Another year and another string of holidays are coming fast. And you are still single. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Hanukkah. Are you doomed to a miserable holiday if your relatives drive you crazy? Does Aunt Millie always cluck about what a shame it is that you are single? Even if your family is a battlefield, or you are super stressed-out you can turn any holiday one of the best holidays you’ve ever had. Simply use my five-step “secret sauce” relationship advice for singles who have to deal with problem relatives at the traditional family gatherings.
Knowing how to deal with your family when you are single at holiday time is crucial not only to your success in creating the love you want, but also to your own self-esteem and happiness. And to help you with this important process don’t forget to take advantage of my FREE 40 minute love mentoring session: You can learn EXACTLY how to find and attract the one, how to tell the DUDs from the STUDs, how to go from casual to a real commitment and much much more by signing up for a free personal session with one of my gifted Love Mentors, absolutely FREE! Click Here to get started now.
So here are your five relationship tips to make these holidays the best ever:
1. Shock your troublesome ‘bad egg’ relatives into being cordial or even likable. List three things, even small things, like hair color or crossword puzzle ability, you truly appreciate about them. Work these things into your conversation in an authentic way at the beginning of the family visit. This will tend to shock these ‘bad eggs’ into being ‘good eggs.’
2. Use the therapist’s secret. When you’re facing a battle-axe relative, win by refusing to fight.Accept comments about your appearance, weight or singlehood that used to upset you with a nod and say “That’s the way you see it.” This really throws them and saves you from a lot of holiday stress.
3. Stop worrying about looking good. Maybe you’ve just broken up with someone who your parents liked. You feel loser-like, vulnerable and lonely coming to the family dinner. You worry about how you are dressed, the extra pounds you’ve put on and various other assorted silly ideas. Realize that the way they see you doesn’t really matter. Underneath whatever they say, they probably love you to pieces. So forget about looking good. Your real job is to have fun and enjoy yourself.
4. Set up a positive bond when a new boy/girlfriend comes to a holiday dinner with your family. Beforehand, tell both the family and your friend all the “good news” about each other.Introduce discussion topics both have interest in.If you are the newbie in the family, bring an incredibly thoughtful gift for the occasion, ask questions and listen a lot. Appreciate any and all good things about the meal, the house and the family members and remember to tell them what you enjoyed!
5.Set your intention for this holiday. You can make up your mind to have a happy holiday, no matter what your family relationships are like.Decide something like, “This is the happiest Thanksgiving I’ve ever had.”Remember to use the present tense. Instead of engaging in family relationship battles, as soon as it’s possible, give yourself your own fun—excuse yourself and go for a walk or make snow angels with the kids.
Setting your intention, is the most important step. This holiday you will probably be just as happy as you decide to be. And to help you with this important process don’t forget to take advantage of a FREE 40 minute love mentoring session: by signing up for a free personal session with one of my gifted Love Mentors, Click Here to get started now.
Wishing you much love and happiness,
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & author of the highly acclaimed new relationship advice book, “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” as well as the best-selling dating advice book, “Love in 90 Days.” Dr. Diana’s revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship Tips and Dating Advice Newsletter.