Dating Advice for Women

Next week is the blast-off for the paperback version of Sealing the Deal!!!!  30 Free bonus gifts are available if you buy it this week!   Click here for details.

To celebrate I will be speaking and signing copies of Sealing the Deal and Love in 90 Days at two  fun free events in NYC.  In addition to other self help gurus, both will have editors and literary agents there also!  Please let anyone who could benefit know about them.  And folks need to come early, as the events will be filled up very quickly. xoxo Diana

 Change Your Life: A New Year’s Resolution Book Panel

Strand Book Store, Tue Jan 10  at 7pm.828 Broadway (at 12th St)

(212) 473-1452strandbooks.com

Subway: L, N, Q, R, 4, 5, 6 to 14th St–Union SqGet directions

Critics’ Picks: The Five Best Events this Thu 29-Wed 11

Shapiro, the author of Unhooked: How to Quit Anything, brings together distinguished and varied panelists A.J. Jacobs, Diana Kirschner, Kate Hartson, Wendy Sherman, Frederick Woolverton and Tony Lyons to put audience members on the path of achieving “everything  they  want.”

http://www.strandbooks.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/event.show/ID/0fc76046-555b-47a6-972e-b62790d790f0

SPEED-SHRINKING FOR THE NEW YEAR

Wednesday, January 11 at 7:00pm

It’s hard to find a great new shrink and in this economy, many New Yorkers can’t afford psychotherapy. At this fun, free “speed shrinking” soiree you can speed date with top Manhattan mental health professionals to look for a new guru or just to get smart advice about something that’s bothering you. Whether you need an addiction specialist, a sex therapist, a Jungian astrologer, a gay/lesbian expert or a marriage mentor, this stellar line-up of licensed therapists will guide you towards better karma in the days to come. Refreshments and treats will be served.

• Frederick Woolverton, Ph.D., author of Unhooked & founder of the Village Institute for Psychotherapy
• Psychologist Diana Kirschner, author of the new book Sealing the Deal and Love in 90 Days
• Long Island–based acclaimed Jungian astrologer Robert Cook
• Jungian psychotherapist Sherene Schostak, author of Surviving Saturn’s Return: Overcoming the Most Tumultuous Time of Your Life
• Upper East Side–based sex therapist Cathy Beaton, M.S.
• Dr. Robert F. Scherma, a Village psychologist who works with both LGBT and straight patients
• Diane Spear, family counselor and psychotherapist
• Sherry Amatenstein, licensed clinical social worker and relationship author of The Complete Marriage Counselor
• Upper West Side psychiatrist and psycho-pharmalcoogist Sheri Sprit

PLUS! LITERARY GURUS: Agent Ryan Harbage, NAL book editor Danielle Perez, Marie Claire editor Elise Nersesian-Sole, Out editor Jerry Portwood, and Frisky.com editor Ami Angelowicz, and literary agents Ryan Harbage and Kimberly Perel (editor of the upcoming anthology Wedding Cake for Breakfast).

The whole event is MC’d by neurotic comedians Royal Young and Libby Segal.  Here is the link:

http://www.housingworks.org/events/detail/speed-shrinking-for-the-new-year-with-susan-shapiro

 ♥Dating Tips & Relationship Advice from My Heart to Yours♥

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & author of the highly acclaimed relationship advice book, “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” as well as the best-selling dating advice book, “Love in 90 Days.” Dr. Diana’s revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love and dating. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship Tips and Dating Advice Newsletter.

Dating Advice from a True Pro!

As most of you know I have an awesome team of expert Love Mentors™ who have used my principles to get or stay happily married. They are truly gifted in helping women find dating success and lasting love. All the Mentors™ have a minimum of a Masters in a mental health discipline, long backgrounds in transformational work and are trained and closely supervised by me. One of my top mentors is Tamara Green, who has helped virtually all her mentees have dating breakthroughs  and  love (if they follow her advice!). Tamara has been happily married for years, has an MSW and training in couples therapy, hypnotherapy and belief management. Plus, she has gone through our intensive training in Love in 90 Days and Sealing the Deal principles to help women and men find dating success with wonderful partners and create the love  relationships of their dreams.

Recently Tamara was interviewed by Deborah Dachinger, on her popular “Dare to Dream” radio program. This is a great show that gives people hope as it helps them move their dreams and goals forward by offering solid guidance and examples. The show’s message is don’t just Dare to Dream — dare to make those dreams a reality.

Download the inspirational dating and relationship advice interview Debbi did with Tamara
(up to 1 minute to download depending on your connection speed):
Finding True Love by Love Mentor Tamara Green

“Dare to Dream” airs Wednesday through Sunday, worldwide, on www.925KYHY.com from 92.5 FM “The Why” KYHY in Burbank, California. Visit Debbi Dachinger’s site at : http://www.deborahdachinger.com

Wishing you dating success and great  love,

Dr. Diana

Dr. Diana Kirschner

Dating and Relationship Advice from my Heart to Yours

One of my savvy readers sent in the following dating story from the front lines. Kudo’s to her! Read on–it is hysterical!!

