4 Things that Happen When You Find the Right One
4 Things that Happen When You Find the Right One
Dating can be so very confusing. How do you know for sure when you find the right one? You meet someone and the chemistry is off the charts. You share five-hour dates. Conversations that never end. A kiss that is off the charts. You have the same goals and values and vision. You think, this is the right One! And then, sooner rather than later, poof, he disappears into smoke and ghosts away. You wonder, how do you know when you find the right one?
In this blog I cover four things that happen when you find the right one. There are no guarantees, but these are markers that this person could be the real deal!
1.When you find the right one: You feel like you’ve met someone who could be a great friend.
You like him as a person. You respect what he is doing with his life. Over time, you discover that you speak the same language. Share some of the same interests, values and goals. You can be real and authentic with him. There is more ease, more playfulness and less anxiety. You just love being together and don’t need to have fancy dates or dinners. The miracle is that you can truly be yourself, be in the moment and have great laughs and loads of fun– even when you are just going for a walk or getting ice cream cones.
2.When you find the right one: He seems crazy about you.
He gets you and values all the wonderful quirks and gifts you have. He is eager to see you and reluctant to leave you. In fact, he maintains regular contact via text and phone. You are not left waiting for a text or call or date that never happens. He gives you compliments about your personality, your appearance, your fun-factor. And how he loves to kiss you.
When you find the right one, he gazes at you lovingly from time to time. You’re less worried about the connection and whether it is real or not, because he is so validating. Because you basically feel chosen already.
3.When you find the right one: There is chemistry and you feel attracted to him.
But the chemistry is not over the top, where you wind up jumping into bed in a heartbeat. And maybe you don’t feel chemistry all the time. However, it does sparkle up in a strong way. Maybe at the first kiss or the first act of making love. And there is more and more chemistry over time. Rather than a super hot flame-out vibe, there is more of a sincere, loving sexy vibe.
4.When you find the right one: Over time it feels like you are in love with your partner.
The world starts to light up and look like a much better place. You see more beauty all around you. You feel more joy and happiness. More contentment. More hopeful about the future. Better about yourself too!
These are four things that happen when you find the right one. However, they may not all happen right away. You may meet a wonderful guy who is like a great friend and crazy about you, but there is not that much chemistry. If so, give it a chance. The chemistry can grow! Here is how to help it along.
What to do when you find the right one, but there is not that much chemistry at first
Go on dates that are exciting, novel, and get the adrenaline pumping. This simulates the speedy brain chemistry of love. Go on a roller coaster at the amusement park, rock climbing at your gym, take a helicopter ride, try hiking on a high, winding trail or windsurfing, make a mad dash to catch the sunset at the beach, scream yourselves silly at a football game or the racetrack. Studies show that people who are emotionally aroused, whether by joy, fear, or any feeling, fall in love more easily. As two love researchers once wrote, “Adrenaline makes the heart grow fonder.”
Second, see him in his element. Plan a date around skiing, a performance of his rock band, a wine-tasting event, or whatever he excels at. You will catch sides of him you haven’t seen before. His personal power and charisma will be at their height and just may open up a host of juicy feelings.
Third, to open up chemistry, try turning yourself on first. Go on a date wearing your sexiest lingerie under your clothes. Flirt with him, get touchy-feely, whisper in his ear, and maybe kiss him. If he suddenly comes back with some sensual, sweet, mind-blowing moves, your “chemistry experiment” may prove to be a sparkling success! For other ideas about how to spark chemistry with a good man be sure to pick up a copy of Love in 90 Days.
Here’s a short video on What Happens When You Find the Right One that will help bring it all home for you:
When you find the right one, and the chemistry is in place, you will be over the moon. You truly deserve lasting passionate love with someone who is crazy about you! If you’re facing challenges with finding the right one, have a free Love Mentoring® session by phone or Skype with one of expert dating and relationship coaches. They’ve worked with tens of thousands of women and many have found the right One.
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Dr. Diana Kirschner
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.
“Diana Kirschner’s work is life-changing, love-affirming and wonderfully effective.”
~Dr. Christiane Northrup, Internationally bestselling author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.