Dating Advice: Is Taking a Break Ruining Your Chances of Finding the One?
Do you need dating advice about taking a break from apps, online sites and all the frustration they bring? Are you tired of guys behaving badly, of guys who don’t look like their profile photo, of disappointing dates, of the ones who ghost and disappear on you? Have you lost all hope of meeting the One?
You may be resigning yourself to being single. Or you’re even considering reaching deep into your savings and hiring a matchmaker. But then you figure, no, you’ll just put more focus on your career or job. On the upside, you have total freedom to do what you want. And you’ll never have to share a closet. You’re thinking, “I don’t NEED a man. I’ll be fine on my own.”
I get it.
And while I believe you can create an amazing life without a beloved partner, I know that deep down, you really do want to be with someone.
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So here are six pieces of dating advice to use when you are thinking about taking a break or just want to say F#&k-it to dating. And after you’re done with this post be sure to watch the video below on taking a break from dating.
Dating Advice about Taking a Break, Tip 1. Make it all fun.
Often when we are tired of dating, it’s because we’re taking things too seriously and getting attached to an outcome. Don’t go into every date hoping this man is your potential husband. Or even looking for signs that he is the One. If so, you’re bound to feel disappointed if he doesn’t measure up to that picture. And that adds tons more pressure to the date. So just relax and enjoy the process.
Dating Advice about Taking a Break, Tip 2. Understand that dating is a numbers game. Lower your expectations!
Dating is truly a numbers game, where you want to meet lots of guys to get to the prince. To avoid burn out, lower your expectations and look to rule guys out! You want to make quick coffee dates to confirm that each new guy is not the One! As you work through the numbers you will be one step closer to meeting your true soulmate.
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Dating Advice about Taking a Break, Tip 3. Make yourself happy
The more fun you have in general and the more you do things to please yourself, the more ideal men you’ll attract. So, choose something right now that you know would make you ecstatic and do it. Maybe it’s taking that trip you’ve been dreaming about. Or treating yourself to a massage and splurging on a new pair of shoes. In other words, go for something that makes you happy.
Dating Advice about Taking a Break, Tip 4. Commit to the process.
The reality is you have to stay in the game. For example, you cannot go on an occasional date and say you’re really trying. In other words, women should treat dating like they would a job search. If you wanted a new job, you’d keep going to interviews and keep networking until you found the right one. Some interviews might go horribly. While other positions just wouldn’t be a good fit. You expect not to get every job. But you’d keep at it knowing there’s no ifs, ands, or buts. You will find a new job.
And if it wasn’t working out, you’d ask for help. You’d enlist a mentor or friend for help with your interviewing skills and your resume.
Dating Advice about Taking a Break, Tip 5. Consider your blind spots
Let’s face it: You can’t solve a problem with the same kind of thinking you used to create it. And it’s true! The reality is, you’re a smart, successful woman who gets results in your life. If you knew there was something you could do to get off this merry-go-round of dead-end dating and meet your true equal, you’d do it. So, I invite you to consider that there may be something you don’t know that you don’t know and that something is keeping you from the One. We all have blind spots which keep us stuck. The way to get around them is to get support from someone who has some expertise. Perhaps, a friend or coach who was once in your shoes. And is now happily married.
If you don’t have a friend who can help, I will gift you with a match to one of my expert dating coaches. Sign up for a complimentary session to break free of what’s holding you back from the One, once and for all.
Dating Advice about Taking a Break, Tip 6. Stay open to the possibilities
Remember that love often comes in surprise packages. Often times, when you’re tired of dating, it’s because you’re stuck in a pattern of dating a certain type. If you’re tired of dating guys who make their work their biggest priority, try dating someone who doesn’t dream of being the next Warren Buffet. On the other hand, if the artsy, spiritual guys keep flaking, try dating someone who has a more cerebral job. So if you keep ending up with guys who freak out about intimacy, try dating someone who is a bit more available and affectionate.
Bottom line: Don’t quit before the Miracle of Love finds you!
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PS: Here is a video filled with dating advice about taking a break!
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As a relationship expert, I've helped thousands of women get the love they want-even when it seemed impossible. I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. You might know me from my PBS Special, seen me on Oprah, or have read one of my bestselling books.
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Aaaaand sometimes you just need a break. After awhile, certain truths emerge about online dating. Truths like the fact that it becomes a job. Like, you just get sick and tired of men reacting aggressively when you turn them down, because abuse sucks. Like, discouragement 500 times in a row is exhausting. Like, sometimes it’s best to just put dating aside long enough to take care of one’s other needs. So powering through isn’t always the best option. Sometimes powering off is best. At this point, I think I’d lose my mind and my sense of self if I took the advice in this article.
Thanks for weighing in Meg! Yes, sometimes it can be a very good idea to just take a complete break. If you are encountering a lot of sh*t at any one time and feeling burnt out, it can be important to step away and concentrate on yourself for a while. Self-Love is the ultimate key, when it comes right down to it.