Can Twin Flames Fall Out of Love?
Can Twin Flames Fall Out of Love?
Twin Flames are the super soulmates of true love. But can twin flames fall out of love? It truly seems impossible because of the depth of the connection. Author Karen Ross describes it this way:
“Our souls already know each other, don’t they?’ he whispered. ‘It’s our bodies that are new.”
Twin Flames are matches who experience themselves as two halves of the same soul. Whether you understand this literally or figuratively, the idea is that these lovers share one soul in two bodies. As the mystic poet Tagore wrote:
“I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.”
What is a Twin Flame Relationship?
Perhaps you are involved with a guy who you feel like you have known forever. You have this profound sense of coming home when you are with this person. He completes you at the deepest level, makes you whole again in a way that no one else can. Even from the very first moment you met you feel the special twin flame bond that is more intense than any connection you have ever felt before.
In a twin flame relationship you can be fully real and authentic. You can fully feel your feelings and share even your most private thoughts. There seems to be a psychic connection. You can sense your partner psychically—know what they are thinking, what they are feeling, what they will do, sometimes even before they do.
With twin flames there is an overwhelming pull to be together, to be in each other’s presence, to be intimate, to be fully sexual. You are preoccupied with this person, thinking about them, taking care of them, planning and dreaming for and with them. Often you both have the same thoughts, reactions and feelings . The feeling of oneness is fantastic, a great bliss.
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But then things start to fall apart. You begin to wonder, can twin flames fall out of love?
When Twin Flames Flicker
It seems too horrible a thought to be true. And yet a twin flame is so similar to you that they share some of your own faults and character defects. And that may be the root of potential problems. When you look at this person, you see yourself—including all the ugly bits, the parts that bring you upset and shame. So what happens when you see the parts of yourself that you don’t like? The parts that you hide? The parts that you criticize and judge harshly. Maybe it is about being undisciplined, eating or drinking too much, being fearful, undisciplined or procrastinating. As you begin to experience these in your partner, you judge them and feel turned off. You start to question, can twin flames fall out of love?
This could, in fact, be what is beginning to happen. But it also takes a major blow to get twin flames to fall out of love. Which can happen when your beloved twin flame cheats, betrays, or leaves you. Or becomes an alcoholic, drug addict, food, gambling or sex addict (which is equal to abandonment, as he becomes married to his fix rather than to you). If there are major obstacles like these it causes a shock that can short circuit any feeling of love you have for your partner.
Then, when you wonder, can twin flames fall out of love, the answer is YES.
Can Twin Flames Fall Out of Love? Betrayed By Your Twin Flame
Because the connected state of twin souls is so heavenly, sublime, unique and special that a profound betrayal is even more devastating. The fall from grace and happiness is extreme and the heartbreak seems like hell itself. The grieving lonely state is very stark and shocking. Because the relationship was so special and seems irreplaceable, It feels like even more is lost. That one is doomed to wander the earth alone, lonely and with half of oneself missing. With a huge gaping hole in the center of oneself. Often at this point the person who is hurt begins to feel hatred toward their twin flame for causing so much agony.
But with twin flames, even in the face of this horror there may still be attachment at a subterranean, semi-conscious level. Often at this point of betrayal, a twin flame cannot truly leave the relationship.
Even though you get a strong yes when you ask yourself can twin flames fall out of love?
After a big betrayal, you don’t like this person very much. You feel like you have fallen out of love with them. But you feel like a slave to the connection. You get despondent, maybe even suicidal if you feel like you are losing them. You can’t let go. It becomes like a yo-yo relationship where you bounce back and forth. Deciding you can’t put up with them and trying to leave or actually leaving. Then feeling the horrendous sting and suffering of loss, followed by a strong pull, like you must go back to being with them, even against your will.
Ask for Help
You feel like you have no choice in the matter. You can’t leave. But you can’t be with them. This is the worst kind of torture. You don’t like your twin flame, you don’t feel like you love them on a day to day basis. But at the very core there is a kind of love, an attachment that doesn’t and will never go away.
Then when you ask yourself, can twin flames fall out of love, the answer is, maybe never!
At this point it is absolutely necessary to get professional help and support. And it is a great time to enter Love Mentor coaching. Because left to your own devices, you could suffer in this yo-yo relationship for years. And many women do.
With support, you can reclaim your own wholeness and actually put growth pressure on the relationship with your twin flame by taking firm and strong moves away from the relationship. Moves that are made not in a sea of emotional drama, but in a state of your own self-love. These steps, which I call Facing Loss Action Steps, can show your twin flame what life is like without you. He may then rise to the occasion, cut off his acting out, treat his addiction and make amends for hurting you. If this happens both of you can cultivate a new love and bounce back together better than ever! I describe this process of recovery in my newly reissued book, Love in 90 Days.
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Can Twin Flames Fall Out of Love? Twelve Action Steps You Can Take
Below are 12 steps you can take to back away from your twin flame. Don’t make angry or idle threats; just solid moves in the direction of the impending breakup. This backing away falls along a continuum of possibilities from less harsh to a total separation. You can start with the first steps or further along as you see fit and the circumstances demand. For example, if he’s distanced himself but still expects to see you Saturday night, cancel the date. Or tell him that you can’t help him with his project or run his errand. If the relationship has deteriorated to the point where he’s stopped being affectionate with you or stopped having sex with you, tell him you’ll be dating other men. Or if you’re living together, sleep in the other room and so on. Show him what he’ll be losing when you’re completely gone.
Here are the steps on the fear-of-loss continuum:
- Stop texting, emailing or phoning him
- Cancel dates
- Be less available for help when he needs it
- Be less affectionate
- Stop sex
- Tell him you will be dating others
- Stop sleepovers
- If you are living together, sleep in the next room
- Leave the home and spend a night at a nice hotel
- Start packing up your stuff or his stuff
- If living together, move out or ask him to move out
- Cut off all contact with him
Follow Your Intuition & Guidance
You need to follow your intuition in taking these actions. Since it is extremely difficult, do it one day at a time. Just for today, make the commitment; I will have no contact with him. Or, just for today, I will switch any thought I have of him to thoughts of appreciation for my Love Mentor coach or put my attention on other men. Day-by-day you will make progress.
In addition, praying or working a spiritual program every day can help to fill the hole left by the relationship. This method is similar to the powerful processes used for overcoming addictions. If you take this route, you will be more self-loving , self-respecting and stronger.
And your twin flame may very well rise to the occasion, work on himself and become the great partner you deserve.
Then when you wonder, can twin flames fall out of love, the answer will be yes. If you and your twin flame are struggling or have separated, please take advantage of our free relationship coaching strategy session. My expert Love Mentors may be able to reconnect you with your love.
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Dr. Diana Kirschner
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.
“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.