Dating Advice Story: My Fling with Don Draper

When I first read about the Flame Out concept, from Love in 90 Days, I thought Dr. Diana was describing the begining of every dating relationship I’d ever experienced in my adult life. This pattern was followed by Scraps. I would put up with anything. I used to call this “love at first sight.” I had no idea the rush I was feeling was actually anxiety and not love at all.

I was finally able to learn my lesson by employing the dating program of 3, letting my diamond self shine through, and by waiting to sleep with a man I will call Don Draper. He was rich, charming, romantic, handsome and mysterious, and looked just like Don Draper, the womanizing ad executive on the HBO series Mad Men. Before I uncovered my diamond self, I would have kept all those intense feelings to myself, but I decided to make light of the situation and let my sassy sense of humor shine through. My diamond self always has a witty remark and stays in control because she’s just cute and sweet enough to pull off an attitude. Whenever Don would try to overpower me with his charms, get me to sleep with him, avoid my questions and remain aloof, I would say something silly to lighten the mood like, “Oh Don Draper, who are you, REALLY?” and change the subject. Once he mentioned the 3 date rule, which amused me too. I would later find out he wasn’t joking at all.

We had 4 lovely, passionate and romantic dates together over the holidays. I felt like we were movie stars, each moment was perfect. We shared the same wry sense of humor, we had both attended the same university on the same academic scholarship and we both had successful corporate careers with tons of flexiblity. We both loved dancing and had the same taste in underground music. He took me to wonderful restaurants, insisted on paying for everything and loved dressing up as my date for my holiday functions. He let me drive his new BMW and played all my favorite songs while we kissed at one of his homes in front of the fireplace. I gushed about him to my close friends and family, saying I had met the “one.” I even called my psychic, who agreed there was a lot of “light” around the situation, but she had a strong warning. She said, “go slow in dating this one and it will all work out in the end.” She was right to warn me with this dating advice. He had avoided introducing me to any of his friends and refused to add me on Facebook.

Don was always dashing and kind, until our last evening together, when I saw a flash of his true temperament. It was new years eve and I hadn’t seen or heard from him in over a week. Even though I was away at a friends cabin skiing, it felt like the longest week ever, just waiting for him to call. I tried to busy myself contacting the other men I was seeing, but I only wanted to hear from Don. He said that while he was away on holiday he never used his phone. I believe any man traveling alone would be calling or texting the woman he cared for. I hadn’t heard anything more from him than “Merry Christmas Sweetie” via text message on the 25th. As soon as he said hello to me on our 4th and final date, he had the nerve to say he had missed me, looked into my eyes and kissed me deeply. My BS detector went off immediately. I was on high alert the rest of the night.

We had a lovely time dancing and drinking at an elaborate masquerade New Years Eve party. As the evening ended it became obvious I would never find my own cab home, so he had his personal driver pick us up and bring us to his place, were he promised to cook for me. I was starving and every restaurant we passed was either closed or filled to overflowing. When we arrived at his house, he immediately tried to undress me. The old me would have given into his passionate advances after such a romantic night, but my diamond self held him to his promise to cook after a long night of drinking. He was so irritated with me that he flicked water in my face as if I were a naughty cat. I turned on my heel to leave and walk home in my heels in the winter snow, but he held me back, apologizing profusely.

We agreed to have a heart to heart talk. I told him that I liked him very much but I wanted to take things slow, get to know him and have fun. I admitted I was extra cautious after a nasty relationship with an abusive man. I felt like he and I were speaking different languages. He said that I was obviously looking for something serious, to which I replied that I wanted to keep things light. I told him I wasn’t interested in infatuation or flings, but I wasn’t ready for a boyfriend yet either. After we ate it was very late and storming outside. As he brought me to his bedroom I asked for pajamas to spend the night in and soap to remove the mask I had painted on my eyes for our event. I tried to enjoy the rest of our night together, continuing to kiss, flirt and share favorite videos and music online, but never letting him get far. I kept a respectful distance but he was obviously insulted that we weren’t having sex. Instead of going to brunch as planned the next day, he insisted he was jet-lagged from his trip and brought me home.

One week later I wrote him an email to ask why he hadn’t contacted me. He waited yet another week to respond and tell me that I was fun, but not fun enough. He wrote to say he had never heard any woman say the kinds of things I had said to him and that I was emasculating. At the end of his short message he said that he respected me. I was totally bewildered. I could not believe my eyes, reading and re-reading his email over and over. I felt such a strong connection and attraction to this man, was he really so angry or offended that we hadn’t had sex after only 4 dates? I let all of my closest friends read it. They high-fived me for escaping a total player without putting out or getting hurt.

Admittedly, I remained confused for a few months and wondered if he would ever contact me to apologize and reignite things. I even sent him a text and an email, just to see how he was doing and ask if he wanted to chat. He never responded. My friends were right, he was just a player with all the right lines. It all clicked when I saw this hilarious skit starring John Hamm as Don Draper, “How to pick up Women” It’s pretty funny… and sadly very effective with the ladies! Thanks Dr. Diana for having my back! Enjoy this skit!

