Five Harsh Facts Of Long Distance Relationships
The harsh facts of long distance relationships can be emotionally draining and challenging to overcome. Yet, despite their complexity, about 14 million couples in the U.S. say they live at least 100 miles or more apart from their partners. In this post, we’ll explore five reasons that contribute to a 40% break-up rate within an average of 5 months apart. In addition, we’ll also present a case study of one such couple that through coaching were able to weather the storm of separation.
The Harsh Facts of Long Distance Relationships: Significant Effort Required
Long distance relationships require more communication and more planning than other relationships. This means that partners in long distance relationships need to make a conscious effort to keep their connection strong, which can be difficult when they’re physically apart. Communication is key, so partners should make an effort to stay in touch frequently through phone calls, video chats, Zoom/Skype and text messages. It’s also important to establish clear expectations and boundaries, such as how often to visit each other. For example, the couples that break up within 5 months of being apart, are those that make little to no effort to communicate frequently.
The Harsh Facts of Long Distance Relationships: They Can Become Expensive
Another harsh fact of long distance relationships is that they can be expensive. The cost of travel, phone bills, and other expenses can add up quickly. According to a survey by the dating app Badoo, people in long distance relationships spend an average of $111 per month on travel alone. This financial burden can create additional stress and tension in the relationship especially if one of the partners is in school or struggling financially.
The Harsh Facts of Long Distance Relationships: Very Difficult for New Couples
Long distance relationships can be particularly difficult for couples who are just starting out. Without a strong foundation of trust and a ton of bonding, new couples are very vulnerable to break-ups.
The Harsh Facts of Long Distance Relationships: They’re Draining Emotionally
Another harsh reality of long distance relationships is that they can be emotionally draining. Not being able to see your partner on a regular basis can lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and frustration. In some cases, long distance relationships can even lead to depression and anxiety.
The Harsh Facts of Long Distance Relationships: No Clear End in Sight
Finally, long distance relationships can be particularly challenging when there is no clear end date in sight. In our experience, couples that are apart and have yet to define a clear end point to the separation, are more likely to fail. For example, couples that plan on moving in together, engagement or other forms of commitment are more likely to succeed when there is a specific end date in mind. Without a clear end goal, it can be difficult to stay motivated and committed to the relationship.
The Harsh Facts of Long Distance Relationships: Ellie and Tom Overcome Their Separation
Ellie and Tom are in a long distance relationship. They live and work in different cities and only see each other every few months. Ellie is struggling with the emotional strain of being apart from Tom, and she’s feeling lonely and isolated.
To deal with the emotional strain of the distance, Sarah also talks to one of our expert coaches who specializes in long distance relationships. Through coaching, Ellie learns coping strategies to manage her emotions during the times when she’s feeling lonely or sad. For example, her coach suggests meditation and encourages her to join a group where she can practice with others.
Ellie also decides to take up a new hobby – painting. She spends her evenings creating beautiful paintings and sharing them with Tom over video chats and Zoom. Tom is impressed by her talent and encourages her to keep painting. He surprises her by flying in for a weekend so that he can see her studio and take her to her favorite museum. And they also make time for plenty of kissing and making love.
Tom also talks to Ellie’s coach to get guidance. She encourages him to stay connected by scheduling regular phone calls and video chats (at least 5 times per week). Tom makes a real effort to save money for travel expenses.
Despite the challenges of their long distance relationship, the couple reunites after 6 months apart and move in together. They are now happily married.
In conclusion, while long distance relationships can be rewarding and fulfilling, they also come with their fair share of challenges. Couples living apart, must prepare to put in extra effort, deal with financial burdens, and navigate emotional ups and downs. With the right mindset, commitment, and support, however, long distance relationships can succeed and even thrive.
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As a relationship expert, I've helped thousands of women get the love they want-even when it seemed impossible. I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. You might know me from my PBS Special, seen me on Oprah, or have read one of my bestselling books.
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