn’t think it, but it’s just a matter of how perceptive you are. Lots of people who’re shy when it comes to getting past first base are social and outgoing and seem not to have these kinds of problems.
    A good clue is someone that seems like a great guy but you rarely or never see them having a girlfriend, date or even the occasional snog even though they’re obviously attracted to women.

    Great that someone takes the time and effort to tell women how to reach shy guys. As a secretly shy and sensitive guy that’s usually being percieved as “just being picky” or “choosing to be alone” (as if anyone really would), I really appreciate it.

  8. Dan Geraghty on October 8, 2010 at 7:29 pm

    I’m a very shy guy, never really having the courage to even talk to a girl let alone make a move. I can say that the advice you’ve given is pretty sound in theory. If a girl followed your advice to attract me I’d say it’d work brilliantly. Some guys are more shy then others and, no offense to any guys who read this, and be pretty dense. Alot won’t realise that the girl is interested and mistake it for friendship only and if a shy guy thinks that a girl just wants to be his friend then he’ll be as good a friend as he can be but he won’t make a move.

  9. Burn Xtreme on October 12, 2010 at 4:38 am

    I confess; I used to be a shy guy What is a shy guy? Any guy who fails, refuses or can’t bring himself to approach women. These guys usually won’t say one word to a girl unless she speaks to them first. Everyday they pass by available women who flirt with them and would love to talk with them but these guys do what I used to do; clam up turn tail and run for the hills. Speaking from experience, this fixable disorder forces guys to use their shyness as an excuse for not engaging in healthy relationships with the opposite sex.

  10. spisteel on October 12, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    Well, it’s midnight here. Am laying down on my bed and reading this Post. Was reading some advanced hacking Doc. I clicked some links here and there and at the end of the I landed in this site. Well, this is something cool. But, am now feeling very much alone after reading this. I don’t know in the road or in the office how many girls have starred at me, but I had just overlooked them, considering them just as passer by……….. Suddenly, I am feeling bad thinking about them…….. 🙁

    nyway, time to sleep. Time to dream. I have to go to office early…….steel…cya.

  11. meh on October 12, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    I don’t agree with “Keep in mind, however, that he needs to be responding very positively to each of your moves. If he doesn’t, end the relationship because you don’t want to be stuck in a fantasy where you are crazy about someone who is truly not into you.”
    If a guy isn’t responding positively, you are probably going too fast for him. That’s how my (short) relationship ended. She was basically my first for a bunch of things (kiss, makeout, girlfriend, date, etc.), so I was not accustomed to her advances. We went from making out on the grass to her straddling me above (towards stomach) my crotch. I felt nervous as hell, so I didn’t really respond “positively”. I started to feel better and ready, but then she told me it wouldn’t work out.
    If a guy doesn’t want you, he’ll tell you.

  12. DPU....... on October 14, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    I think these tips applicable for both(men and women)

  13. super on October 14, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    Spot on for me, but the thing is, i actually am more of a supporter, and love to help out. Its just in my nature to help someone or something in need, perhaps my greatest downfall or my greatest strength

  14. A classic shy one on October 15, 2010 at 4:39 am

    Good tips but don’t forget shy guys may like a little assertiveness. A nice coy smile at just him, the classic wink, and when you leave a quick friendly kiss on the cheek can be that shock to get him to turn your way!
    Oh and get used to it, he’ll always be shy and want you to take the lead at times. But the rewards and romance us shy guys offer are the best!

  15. jessi on October 15, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Showing up at his door naked with a six pack works every time too.

  16. jesse on October 16, 2010 at 10:59 am

    i am very shy. i never realize when im being hit on. i never get the subtle moves cause all my brain is thinking is what do i do next. is she really into me. did she just try a move on me, no couldn’t have been one, she accidentally brushed u against me and i dont realize till days weeks months later when i think bck that she was droppin some pretty big hints..its funny and embarrising to me because i now i am very good looking ( as people have told me my entire life) but i still do not have the backbone t be with a girl..ftw

  17. some guy on October 17, 2010 at 11:14 pm

    i’m a shy-ish guy…
    and that would definitely work on me…

    so if you see someone who is wearing jeans, a sweatshirt, (which do not match) and, uhh, 6’2″
    black hair… green eyes… nevermind.
    it would work.

