Do you believe there is a soulmate out there for you? If you said ‘yes’, you’re not alone. Studies have shown that over 90% of young adults believe in the concept. And 88% believe that destiny has determined that there is one and only one person who is your soulmate. Amazing, right? Considering that the idea is thousands of years old and probably was originated by Greek philosophers like Plato who described the soulmate as the person’s “other half” that has been split from him. The quest of life is to find that missing half, that twin flame.
But the soulmate idea also carries with it the belief that a perfect person exists for us, if only we could find him or her. Then love and life would be easy. This last belief has gotten people into a lot of trouble, especially in the area of commitment. By insisting on finding a perfect partner, many people have walked away from really great potential partners. Why? Because something was missing. Maybe it was chemistry or that he/she didn’t match their ideal of the One and so on.
If you are afraid that you are missing out on finding a real soulmate, definitely take advantage of my Dating Tips and Relationship Advice Newsletter where we cover your most pressing questions about finding and keeping a love relationship with your soulmate.
So what does science have to say about all soulmates? Psychologists have found that people fall into two groups on the question of what makes for a successful relationship: Group one believes it’s based primarily on finding the “right person” (soulmate); while group two believes in the “work at it consistently” approach to lasting love. The soulmate group believes that choosing the right person helps overcome most of the problems that love throws our way. And if it doesn’t go so easy, we must have picked the wrong person. So therefore on to the next partner. The “work at it” group believes that there are no perfect princes or princesses and that we are all works in progress. Therefore, a lasting love relationship is never an easy process and we shouldn’t ever expect that.
Having been a psychologist for more than 25 years and married to one man for the same long stretch, I can tell you that there are no perfect partners out there. Not me. Not my husband. Not any of my many clients, friends, or family members. Lasting love is a hard-won battle of personal discipline, compromise, dedication and commitment.
That’s why I decided to write Find Your Soulmate Online in Six Simple Steps. This dating advice book, which costs less than a latte at Starbucks will show you the most effective ways to meet your soulmate online. What to look for and what you must do to prepare yourself to meet the One.
So first off I want you to know that, chances are very good, there is more than one person, in fact several Ones who could fit the bill for you. And all of them are less than perfect. But if there are no perfect partners, how can you know whether your current partner can fit the bill as a soulmate?
Here from the book are 11 relationship markers to help you know to what degree he is one of the Ones … Your Soulmate.
1 – When you’re with him you feel like you’ve come home.
2 – You feel like your partnership was meant to be as if kissed by destiny.
3 – In your communication with each other there is a rapid “knowing” of what each of you means.
4 – You have a shared mission in life, perhaps a cause, a career, or the creation of a family.
5 – When you’re together the world seems like a better place.
6 – Your mood is elevated when you’re together. It’s not necessarily passion or excitement, although that’s there too at times.
7 – When you look at him you see a part of yourself that’s been missing. Perhaps it’s his assertiveness or joy of adventure. But it’s something that when added to your life, makes you feel more complete.
8 – Being together makes you more hopeful about the future you are creating.
9 – You can be more authentic and fully yourself around your partner.
10 – Being together makes each of you work harder on overcoming bad habits and becoming more loving people.
11 – These special qualities of connection are growing over time. Not disappearing completely or diminishing.
Don’t worry if you don’t feel all 11 of these things happening when you’re with your partner. That’s where the imperfection comes in–either in you or your partner. If you are experiencing six or more of these markers, chances are you are matched well. Over time you can work towards having all 11 of these soulmate qualities. So pick up a copy of Find Your Soulmate Online in 6 Simple Steps and let me show you how you can find your soulmate.
Here’s a letter from Robin who worked with an expert dating coach handpicked by me and ended up marrying her soulmate:
“Having a Love Mentor was what allowed me to get married. That guidance helped me get over my tendency to blame the other person and wanting to be right. Nurturing loving guidance combined with a firm hand in letting me know when I was being a spoiled brat allowed me to look at my own patterns from a neutral perspective. I learned that I deserve to be supported on all levels, including financially–that I could have a true reciprocal loving partnership. Our wedding was spectacular and I couldn’t be any happier!”
Wishing you love,