In this blog we continue with Part 2 of online dating success for those of you women over 40. Part 1 covered the importance of the photo in great detail. Today, you’ll learn five more dating advice secrets that have helped many over 40s, over 50s and over 60s women find real lasting partners on line. They are: how to create the perfect, screenname, headline and profile; how to describe your ideal match; which sites to sign up for; and how to use search engine secrets to optimize your chances of being seen by many more guys. Before we continue with the rest of the secrets for online dating success I want to give you the gift of knowledge. You can learn much more about dating and relationships by signing up for my free Dating Tips and Relationship Advice Newsletter. All you have to do is Click Here.
1. Your Screenname, Headline and Profile Need to Pop
To differentiate yourself from all the other women out there, your screenname, headline and profile have to be real, upbeat and clever representations of who you are. First, sign on to one of the larger online sites that has plenty of boomer aged-men like Match, eHarmony and PlentyOfFish.com as a male looking for a female and jot down ideas. Ideally do this exercise with a male friend to help you see what guys are looking for. Next, ask each of your two best friends to write up a one paragraph description of you, highlighting your unique and wonderful qualities. Now you are ready to put together an optimal screenname and profile that is 100% you and stands out.
Screennames like BubblyBrit; RioGirlinNYC; RareYetWellDone all pop. They give guys a vivid picture of your personality. Try variations on these examples, or other positive and creative examples you can see by logging on to a major site as a guy looking for a woman. You can also appeal to men’s interests in a clever way. FootballSeasonistheBestTimeofYear; ILuvEntrepreneurs; or MatchPointMatch will catch the eye of a guy who shares your interests. Similarly, you can create screennames that appeal to golfers, baseball enthusiasts, lawyers, doctors, sudoku-players or any other hobby or interest.
Avoid defensive, kooky or negative monikers, like IHaveaKidIWillAlwaysLove; OrangePolkaDots; or LuckyLies. And please avoid anything to do with eye-color, being “sweet” or any of the other trite and boring names or headlines you see over and over.
2. The Perfect Headline and Profile
For your Headline, write a sentence that showcases you and basically restates your love intention, but phrased in the third person.
Warm, witty, wonderful woman now looking for her special guy.
Foxy, fun-loving redhead seeks her mate.
Caring, kind Southern girl looking for a great partner.
Avoid simply restating what you put in your screenname or indicating that you are fun and ready for a good time (that will only get you a crop of guys who are not interested in a relationship).
For the Profile, start by working from your friends’ write-ups (see Part 1). Be honest and lead with your most inviting qualities. Are you funny? A people person? Do you have a quick mind? Are you creative? Write about it. Then throw in some quirky, endearing or funny specifics. For example you can say that you are a Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle person or love music from the 80’s. List your interests that men would be likely to share. For example, you might mention hiking with the Sierra club, wine dinners or your favorite sports team.
Barbara, a people-person realtor successfully used our love mentoring program to meet the love of her life online. Here’s the Headline that really attracted him.:
I have that approachable quality where people think I’m someone they know. I’m a fiercely loyal friend and a good listener who loves storytellers. I also love the thrill of the deal, am pretty handy in the kitchen and a great speller. I love peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, baseball games, stand-up comics, kissing and spur-of-the-moment road trips.
3. Less is More When It Comes to Describing Your Ideal Match
When you write about an ideal match, make it short and general. Less is more—you don’t want the man feeling like he can’t measure up to a long list of qualities. Also, remember that you are going to be filling your Dating Program of Three dance card, which will include guys who at first are “not really your type.” Something like the following works fine: Looking for a good-hearted, successful man who wants a committed relationship with his best friend and lover. You want to cast a wide net to capture men who are interested and then do the picking and choosing. When you do start sorting through your responses, then you can choose men whose profiles indicate that they are in the correct age range, successful and looking for a long-term relationship and children, if you want them.
4. Work a Larger Site and a Boutique Site
I recommend that you bcomee a paid subscriber on two sites: one large one, such as Match, eHarmony, or PlentyOfFish.com, and one specialized site like JDate.com, Christianmingle.com or Blacksingles.com. Browse through different sites, reading the profiles. Go with your intuition in picking a site. According to independent sources, there are currently over thirty million unique visitors per month at U.S. dating sites. And millions more per month in the U.K. and Europe. So there are plenty of people from whom to select.
5. Master the Search Engine Secrets that Get More Results
A highly ranked profile can increase your visibility and generate more responses. When men run a search for women, and you meet the criteria, you will land at the top of their search results, ahead of other women, just by following some simple rules. On a number of sites, recently updated profiles are ranked higher. You don’t have to do much to qualify. You can just tweak your info, changing your ideal first date or hobby frequently. On some sites, you will come up as “New” all over again if you simply delete a sentence in your profile and then replace it. Though these are easy ways to update your profile, it’s also a good idea to experiment with your photo, screenname and profile to see if making some changes pulls in better guys.
There are many other secrets to making online dating sites produce top-quality guys for over 40s women! If you really want to fast forward to your success online and learn all the simple secrets that have helped many over 40s find the One quickly, then I have great news for you. My expert Love Mentors will teach you these easy-to-use strategies and help you develop photos, screennames and profiles that will make you stand out. And it’s included in my love mentoring package. Better yet, if you like, I will personally review your online presence at no extra cost. To introduce you to this service and for a limited time you can have a FREE 40-minute coaching session with an expert Love Mentor by phone or Skype. Each one has a long background in transformational work and is closely supervised by me. Most importantly, each Mentor knows how to help you online and off-line so that you move forward to the love relationship you really want! So take advantage of this free offer today.
Wishing you love,
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & creator of global free love mentoring sessions and author of the highly acclaimed new book, “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” as well as the best-selling author of “Love in 90 Days.” Dr. Diana’s revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship and Dating Advice Newsletter