Ask Dr. Diana: My Husband Has Wandering Eyes
Men with Wandering Eyes
Many couples face the problems caused by jealousy and let’s face it men who can’t stop checking out other women with their wandering eyes. It may have all started when you saw him looking at the hottie. And it went downhill from there. You may have made some jabbing accusations, started a yelling match, sulked or generally made your partner pay. You felt justified, righteous; worried and sure that your partner was in the wrong. What you really wanted was reassurance and love–the glorious unconditional kind. Sometimes you got it. Sometimes you didn’t.
Sound familiar? Most of us have had a few incidents with the green-eyed monster called jealousy. And some of us have had more than a few fights with our partner when we saw him with those wandering eyes. We all know that jealousy can cause painful heartbreak, scads of worry, out-of-control outbursts and setbacks in a relationship. It can even destroy love. But is it possible that any good can ever come out of jealousy in an intimate relationship?
The answer is YES! First, I want you watch this short vid. And if you want help dealing with jealousy and to learn how to Affair-Proof your couple, check out my relationship tips below.
Wandering Eyes: Ask Dr. Diana
The Cure for Wandering Eyes: Have an Affair with Your Partner
Cure for Wandering Eyes Tip 1. Ask yourself: What would I be doing or saying if right now if we were having an affair?
Then go for it!
What’s interesting about having an affair is that the partners are not automatically available to do the deed. The lingering touch, the sweet nibble on the ear, the deep French kiss may or may not go any farther. There is a playful novelty and uncertainty that drive up dopamine, the falling-in-love brain chemical that is synonymous with anticipation, excitement, and focus on the Beloved. Infatuation sizzles.
Cure for Wandering Eyes Tip 2. Make Physical Contact
Sex begins with physical contact. In fact, couples with great sex lives often are the ones you see holding hands and touching in public. As we’ve discussed, physical nonsexual contact creates oxytocin, the cuddle, bonding, and trust hormone. In order to amplify this even more, if he is receptive, hold hands, kiss, or stroke his face. His hands, lips, and face are all highly touch-sensitive areas! Gazing into his eyes also releases oxytocin and is an extremely powerful bonding move.
For example, in one study, strangers shared intimate details about themselves and then stared into each other’s eye for four minutes. Many reported being extremely attracted to each other. One couple in the study actually got married! that’s how powerful gazing can be.
More Contact Sports
Trace the outline of his bicep with your finger or give him a mini massage on his neck and shoulders. Find out what kind of touch he enjoys: stronger, softer, or in between. You both will feel great as the oxytocin works its magic.
On the other hand, many men don’t like to be touched unless it’s on the playing field (why do they slap each other’s butts?) or in the sack. Yet they crave contact with us. And it’s often communicated in a strange way.
And be sure to read my article Four Ways to Turn Jealousy Around. It might just save your relationship.
ATTRACT THE ONE AND CREATE THE LASTING RELATIONSHIP YOU DESIRE
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Dr. Diana Kirschner
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.
“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.