  18. anne - marie on October 19, 2010 at 11:41 am

    I am not fond of making the first move being a female.Yes i think shy people should be more than loved. I think they should be cherrished, and held, cuddled and supported. I was once shy,so was my husband. It was a sad and lonely time. I did something similar , except it was all part of a fantasy i had about him and I. I was given advice and never used it.Now I have been with my older husband for 17 yrs. And the life of these 2 shy people have flourished and still do.

    As for the other shy people out there in this world. Do not put your heart on your sleeve. Just don’t box it in too tight that it can not be released. When your true companion is ready to show , you will know what to do. I wish all nothing but complete happiness and bliss. Life is what you make it . Good luck ,

  19. goldendemon on October 20, 2010 at 11:23 am

    was married for 38 years she past away last year butwe did most things together aim a avid fishermant she did not like it as much as i did but did go with me lot of times that made my marriage
    work god bless her,

  20. Dr. Diana Kirschner on October 20, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    The great zen monk Joshu was asked “what is the nature of enlightenment?” He said simply “Attention.” The students wouldn’t give up so they asked again. Joshu said: “Attention, Attention. This went on for awhile until finally he said, Attention, Attention Attention.
    Wishing you love
    Dr. D

  21. Dr. Diana Kirschner on October 20, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    Yes it does. But…..

  22. candlelightfortwo on October 21, 2010 at 11:07 am

    Just wanted to say to all the shy guys…

    Don’t let fear of rejection or heartbreak keep you alone. We all have those fears, except maybe the hopeless narcissist.
    Keep the porn to a minimum. Fantasy has it’s place, but should never take the place of real human interaction.
    And for the guy who fell in love and had his heart broken: Disappointment and setbacks are a part of life in all areas. The positive side to it is you ventured into a relationship. Now just don’t give up or set that as a precedent for any future relationships because that’s not the case. Obviously it just wasn’t the right match for you, but that’s okay. I choose to think of everything that doesn’t turn out the way I hoped as a learning experience in life rather than a catastrophe.
    Anyway, please don’t make your shell impenetrable. And maybe learn about body language so you aren’t second guessing every nuance of interaction with a woman.
    Okay, I’ve put in more than my two cents. Loved the article, will buy the book.
    PS I’m a woman in case you were wondering…

  23. shyguy on October 23, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    this is great, but overdone.
    honestly, all you need to get a shy guy out of his shell is: say “hello”

    yes I know it sounds like a bad joke but it’s true.

    now come on, this isn’t useful information, give us the real useful stuff…

    tell us SHY guys how the @%#@$@$# to get out of our shells and gather the nerve to ask that girl/woman out, seriously it’s horrible

    what’s the worst that can happen if we get it wrong? well, there’s this picture in my head of me wearing a striped shirt getting free room and board in a very uncomfortable place…

  24. Pete Pallein on October 24, 2010 at 7:54 am

    Very Good! Where were you 40 years ago? You sound like the ideal woman. Those are the greatest things any girl could do to make me resist. Looks and brains are nice, but sensitivity triumphs over all including sex.

  25. Dr. Diana Kirschner on October 24, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    Being warm and friendly is not a first move. Most guys need at least some encouragement to approach a woman.

  26. juliana on October 24, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    If a man does not want you does not mean he will not use you. And do not believe women should make the first move nor call men.

  27. Shannon on October 27, 2010 at 5:32 am

    How about tips for shy girls trying to break through to men?

  28. Shannon on October 27, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    What about shy girls? It seems like many men don’t find introverted chicks attractive.

  29. XviD on October 31, 2010 at 9:45 am


    If you are halfway decent looking, or have big boobs, or nice clothes, or are IN to a guy , you WILL get him if you try at ALL. He might not ask you, because men are conditioned to NOT hit on girls because of feminist bullshit and sexual harassment laws and rules in the workplace.

    5% he is gay, he is afraid of his FD or doesnt want to get caught or doesnt want to cheat, theres something REALLY wrong with you, or he thinks its good to be true.

  30. ayesha on July 20, 2011 at 8:43 am

    i dont think so that it will work

  31. Dr. Diana Kirschner on July 21, 2011 at 10:08 am

    Give it a try!!! Start with baby steps! Wishing you love!

