The Boomer Dating World

Today’s boomer dating world doesn’t remotely resemble the one you knew. How proactive are women supposed to be? Is the third-date rule (for having sex) still in effect? Just how do you handle an HIV discussion? Is online dating reliable, safe, or even effective? And all these questions and difficulties are magnified for female Boomers, who outnumber their male counterparts and also have to compete with younger women.

Yet there are many Boomers dating, including women, that have gone out there. And had the fun and excitement of their teenage years all over again. With the wisdom of experience, dating is even better! A 54 year-old artist recently e-mailed me about her new Boomer dating boyfriend:

Joe adores me. He tells me I am a treasure, a rare beauty. I make him feel alive after so many years of being dead. Joe loves my voice, my thoughts, my work. He bought riding boots and we went riding together. His 95-year-old mom in Miami wants to see my photo.

Why Men like Women Boomers

Once you take the boomer dating plunge, you may be very pleasantly surprised at the possibilities, especially in online dating. Women over 40 often report that once they start, they feel more confident, more clear about what they want and therefore, more attractive! Female Boomers are more empowered and more affluent than ever before. The good news is that often, younger women cannot compete with them for a male Boomer’s attention. The thirty-somethings are too active and demanding in terms of nightlife and other activities, whereas a Boomer man may prefer the seasoned wise companionship of a woman who has been there and done that. In other words, both male and female Boomers are in a position to pick and choose who they want to date. And there is plenty to pick and choose from. A recent survey showed that 70 percent of single Boomers actively date. Match.com indicates that the 50+ singles segment is its fastest-growing niche.

Shirley, a 50-year-old divorcee who is in our Love Mentoring program writes:

I just met another amazing guy. This one actually was suggested by Match. I winked. He e-mailed. I e-mailed back. He called me and we had a fabulous conversation. He was so easy to talk to and seemed honest and sincere. I asked some pretty blunt questions that he happily answered in good detail. And he’s tall! He created a business and sold it in a few years ago because he had plenty of money and wanted to do something else. On the other hand, Bill, the writer, is coming out this afternoon. We are going to the beach. Bill says that he has written a poem for me…

So, what are you waiting for? Join the party! And to help you on your boomer dating journey watch this clip from my PBS show.

Finding Your Own True Love.

If you are interested in a long-term relationship, then my boomer dating advice to you is this: See several people at once and hold off on the sex. The three-date rule, which says you need to have sex by the third date to show interest, no longer applies. You can take your time. For more tips on boomer dating go to baby boomer dating.