7 Keys for Moving on After Divorce or a Break Up
Have you tried to move on after a divorce or breakup?
Moving on after a divorce or breakup isn’t easy. Just ask Kate. Kate is a wonderful blue-eyed marketing professional just shy of 40. Five years ago, her then husband announced he wanted a divorce. Then she discovered he had been cheating with one particular woman. Sending her whole life into a topsy-turvy. All the plans they made to have kids and get a vacation home in Hawaii dissipated, disappeared, just like that. And Kate was left to move back to her hometown.
As I’m sure you can imagine, Kate was devastated. But, she pulled herself together bit by bit and has now created an amazing life. She did some therapy to help heal the divorce. Made new friends. Reached a new level in her career. Even bought an amazing house.
The only thing missing was love. Kate truly wants to find someone and is frustrated. She’s the first to admit that most of the guys she meets aren’t good enough. And the ones she really likes. Well, they aren’t exactly single. After years of therapy and working on herself, she wonders what’s blocking her from love.
Can you relate? Does it feel like you’ve tried everything to get over that divorce or break up? But your ex is quietly haunting you!
Kate Tries a Relationship Coach
On the recommendation of a friend, Kate recently started working with one of my expertly trained Love Mentor® Dating Coaches. It’s been just a few sessions now but things are already starting to shift in Kate’s dating life. For the first time in years, she’s beginning to feel optimistic about men and marriage. That’s why I was inspired to write this blog for you!
Seven Key Steps for Moving on after Divorce or Heartbreak
Moving on after Divorce 1. Get support
Kate did the right thing by doing some therapy around her divorce. Just be sure to choose a therapist who is more action-oriented. Don’t spend countless sessions just analyzing your break up. You’re not going to make a lot of progress that way. If that’s happening, it may be time to find a new therapist or Love Mentor® Coach.
Moving on after Divorce 2. Surround yourself with positive people.
As it’s often said, we’re the product of the five people we spend the most time with. So don’t spend a lot of time around women who are always complaining about men and divorce. Simply put, you will absorb some of that negative energy. Don’t you have enough of that blackness already? I highly recommend that you find fun friends. Women who are happily dating or who have been through a divorce and are now happily remarried.
Moving on after Divorce 3.Focus on becoming your best self.
After heartbreak, you may start to define yourself as rejected or damaged goods. This is so not true! Remember you get to determine how you perceive things. What if this was a whole new opportunity to create an incredible, refreshing life? Also remember that you are not alone in having lost someone close. All of us have.
Besides, divorce is incredibly common. There’s nothing “wrong” with you. So, right now, I want you to make a list of what you want most for yourself. What would make you beam with happiness? A makeover? Some new clothes? Who do you want to be? More generous? More fun? How can you live into that?
Moving on after Divorce 4. Try something totally, completely new!
Always wanted to go blonde? Dreamed about a trip to Africa? Has a marathon been on your bucket list for ages? Wish you could get a dog? Now is the time to take some action! Make a list. Commit to doing something new every month.
Moving on after Divorce 5. Date for FUN and against type!
Give up seeing every potential date as a future husband who could break your heart. This only leads you to start analyzing him and the relationship. Right now, accept any offer that seems fun. Commit to dating around this way for a few months. Tell each guy on the second date that you like them but just want to let them know you’ve made a promise to yourself to date around for awhile. Not only will this help you relax, it will inspire the right guys to step up and pursue! To learn more about the dating program of three ,make sure you are a regular reader of the finding the one blog.
Moving on After Divorce 6. Give up comparisons.
Every time you find yourself comparing a guy to your ex, STOP! Remember, you cannot know someone in a handful of dates.
Moving on After Divorce 7. Create a love intention.
What do you want when it comes to a relationship? For example, “I meet a loyal, fun-loving, supportive man and we are in a true partnership with extraordinary love”. You can practice a daily love affirmation right here.
ATTRACT THE ONE AND CREATE THE LASTING RELATIONSHIP YOU DESIRE
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Dr. Diana Kirschner
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.
“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.