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/don-drapers-guide/787241/

Wishing you love,

Dr. Diana

Dr. Diana Kirschner, Dating-to-True-Love Mentor

Dating and relationship advice from my heart ♥ to yours

Despite how important sex is to our well-being, many people are unhappy about their sex lives. A landmark 2008 study by the Journal of the American Medical Association found that 43% of American women and 31% percent of men admitted they had a sexual problem.  And usually these studies under-report the actual percentages because, let’s face it: who wants to admit they can’t get it up or they can’t have an orgasm through intercourse?

In my new relationship advice book, Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love, I share the sex research on how couples can really enhance their sex life. there are 4 primary ways: novelty, sexual trance, partner engagement, and role play.  In Part I we looked at how novelty and sexual trance make for oh so much fun. In Part II we’ll look at how partner engagement and role play turn ho-hum sex into fireworks.

But before we dive into this sexy topic, I want you to take advantage of  FREE ongoing support: You can learn EXACTLY how to improve your relationship, keep the passion going and deepen commitment by subscribing to my Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter, absolutely FREE!  Click Here to get started now.

Partner Engagement

Partner engagement is interactive sex and sex play.  Your partner is seen as a separate person whose happiness and satisfaction are as important as one’s own.  At the highest level of partner engagement there is rapture, bliss, plus a feeling of oneness with each other.

Þ    In partner engagement you each are dedicated to the fullest sexual expression and fulfillment of the other.  This is the arena where you stretch to accommodate what the other wants to do.  But never go to the point of intolerable pain or trauma.

Þ    Be adventurous and take the initiative at times with pleasing each other.  A spontaneous ambush for a quickie is a great idea.  There’s nothing like “surprise sex” to amp up your pleasure centers.

Role Play

The last type of sexual intimacy comes from role play.  The couple creates a kind of magic theater where sex is a stage for each partner to share and enact fantasies with each other.  About 95% of people report that they have sexual fantasies so you’re not alone.  Fantasies help each of you to explore all the different aspects of self which frees up energy and loosens you up.  Plus it helps reduce the urge to cheat because you both are already having the novelty of a “different” partner.

Þ    The excitement and newness of role play keeps the dopamine flowing, which keeps the passion going.

Þ    Role plays often emerge from fantasies.  The most common fantasies involve an imaginary romantic lover, being overpowered or forced to surrender, reliving a sexual experience or pretending they are doing something wicked or forbidden.

Þ    Most common roles include, naughty doctor and patient, naughty cop and lawbreaker, master and slave, fantasy forced submission.

Sexual Issues

If you or your partner has sexual issues first use some of the techniques I have described to try breaking through the barriers on your own. If he has erectile dysfunction there are medications available that have been very effective for men. They’re still working on approving meds for arousal problems in women. But other physical problems could be affecting you, like anemia in women or hormone abnormalities. For men, low testosterone levels have become very common and can have very negative consequences on both libido and erections. Medications you are taking can have libido-depressing side-effects.  For example, tranquilizers are notorious for interfering with your sex drive.

Don’t let a physical problem prevent you from having sex so check with your doctor.   If your issues are not simply physical then by all means seek out a sex therapist or a couples’ therapist who specializes in sexual dysfunction. Treat this problem as you would diabetes or any other serious illness. It will be well worth it. And don’t forget to pick up a copy of my new relationship advice book, Sealing the Deal. It has a whole chapter devoted to the latest information on how long-term couples keep the fires of passion burning brightly.

Wishing you love,

Dr. Diana

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & best-selling author of  the new highly acclaimed relationship advice book, “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” and the best-seller “Love in 90 Days” (dating advice book).” Dr. Diana’s revolutionary work was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE relationship & dating advice newsletter.

Below is a link to the free teleseminar I just did for the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.  It focuses on the dating tips and relationship advice over 45 women have successfully used to find passionate lasting love.

Here are some of the topics we covered:

• The single most important key to creating the relationship you want
• How you can break Deadly Dating Patterns that ruin any chance of lasting love
• How to empower yourself through the Dating Program of Three
• How to find, attract and date terrific men
• What is a love mentor – and how you can get one
• The ‘Diamond Self’ exercise, which you can use to overcome shyness
• Tips on how to create irresistible online dating photos and profiles

Join me to discover key secrets for creating the companionship and love you want in this exclusive NABBW teleseminar, based on my book, Love in 90 Days. (NOTE: This technique really works.  Here is a New York Times article about the awesome wedding of  Midge Woolsey who used the Love in 90 Days techniques and mentoring to create her happily-ever-after.

Listen at your convenience.  Here’s the link : http://attendthisevent.com/?eventid=15951252

Wishing you love,

Dr. Diana

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & best-selling author of “Love in 90 Days” (dating advice book)” out now in paperback (at Amazon) with a new chapter on “Dating Games Men Play.” Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE relationship & dating advice newsletter.