  32. J on August 27, 2013 at 8:34 pm

    Hi, I need some advice. I really like this guy, he seems shy, he gets really nervous when I try to talk to him, to the point where he will avoid me or be short with me. I would assume he isn’t interested if I didn’t catch him looking at me so much. I admit, I started the staring back and forth but he definitely does it on his own now. I touched his arm once and tried to speak to him but he just nodded an answer and got away from me, his whole body tensed and changed I couldn’t determine if he was annoyed by me or what…I’ve noticed that his friends seem to tease him when im around, i think he had mentioned the situation to them. I’m older than him and have a more authoritative position where we met but I TRULY like him, dont want to intimidate him, just want him to give this a chance…i dont know what to do? Am I being stupid, should I give up? But I DO think of him all the time, totally hooked on him..

  33. Dr. Diana Kirschner on August 29, 2013 at 9:49 am

    Dear J,
    I would suggest that you act like a friend with him and when it feels right, ask him to go to an event you both would enjoy–a game, a happening in the park, etc. Give him what i call a Diamond Self nickname, like “Captain Ken,” that relates to his hobbies and interests. If he enjoys the nickname he will feel closer to you. See how things unfold. Also, read Love in 90 Days–it will help you.
    Wishing you love,

  34. Jr on September 13, 2013 at 6:54 am

    Nice Tips Dr. D.. I’m not all that shy but i cannot find one true person to love me back the same, i think it cos i give in my all the time,any advice for me?..Also would like to meet a …. ready for true love.Thanks

  35. Chumi2 on November 18, 2013 at 8:03 pm

    I’m a shy business student girl and I like this SHY engineering guy….we studied same subject for this 5sem….now it’s another 2 weeks for our final exam and I might not see him ever again… I really wanted to confess to him but I’m not sure he like me or not. And I’m not that pretty to compare with other girl..I’m afraid that of I confess, I might not be able to meet his eyes ever.. He might also stop talking to me.. Help me!! What should I do..

  36. Dr. Diana Kirschner on November 19, 2013 at 10:51 am

    Hi Chumi,
    I would not confess love to your fellow student. Instead, I would ask him to help you study for exams! Prepare some snacks to share while you are studying. Also, since you are shy, I recommend that you take advantage of a free Love Mentoring coaching session by phone or Skype with one of my expert love mentors. just click on the coaching tab on this website and fill out the form!
    Wishing you love!

  37. Lacie on April 17, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    . I got a shy guy. He’s over 30. We have talked several times. I initiate all actual conversations but he will greet me on his own now. He usually says hey girl and always end with a nice to talk to you girl if we have a conversation. (sometimes we don’t get to because of busy schedules) he always seems quite nervous and will answer anything with these long drawn out explanations. I notice when we are in lecture he will glance at me and if are sitting where I can see him, he is like a 5 yr old. Fold, unfold legs, foot constantly moving. Up and down in sit. Can’t sit still. He has lightly touched me on my shoulders a few times when talking and he did put his hand on my back once when we were walking but… Sometimes after the friendly greeting he is too busy and looks like he is avoiding me, to me. Also, I have invited him to a couple events. He never said no, but indicated it wasn’t his thing. I even asked if he wanted me to continue with invites and he never gave a straight answer… I just don’t get it.

  38. Dr. Diana Kirschner on April 18, 2015 at 8:13 am

    Dear Lacie,
    It sounds like this guy may have a more difficult time with people than an ordinary shy guy would. This means that even if he likes you it may be hard to have a good relationship with him going forward because of his difficulties in relating to people. You can continue to make flirty contact with him, but I would also look around to begin dating men who are less socially insecure, who seem to be more obviously into you.
    Wishing you love,

  39. Alley on May 2, 2015 at 10:56 pm

    I really like this guy. He is the sweetest. But idk much about him. I’m afraid to ask anything because, i don’t want to seem creepy or mess up. I have no idea what questions i should ask him. I just want him to open up to me and myself to open up towards him. We are both shy but, secretly i think he may like me??? I’m just confused??

  40. Dr. Diana Kirschner on June 17, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    Just notice little things you like in what he says or what he is wearing and comment on them! Compliments open up communication and connection! And ask him about whatever is happening right in the here and now–Questions like, “What do you think of that?”.

