Long Distance Relationships: Should I Move 3000 Miles?

long distance relationshipsLong Distance Relationships can be challenging. You meet a great person and it feels like a glorious, soulmate relationship. You are dreaming about an amazing future with this great match, who definitely feels like the One. Only problem is, he or she lives a long way away from where you are. And you are afraid that this will be the kiss of death for the whole relationship. Your fear is well founded. Long distance relationships have lots of built-in obstacles.

You wonder: Just how do you keep long distance relationships smokin’ hot so you can have the happiest-ever-after you are dreaming about? Here are seven relationship tips to practice BEFORE you pack up your belongings to be with the One. And please watch the video below for additional insight:

1. Bookend your days with connection. Each morning and every night make sure you talk with your Beloved on Skype (better because eye contact creates oxytocin, the bonding hormone!) or on the phone. This will cement you in as a regular part of their day.
2. Have phone or Skype sex at least twice a week. Nothing impedes long distance relationships from growing into something more permanent than the absence of physical contact. So try to act like a normal couple in the sexual arena. Hearing and seeing the sexy sounds and sights of each other in a hot mode will bring about bonding and generate good feelings about the relationship.
3. Text or call throughout the day so that you are in contact and talking about what is happening for each of you.
4. Take turns coming to stay with each other for at least a couple of days. During this time make sure you have a lot of fun and passionate sex, which releases more oxytocin. Over time make these visits longer so that you can see how you do as a couple when you are living together.
5. If your Beloved has a crisis, drop everything and be as supportive as possible. Show him or her that they come first in your life.
6. If the relationship is growing for a year or more in a way that feels more intimate, committed and nourishing, consider making the sacrifice of giving up the life you have in order to move in with your long-distance partner. If you do this, take time to work out a contract about what your partner will do so that he or she is supporting you and making his or her own sacrifices to establish your new life together with the least stress possible for you.
7. Sometimes long distance relationships seem to be progressing but moving in with the partner is not feasible. In that case, discuss with him or her what you would be willing to provide in terms of financial, emotional, networking, job search or other support if your partner would consider moving in with you or into housing together in your area.
When you use some of these relationship tips, long-distance relationships can work out to become very satisfying and committed arrangements. So give it a try and see if you and your Beloved can grow together despite the obstacles involved. For more relationship advice check out this video:

Wishing you love,
Dr. Diana

About Dr. Diana Kirschner

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a relationship advice expert, frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show and the creator of a globally available dating coach and Love Mentor® program. Dr. Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love", and of the best-selling relationship and dating book, “Love in 90 Days”. Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter.


  1. says

    I’m not a big fan of long distance relationship. It depends upon individual to individual. As Diana said in the video, even if the other one is providing the complete support, one should think twice and use the brain and heart both. Now how much brain and how much heart is to be used depends on individual.

  2. says

    I think with all the technologies nowadays, long distance relationship can stand strong. Just like what mentioned about Skype and texting, both parties can make each other feel loved all the time even if countries apart.

  3. Debbie says

    Great article it definitely hits the core of the subject but i believe everyone can find happiness thats why most people use Lachido Dating http://www.lachido.com because it has a good mix of lots of messages and very good dates.

  4. kristi says

    Im in a long distance relationship, he just left around Christmas the problem in having wit him being away is I text an call him everyday an he won’t text or csll me back, he told me it because he can’t have his phone on him while his working but I tell what about when u get off. I really have feelings for him and see a dirtier with him he tells me he sees the same with me but it’s hard to believe him due with his actions he showing me different. We’ve been together for 6 months an when we met he was seeing someone he called it off her an we got together, I’m scared he’ll do the same thing. I don’t know what to do I don’t want to lose him he’s my everything I don’t want to be with anyone else except for him. Please if you can help me out.

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