Journaling Your Way to Love: Dating Advice For Women

journaling to great love

The power of journaling to great love

Journaling to great love is one of the ways our coaching clients use to break out of their dating patterns. For example, Rachel, used journaling on her journey to creating an extraordinary love relationship.  How?  She took on two specifics type of journaling to great love exercises. The first one is called, “The Loveless Eulogy” that I describe in the dating advice book, Love in 90 Days.  In this journaling exercise you fast forward to a vision of the life that your deadly dating patterns, fear and self sabotage have laid out for you. In fact, a loveless life.  And you write your own eulogy. So you can then decide if this is the reality you want to live into.

I wanted to share Rachel’s journaling with you (with her permission, of course!)

Journaling to Great Love Exercise #1

As much as she outwardly proclaimed her love optimism, inwardly, she was the consummate pessimist. She would bristle when confronted with this possibility, and intellectually would qualify her pessimism as being more akin to realism.  This conflict of head and heart was terribly confusing to her friends, her partners, and mostly to herself. Yet, it was simply too difficult for her to change. Her indelible conclusion was that if she truly gave her heart, it ultimately would not be wanted by the one she offered it to. And so, instead of having faith in love and holding hope in the face of set-backs and disappointments, she allowed those set-backs and disappointments to erect an impenetrable wall around her heart. She became lost in the grief of rejection that she assumed would happen.

The truest of tragedies about all of this is that Rachel had an infinite capacity for love. Indeed, if you asked her what she believed her soul’s purpose was, it was for love. But she lived too much in her head by over thinking love. If only she had listened to her heart and quieted her frightened, doubtful mind, she could have taken the leap. She could have found the faith that was barely beyond her grasp.

Final Eulogy

Rachel died a woman of dichotomy,  who on the outside lived a decent life with friends, family, a well-appointed home, adventures and travels; many outward achievements that marked her life. Yet her heart died lonely and unfulfilled. Her stubborn mind controlled the romantic spirit and wore down her belief that love could be received by her. When she had the chance to change her mind, she chose to remain in the emotional prison she had created. That’s the most profound loss of it all; it was she who chose her own loneliness.

Journaling to Great Love Exercise #2

Rachel also worked very closely with her expert Dating Coach. And then she tackled the next journaling to great love exercise called the Right Time to Believe in Love. 

This journaling exercise is every bit as humbling as the previous one. I will say that I believe I am ready for a relationship, yet is anyone ever completely ready? Are not the dynamics unpredictable when two hearts, minds, and spirits interact teach and learn from each other? You simply don’t know until you dive in and try. That’s my lesson from our Love Mentoring® work so far. To strip away the shroud of fears. And jump with joyful faith into the risk. I believe I’m far better prepared to flow with the give and take of relating.

I am more emotionally equipped to be a solid partner. I’m really dealing with my core fears and killer belief of “the chase me problem.” Today, I feel stronger, more in tune with my authentic best self. My Love Mentoring experience is being noticed by others. I can say that the issues raised by my partner were key.  They have haunted me long enough. So each day I exert my will into resolving these issues permanently. I can honestly say that I’m ready for a great love relationship.

Bottom Line:

Rachel, has inspired many readers through her courageous journaling to great love work! This post on the power of journaling to great love is one of many stories by our coaches and clients. For more, go to our case studies blog.

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Dr. Diana Kirschner

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.” ~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.

2 Comments

  1. AS on August 31, 2011 at 9:19 am

    Thank you for sharing this story and reminding us that we can have the love that we desire. We simply need to have faith and be open & receptive to receiving it. There’s always a risk that it may not work out as how we anticipated it, but it’s better to have taken that leap of faith than always wonder what if…



  2. arial on September 9, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    Thanks for the nice information that you have for me to get moving on with my life in the way i want to. I will be reading up more information from you and will reply once i have completed these tasks.