  41. Shona on September 21, 2015 at 12:12 pm

    Hello Doc,
    First of all I would say sorry for my grammar in the following message.As English is not my mother tongue.I hope you cope up with this. 🙂 ok.. Sooo…
    I like a guy from last 4 months.He is very shy and never starts conversation with me and my friends. We are in same college but different years. He is 10 months younger than me. I really like him a lot.Once I tried to talk to him,on that day he confessed that he’s a shy guy and he doesn’t know what should he say. And I would like to tell you more about myself,I’m a outgoing girl,confident but fat. My fat is the biggest barrier between us.I cant communicate with him because sometimes I think he won’t like a fat girl like me. Because of this I’m losing my weight. Gyming 2 hours almost daily. And so on.I call him with few nicknames. And whenever he listens to them he just smiles.I don’t know much about him.I just know his name and he is a shy guy and a football player. Even he doesn’t know anything about me.How should I start talking to him. Will he ever like an elder and a big girl? Is it possible to take a first move? I’m really very confused. Please reply.

  42. Dr. Diana Kirschner on September 25, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    Dear Shona,
    First of all, it is your vibe that attracts a guy and not necessarily just your body!!! So I want you to work on that by working up a saucy fun-loving Diamond Self identity (which anyone can do, regardless of dress size or age). Pick up a copy of the ebook, “The Diamond Self Secret:Say Goodbye to Your Inner Critic and Hello to Self-Acceptance, Serenity, and Lasting Love” on Amazon and follow the instructions in chapter 2–on the body-love Diamond Self. You will wind up giving yourself a playful nickname like Saucy Minx, or Vivacious Vixen. Then i want you to go shopping and dress the part! You will be shocked at how your vibe changes when you are with him. Be sure to flirt by touching his arm lightly, touching your hair, neck or lips when you are with him and teasing him a bit. Keep me posted!
    Wishing you love!

  43. creditskypegratuit.wordpress.com on August 21, 2016 at 7:27 am

    Regards for helping out, fantastic info.

  44. Mia on August 26, 2016 at 12:28 pm

    Hi! I am in the 8th grade and need serious help! So, there is this guy… He’s really outgoing around everyone but me. He will be around his friends one minute, and then he won’t even try to start a conversation with me… I told my friends, and now i realize that it was a really bad idea… They are ALWAYS asking him if he likes me. He’s said yes, no, and maybe… I like him so much, but it’s hard to know if he feels the same… Iv’e been knowing him since i started at my new school last year and we are probably going to the same high school. He liked me last year, but i have NO CLUE if he still does… Iv’e already told him I can’t date until my 2nd year of high school, and he didn’t seem to mind. Once my friend asked if he liked me and he said that he felt like he wasn’t good enough for me… I have no idea if he meant that he liked me or not… I’m just so confused… Could someone help me? 🙁

  45. Dr. Diana Kirschner on September 11, 2016 at 11:00 am

    Hi Mia!
    It seems like this guy does like you! He is probably shy about it. Just start up some conversations and try the tips in this article.

  46. Loud girl->shy guy on September 16, 2016 at 3:57 pm

    I like a really shy guy but I have no idea whether he sees me as just a good friend or something more… We’re group leaders in class and he asked my partner if he could switch groups with her even though he already had a given partner and said “because I want to be with her,” meaning me. I know that sounds so obvious but he’s so shy it might just be because he’s nervous and more comfortable being with me instead of everyone else. He waits for me after class and even if we’re doing group work, he leads me off away from the group to sit somewhere else. He plays with my hair and pokes me all the time if I’m not paying attention to him and it’s weird because we’re high school seniors and he’s usually so shy, so it surprises me. But he might just be doing those things because I’m his friend. Before when we didn’t sit by each other, he was always looking at me and wanting me to sit next to him because he was “lonely.” He still always looks at me and tries to get my attention when we’re separated into different groups. He doesn’t ever try to talk to anyone else in class except me and I’ve tried to coax him to make friends but he just says “I’ll try; eventually.” He jokes around with me and is so confident around me although he’s usually just so quiet and secretive toward everyone else. When we gave self-introductions to the freshmen by telling our names and what our background on our foreign language was, (we’re in an honors 7-8 foreign lang. combo class) all he said was “Hi, I’m [name],” and that was all he would say even after our teacher said “is that it??!” My friend also has a class with him but says he’s so different and lively around me than in her class, in which he just sits quietly and keeps to himself… I feel like he’s so playful and like a little kid around me because he sees me as a good friend and is too shy to even know what liking someone means. And I should add that he’s that one super hot and super cool quiet guy that most girls fangirl about but who keeps to himself most of the time so I feel like of course he wouldn’t be interested in me… But if he was, what do I even do about it without freaking him out??

