The Rise of Single Dad Households
More and more fathers have full or joint custody of children. Chances are high that you may find yourself dating a single dad. If you don’t have kids yourself, this can be both exciting and daunting.
Nine Tips To Keep in Mind When Dating a Single Dad
1. Slow and steady wins the race. Often a single dad who is looking for a long-term relationship will take things slower. Be patient. He isn’t going to introduce you from day one! A good dad will be protective of his children. And that’s what you want!
2. Be flexible. One of the hardest parts of dating a single dad may be that the kids are of course are a major priority. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t have space in his heart to love you, it’s just that he won’t be able to drop everything for a romantic getaway or spend endless hours on the phone with you.
3. Ask him about his kids. You’re probably already doing this, but I didn’t want to skip over it. A single dad who has long-term relationship potential will want to tell you about his kids. Make an effort to get to know about them before you meet them.
4. Validate how wonderful his kids are, even if he complains about them. He may say negative things, but it’s not okay for you to say negative things about them. Be positive and accepting about them.
5. When the time comes to meet the kids, be ready with a thoughtful gift. Come in to meeting them full of appreciation and thoughtful presence. Give them something small that shows you already know a bit about them.
Dating A Single Dad: Dealing With His Kids
6. Don’t make any suggestions about parenting the kids until you’re married to this guy! Leave all that to him.
7. When dating a single dad, don’t discipline his kids. As the relationship grows and you spend more time with the kids, you want to position yourself as the more accepting, loving one and (hopefully) he’ll be the disciplinarian. All too often, I’ve seen women try step into the role of a second parent by telling the kids what they should and shouldn’t do. Often they’re just trying to be helpful, but it backfires with the kids.
8. Make sure you’re validating, encouraging and appreciative to both the children and the children’s mother. You don’t ever want to enter the role of the wicked stepmother. Instead bring love and more possibilities for joy to the whole family.
9. When you are dating a single dad and if his ex is making his life hell, be a great sounding board and give him lots of empathy.
Dating a single dad can be an amazing experience
Dating a single dad can be so fulfilling as they bond with you. You will have a whole new life of sharing your love with children. Even if it seems daunting at first, give it a chance. Check out this video on dating a man with kids.
And to help you with this complex relationship I’ve trained my coaches with the best tools I know of. So many women in our Love Mentoring® coaching program have grown to absolutely love their guy’s kids as their own.