Breaking Up Quiz: 20 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Do
The Breaking Up Quiz
These days breaking up and divorce have become so socially acceptable that many couples who could work things out wind up dissolving their unions. And often there is a big price to pay. As a psychologist and Love Mentor I’ve seen too many people regret ending their relationships. So I decided to construct a breaking up quiz to help our coaching clients and readers of this blog.
Usually the breaking up process is quite painful. They suffer with financial setbacks, emotional breakdowns and if they have kids, children’s adjustment problems. Often they wind up alone and unhappy for years. And if they are not self-reflective and transform themselves as opposed to blaming their partners, they usually end up making the same mistakes again and again with different partners. If you have any doubts about this, check out the divorce rates for second and third marriages. So here’s my 20 question breaking up quiz
The 20 Question Breaking Up Quiz
Before you leap back into being single contemplate these 20 questions. Be as honest as you can be and preferably ask your best friend, one of my expert love mentors, a 12 step sponsor, or therapist to help you answer them honestly.
Breaking Up Quiz Part 1
- Have you searched within to see if you have given your all to this relationship?
- Did you set aside time to be alone as a couple to continue your bond and friendship?
- Were you clear and upfront in explaining what you wanted and needed from your partner?
- Did you make a serious attempt to provide what your partner wanted and needed?
- Noticed and appreciated the helpful or caring things he/she has done?
- Tried out the viewpoint that everything your partner complains about is legitimate and something you need to be working on?
- Have you tried treating him/her lovingly, the way you would like to be treated?
- Checked to see if your partner is growing as a person?
- Is your partner becoming someone who could have a more loving relationship with you?
- Have you worked on forgiving and being forgiven in the relationship?
Breaking Up Quiz: Part 2
- 11. If you or your partner had an affair is it this event that is the primary reason for the breakup? Even affairs can be forgiven, if there is true remorse. Many times with the proper counseling the whole relationship can be turned around and get better after an affair.
12. Did you express more gratitude or criticism in the relationship?
13. Tell your partner directly that the problems in the relationship were so severe that you wanted out?
14. If there are sexual problems, did you try your best to work on them?
15. Did you try to create chemistry and attraction?
16. Set aside time for sex?
17. Did you spend time teaching each other how to give sensual and sexual pleasure?
18. Or spend quality time really listening and paying close attention to your partner?
19. Have you made personal changes as per your partner’s suggestions that would be in your best interest?
20. Have you seen or spoken to a couples therapist or love mentor and given it your best shot?
Breaking Up Quiz Answer Key
So if you cannot answer “yes” to most of these questions, reconsider ending the relationship. In fact, you may be able to save yourself (and your kids) from huge financial and emotional heartaches. And to help you sort through and work on the issues/behaviors in the breaking up quiz, here’s my gift to you. Now you can have a free one-on-one coaching strategy session with an expert relationship coach.
A Coaching Client Who Used the Breaking up Quiz
Here’s a letter from Robin who was in our Love Mentoring program. Through coaching she stopped herself from breaking up with a great guy who she ended up marrying:
“Love Mentoring paved the way for marriage. That guidance helped me get over my tendency to blame the other person and wanting to be right. Nurturing loving guidance combined with a firm hand in letting me know when I was being a spoiled brat allowed me to look at my own patterns from a neutral perspective. I learned that I deserve to be supported on all levels, including financially. And, that I could have a true reciprocal loving partnership. Our wedding was spectacular and I couldn’t be any happier!”
Sign up for your Gift Breakthrough-to-Love Session Here!
As a relationship expert, I've helped thousands of women get the love they want-even when it seemed impossible. I'm Dr. Diana Kirschner. You might know me from my PBS Special, seen me on Oprah, or have read one of my bestselling books.
I want to do everything I can to give you hands-on personalized support that will make a lasting difference.
That's why I'm excited to offer a FREE 40 minute Breakthrough-to-Love-Coaching Session via Skype, Zoom or phone.
During your powerful and dynamic one-on-one session, we will help you with your unique relationship or dating situation. You'll walk away inspired, with a clear step-by-step path forward to move through any obstacles and get the love you want.
Here's what women like you are saying:
"My session was an incredible game-changer! I was finally able to see a way forward with my boyfriend and he has proposed!
I'm very grateful!" -Jenn in New Mexico
"I was fifty-two years old with a career that was enviably successful. But my love life was not. And I couldn't figure out why. As my love mentor, Diana helped me understand that I not only deserved to have but could have a strong, loving life partner who would always be there for me. I found true love in three months! And after 4 plus years of marriage, my husband and I still pinch ourselves every day to make sure that it's not a dream!" - Midge Woolsey
i read your book and think it will take some work, but I am a guy and i don’t know if your prescriptions work for men. What can men do?
The strategies in the book work well for men too! You just have to be more proactive in the dating.
So I took the quiz and had yes answers to almost all the questions the problem is that my girlfriend just ended our relationship and will not even talk to me per the advice of her therapist . I know we had a great thing going she just kept saying she was worried about how are families would get along. She insisted that they would not .but we rally never confronted this problem head on and I think that if we all were to work on it it is a solvable problem. How do I get her to see that? I really need your help .
Please go ahead and work on the list. If things do not improve, take a break from seeing him.
Wishing you love!
Most of these things I haven’t tried, but we have a great relationship and we have great sex and we almost never fight, but I feel like I’m just losing interest. little things he does always annoy me and I feel like he loves me more than I love him. But I’m not sure I want to end it because he’s my best friend. I wish I could just be best friends with him without dating him, but I know that could never happen. What should I do? should I end it or stick with him? we’ve been together for 9 months.