  47. Katherine on September 19, 2016 at 7:05 pm

    I am a freshman in college. I have never had a boy friend in the past so I have no idea if this guy likes me. I’m hoping you can help me figure it out. Okay, I met him the first day of our class we are both in. He seems to be shy but I’ve never seen him outside of this class. We were both very early and he kept looking at me and blushing. I’m sure I was too. When class started he sat right next to me (and continues to since). I have seen him looking at me every class. Lately he has also been running his hands through his hair. Last week when our class went to the computer lab he sat right behind me. I think he sat down somewhere else, saw me and moved. There were many other seats open. During that class I felt as though he was trying to be funny etc. I laughed of course and I’m pretty sure he noticed. Another instance is that groups were presenting something on one side of the classroom. There was this really funny part. He turned around smiling and laughing to look at me and then turned back around. Was he seeing if I was laughing too? But two things have been making me think that he doesn’t like me. Every day before class he often talks to a girl I have become friends with (who is also in our class) and then looks at me, as if to see I was watching. The other is that as soon as class is over he takes off and walks so fast out of the classroom. He has seen I walk the same way to my next class though. It’s like he purposely ignores me after class. I am terrified to talk to him as I am shy and have NO experience with guys. NONE. I do like him though. Honestly do you think he feels the same? Please help! 🙂

  48. Dr. Diana Kirschner on February 24, 2017 at 1:04 pm

    It is very hard to tell at this point if he does like you or not! I suggest you build your self confidence up and then start asking him questions about the class work! Here is a book that will really help you build that confidence: The Diamond Self Secret. .
    Wishing you love and success!

  49. Jasmine on April 9, 2017 at 6:41 pm


    Seven months ago I randomly noticed this guy at the gym, I didn’t think anything of it at the time because I don’t ever notice guys at the gym, I usually just go to get my workout in and leave. I was definitely attracted to him, but I didn’t think I would see him again. Well, after a month we ended up at the gym at the same time…I was putting a weight away when I walked past a machine and caught a glimpse of him staring at me, he immediately looked away. Ever since that time we’ve been showing up to the gym at the same time and I slowly started noticing that he was staring at me A LOT. He would even go work out at machines that were right in front of me just so he could look at me.

    He always shows up to the gym with a couple of his friends, but they each do their separate thing. He started doing things that would get my attention, like passing the room I was working out in on purpose every time he came in and he even tried several times to approach me, but never had the courage to say anything or introduce himself. Sometimes he ignored me and I was getting so frustrated because I thought he was being rude on purpose, but it took me a while to figure out that he was a shy guy. My friends kept encouraging me to talk to him and make a move because I wasn’t losing anything by doing so, but I am more traditional and I prefer when a man is the one to approach me.

    I was still observing his behavior around me and noticed that he was still acting the same way and still showing interest, but no communication was being made. One of his friends was even looking at me and smiling, as if he knew something. I also wanted to make sure that he wasn’t trying to flirt with any other girls and thankfully, he only had eyes for me. 🙂 After 4 months of the non-communication I finally decided to approach him, also because I didn’t want to have any regrets in my life. I had asked someone about him and they told me that he has a lot going for him and he’s working on several projects (work-wise). One night, he was working out right where he could see me, I ended up grabbing weights in that same area and we ran into each other. He said “hi” and smiled and I also said “hi” and smiled back at him, then I proceeded with conversation and said “I see you here all the time but I don’t know your name” and he sticks his hand out and goes “oh, I’m Jay” and I gave him my name and said “nice to meet you”. He looked nervous as hell so I continued the conversation asking about his work and his website. He told me the name of his website and he tried joking with me asking if I would remember. I told him “yes, I have pretty good memory”, he smiled and I told him that he can come and say hi any time, he smiled and said “ok I will”.

