Shy on a First Date? Seven Tips to Make You Sparkle


After great e-romance, text jokes, and a few three hour soul-to-soul phone sessions, it is time to meet the possible One at the local Italian place.  You look in the mirror and nothing seems right. You seem to have a Ph.D. in shyness.  And you know just how awkward things can get when you get tongue-tied or feel intimidated. There is nothing quite as intimidating as being shy on a first date with someone who seems like just the right match, a hottie who fits you like a silk glove.

Not to worry.  Here are seven dating tips taken from my Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter that will help any shy woman shine on a first date:

Seven Dating Tips for Shy Women

1. If you are meeting in-person, make yourself beautiful or attractive IN YOUR OWN EYES (which are the eyes that really count).  Take your time to do this and make sure you dress down or up so you fit in and feel comfortable at the meeting place.

2. Have topics ready to discuss around movies/TV shows, books, and news that you both may find interesting (nothing political or heavy).

3. Prepare your answers to the questions, What’s new?  What have you been up to?

4. When you get there, smile and give the person your full attention.   Notice very carefully what they are wearing and other details about your surroundings.  The cut of his shirt, the color of the molding on the walls, how the waiter is dressed, etc.  This will get your attention off yourself (attention that is stuck on yourself is the whole basis for shyness!!)

5. Ask general, casual, open-ended questions like, How did your day go? What was it like where you grew up? How did you get interested in X?   What drew you to my profile? Pay attention and enjoy the sound of your date’s voice as he/she answers these questions.

6. Avoid discussing old boyfriends or relationships (the number one conversation killer on a first date); talking about marriage, kids or sex; or discussing debt or health problems.

7. At the end, if there was any connection at all, tell your date how much you enjoyed talking with him or her and that you would like to continue it sometime.

Using these simple dating tips will allow any shy woman to relax, be yourself and have a great time.

Wishing you love,
Dr. Diana

About Dr. Diana Kirschner

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love", and of the best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.


  1. says

    Great advice, first dates are usually quite nerve racking especially for someone who is shy, but with these tips it will make it a lot easier.

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