“Several years ago, my cousin, Jonny, gave me a Mr. Wonderful doll for Christmas. I had no idea what a hit Mr. Wonderful was making around the country. He was a hunky male who, when his palm was pressed, uttered phrases like, “Let’s just cuddle tonight.” Or “Actually, I’m not sure which way to go. I’ll turn in here and ask for directions.” “Honey, why don’t you just relax and let me make dinner tonight” or “Can your mother stay another week?”
Funny, huh? Not really…obviously, I didn’t have a Mr. Wonderful nor was one coming any time soon. What’s wrong with just cuddling or asking for directions or making dinner? Forget the one about my mother staying for another week….even I would have to veto that! I felt like if I had a guy who came home and said, “Honey, you’ve been on my mind all day. That’s why I bought you these flowers,” I would be his adoring slave FOREVER!!! Of course, that would be after he brought me back to consciousness. But, as we know, men and women are just wired differently.
Really? I have to say I’m being challenged in that belief by my Love Mentor. Perhaps, we’re not all that different after all. Maybe, it’s that each of us is unique with our little idiosyncrasies that develop over a lifetime. Maybe, it’s not so much about being a male or a female. Maybe, it’s more about finding the person who makes life a little easier, a little more fun, a little more meaningful. Finding the person who you can’t wait to share your piece of news with. Or the person who makes you feel completely content just sitting next to him. As you know I’m writing this in my 60s.
I’ve been independent for 16 years… sometimes, happily so and sometimes, reluctantly. I don’t think that I ever lost that joy for life…. the ability to wake up happy every morning and look forward to whatever the day brings. I don’t think being single made me think my life was terribly lacking in any way. But, doesn’t a great love bring us closer to our higher selves? When I was 18, I read Gibran just like every college freshman and his writing on Sorrow really stuck with me. In fact, it’s been my mantra for life, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy it can contain.”
There has been great sorrow in my life… almost always followed by great joy… the yin and the yang. You just can’t have one without the other. And, so I’ve waited and waited… sixteen years… for the great joy that follows the great sorrow.
Then, I met a man online and we started to go out on dates. He started saying things like…”Mmmm….you look so beautiful in the morning.” “You know, I think it’s really important that we talk about our relationship. Or “Tell me whatever you’re feeling. I believe in total honesty.” Can you imagine? Well, it’s for real. and he’s for real. OH MY GOD!!!! HE’S HERE!!! MR. WONDERFUL IS HERE!!!”
Thanks, Brenda, for this inspirational story! And if you want a free 40 minute session with your own love mentor click here.
Wishing you great love,
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. has been a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & is the creator of global free love mentoring sessions, author of the highly acclaimed relationship advice book, “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” as well as the best-selling dating advice book, “Love in 90 Days.” Dr. Diana’s revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love and dating. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship Tips and Dating Advice Newsletter.