    We kept seeing each other again, but he still didn’t feel comfortable enough to come and say hi, but he was still working out in front of me hoping to get my attention. Two weeks later, he came to work out in front of me again…he went to get some water and looked at me and smiled and waved…I smiled and waved back and he just kept walking back and forth looking at me. I didn’t want to wait any longer so I just waved for him to come over. He ran over to me and again looked nervous…I said hello and he said hello back and smiled. I started conversing with him again asking about work and how he’s doing and he stared at me and said “wow, you’re really short…how tall are you?” I just looked at him and laughed at how cute he was, I knew he wasn’t trying to be rude, it was just the nerves talking. He was having a hard time giving me any eye contact during our conversation.

    After a few minutes of us talking, he told me he was going to finish working out and before he left I had my phone number written down on a piece of paper. I put the piece of paper in his hand and he was gripping my hand and smiling and I said “this might come in handy” and he sheepishly laughed. We said our goodbyes and I was excited to talk to him the next time. I knew he wasn’t going to text me right away, being he’s a shy guy and all, but I saw him at the gym again the next week and I tried not to be offended that he didn’t text me. He was still really cute and friendly…still coming around me and making it a point to see me and say hi. Well 2 weeks went by with no text and I see him again and he looks at me and smiles and he was trying to approach me. I went up to him and we talked and we shook hands again as that was his signal lol, then I welcomed him to text me, just in case he was still feeling nervous. When I told him that, he said “I will, I promise” and then I said “you will?” and he goes “I give you my word.”

    I still didn’t get any text from him and was still seeing him at the gym. I didn’t understand why he would say that if he had no intention of wanting to date me. He was still coming by me and saying hi. I was still friendly towards him but I decided not to do anything further since I did all I could and the rest was up to him to pursue me. One night, he randomly came up to me out of nowhere and said hello, smiled, we joked again and then he goes “I need to talk to you…I don’t want you to think I’m being an asshole because I know you gave me your number and I don’t want you to think “why hasn’t he hit me up”, I’m not that kind of guy that does that. But right now…I really don’t have time for anything else. I’m working 20 hour days and I’m working really had now so that I don’t have to work as hard in the next 5 years…I’m just being honest with you.”

    I was so shocked and blind-sided when he told me that. To be honest I was kind of heart-broken too. Why would he do all the things he did to get my attention? Why would he make it so obvious that he is interested and even attempt to approach me when he doesn’t have the time? If he knew he didn’t have the time from the very beginning, why would he even try to get my attention in the first place? If he didn’t make all those attempts, I never would’ve even tried approaching him let alone even talk to him. I’m just so pissed at how the whole situation ended. Then the next week he still shows up to the gym as if nothing happened, I felt so awkward. Yet he was still working out in front of me and staring and I was ignoring him of course because of how pissed I am. He obviously knows I’m annoyed, but I’m not really sure how he feels about it, I don’t even know if he cares. I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings on purpose and I don’t think he’s lying about being busy because I know he’s working a lot, I just wish he didn’t approach the situation the way he did. I’m still pretty angry and I’m not sure things will ever change between us.

  50. Alice on January 29, 2020 at 8:05 am

    Hello!!! I read this blog and it’s really amazing and helpful, I’m glad that you wrote something that would really help someone in life although, I wanted to know that what happens if this guy doesn’t open up? Thanks for the help!

  51. Dr. Diana Kirschner on January 29, 2020 at 11:40 am

    If he doesn’t open up, move on. There are lots of great guys out there, Alice!

  52. Francis @ How To Win A Man Over on May 30, 2020 at 11:57 am

    Being a shy guy myself I must start my submission here by agreeing that it’s often good to make the first on a man even being the person to give the first kiss. However it’s important that the be very careful and make sure that the man is somehow opening up gradually.

    The starting point should be his being more comfortable in the woman’s company and being able to respond to woman communication prompts. It is also important that woman try getting into his circle which will give her the opportunity to understand the man so as to be initiate discussions with him that he will naturally flow with

  53. makenna on November 13, 2020 at 12:15 am

    There is a guy I like, he randomly said I looked pretty and he asked if I wanted o work with him on a lab and he is an introvert and is very quiet, so is he interested

  54. SEO | Pearltrees on January 25, 2021 at 3:08 am

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