Here is an email from the trenches:
I am a mess. I just broke up with my boyfriend, Gene after eight months. It was not clear where it was going and it was driving me crazy. He said he wasn’t sure that he wanted the whole white picket fence thing. I don’t really want all that but I am 39 and really have dreams of love. And I want children too. When I first brought up having a child he just changed the subject. When I brought it up again, I couldn’t stop myself from crying and we wound up having a huge blow-out where he walked right out of the restaurant. After that Gene stopped calling me and we didn’t see each other for a whole weekend. I was beside myself, went to his place and we had a screaming match. I was the one who told him it was over. But I think that is what he really wanted. It has been two months now and I am devastated. I want him back more than I can say. But I don’t know what to do. ~Sheila, Kentucky
Like Sheila, we all can take wrong turns in the battlefields of love. Yet, I’ve learned one key secret that can stop self-sabotage and help make our dreams of love manifest.
That secret is finding an ally to help us navigate those treacherous minefields. An ally that is practical and wise. I call these people Love Mentors.
If Sheila had a Love Mentor, she would have had someone to advise her about how to steady herself and envision the future she wanted to create with Gene. A mentor would have been able to help Sheila feel more self-confident and shape a talk about a shared future with Gene so that it unfolded WITHOUT DRAMA and thus, maximized the possibility that he would share Sheila’s vision and commit to her.
A wise dating and relationship coach would have counseled Sheila to busy herself with other passions and hobbies instead of obsessing about Gene and his commitment. To make sure that she continued having fun with Gene instead of being so tense and anxious with him. To warn her that drama and joylessness would play big roles in driving him away. A wise Love Mentor would even know exactly how to counsel Sheila so that she could make the right moves that could re-engage Gene. So that Sheila would have the dreams of love she so deeply yearned for.
Because we all need coaching. Especially for dreams of love.
Sending you love,