This dating advice for women blog is an article by one of our awesome professional Love Mentors®, Jim Delpino. Jim has been in private practice for 29 years and has helped many women become fulfilled –sexually and in creating great love relationships.
Simone and Jordan had been married for thirteen years and enjoyed a wonderful lifestyle, as Jordan has a very successful career. They traveled the world and felt very blessed to be leading a life that was the envy of most of their friends. All seemed good at first glance, however in the bedroom things had not fared well. So Simone signed up for a free love mentoring session and afterwards decided to continue along with Jordan.
In a private session with Simone, she shared with me that while she masturbated several times a day, she had never been able to have an orgasm with Jordan. Like many women she had never been able to express her sexual needs to her man. Also like many women she had been afraid of shattering his ‘fragile male ego’ in the bedroom and so she became adept at faking orgasm to please her husband. From her masturbatory experiences, Simone knew exactly what needed to change. Simone knew that the pace of lovemaking needed to be slowed and that the depth of penetration needed to be altered. But how would she present this information to Jordan?
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We practiced several role plays until Simone was comfortable with the idea of discussing things with Jordan in a sexy, fun and alluring fashion. Her script turned out to be something like this: “You know baby how I love to be with you. You make me feel so wonderful and sexy. Lately I’ve been having this fantasy about you that makes me feel wild inside. You have always been a wonderful lover and so responsive to my needs. My fantasy is that you make me wait longer to have an orgasm, by going slower and not as deep inside of me. This kind of teasing will set me on fire and I think I will just lose control.”
This kind of sexual adjustment reminded me of the couple Anastasia and Christian in “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Once Anastasia allowed Christian power over her their sexual relationship blossomed. Jordan, like most good men was wired to please his woman. When I met with him, he shared Simone’s fantasy with me and felt as though he now had the keys to the kingdom. I reinforced with him the idea of building her desire and increasing her longing. This avoided the trap of injuring the fragile male ego and launched their love-making to great new heights. Jordan’s sexual confidence increased as he learned to make his multi-orgasmic wife shudder with pleasure at the thoughts of what he would do to her when he came home from work. An erotic interplay worthy of 50 Shades of Grey!
When Simone and Jordan became more emotionally involved and connected their “having sex” turned into hot erotic lovemaking. What does or doesn’t happen in the bedroom often speaks to what is going awry outside of the bedroom. It is equally true that what happens outside of the bedroom has an awful lot to do with what does or does not happen in the bedroom. The two are inextricably linked for a couple.
Thank you for your inspiration & powerful dating advice for women, Jim! You can get your own one-on-one 40 minute Love Mentoring® Session by phone or Skype! Just click here & fill out the form.
Wishing you love,
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. has been a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & author of the highly acclaimed relationship advice book, “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” as well as the best-selling dating advice book, “Love in 90 Days.” Dr. Diana’s revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love and dating for over 50s. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship Tips and Dating Advice Newsletter.
Dating Advice for Women Series-Sex Tips and Advice